:)

happy giler can?



like, it's a first time for me to see my name like that.

i've had a freaking long day.
just wanna munch some more cookies that the bf's mom gave,
and off to sleep.
:)

challenges

it's 4 am!
and i still cannot sleep.

thinking.
pondering.
processing information.

whatever you call it.

too many problems arise at one time.
i'm just trying my very best to be strong about it.
for me, for everyone's sake.

am sure that i'm beginning to feel like my old self.
i don't know whether it's good or not.

hecking care can't be a good thing right?
running away doesnt solve things right?

haish. why all the challenges dear God?

misunderstood.

why am i making things very difficult?

i seriously don't know what to do,
and crying is the only way i can let all the sadness out.
you may not like it, but that's the only way i know.

i feel so stuck.
i don't have the strength to fight back.
i really don't.

i also don't know what else to answer.
i feel so misunderstood.

help.

spending spree. :)

ohh i suke sekali!

eversince i had my pay,
i've been spending and spending and spending.
:)

on the 10th of September,
after school, went to meet the boyfriend at queenstown.
and then met Yaty at Clarke Quay,
took bus to Hotel Miramar.
had Japanese buffet, LOVED IT!











syiok!
of course, there are loads of other pictures,
which i don't think it's possible to upload all of em here.
haha.

and these were the people involved!
















so after the whole thing,
akie came to fetch yaty.
so it was left with me and bf.

thought of taking cab home,
so we searched for atm,
and at the same time went around to look at nightlife.
well, more like, he showed me what nightlife is.

so we walked, from Miramar, to Clarke Quay, to Boat Quay,
to Singapore River to outskirts of City Hall,
and.. we ended up at the same bus stop that we took the bus to Miramar earlier.
=_="

and i thought he forgot.
which he didnt. :)
"you think i will always forget like you ah? i remember okay our 6th mths!"
:))

so we took cab from there.
friggin long day.

yesterday, at work,
yana and fiiq weren't working,
but they came back to do measurement for the new uniform.
so went out to IMM after Qaira picked us up,
while i was on my 1 hour lunchbreak.

i wanted to find my work shoes,
but there was no charles and keith there.
and yana ended up buying her sandals.

and we ended up spending at watsons,
which i spent $72 just buying..

- 2 rexonas.
- za 2 way cake
- maybelline mascara
- bourjois blush
- 1 sunsilk hair cream

then left work at 5 coz i had a major headache.
and decided to thread my eyebrow and buy facial cleanser and hair dye.

today,
mampos.
after work, went to jurong point with yana,
in search of work shoes again.
charles and keith jurong point customer svc sucks.
so, decided not to buy there.
and went around.. after and hour plus,
i managed to grab 2 shoes.
but, not work ones.
it's for raya. :))







thanks woman for following me,
and keeping my spirits up. :)



and reached home.
went out again with mom and the bros to buke at Mac.
and I GOT MY MEGA MCSPICY!!



and that ended my spending spree.
hmm, maybe going to bf's place to send the kuihs that ibu bought for his mum.
haish.. tired.

celebrations :)

i am not going to bother trying to sleep.
because i still can't.
it's 5.12 am.

on the other note,



HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SYAFIIQ!

he may look 20 but really, he's 26!
may God bless you in everyway,
stay happy, and cheerful always.
Usuals will love you always. :)

and,

Happy 6th Month to Me and Hafiz!



6 months and still going on.
wow, it's still unbelievable.

although, things may not be a bed of roses for us,
and we get to each other's nerves,
i still love you the same bb.
no doubt. :)

you're not just my boyfriend, you're my bestfriend. :)

can't wait for jap buffet at hotel miramar today.
:)

the past life.

i'm still in my reflective mode.
and i was reading on my archives and also looking at my photobuckets.
and i saw these pics.












LOOK AT THAT!!






this was in 2005.
so i was 16-17.
damn i was small.
huhu.

now, 2006.












still small.

and after that, i had another photobucket account,
which i cannot recall the password.
nyehehh..

damn. so thats it. :)

things.

i must admit.
i am not a strong person as i was.
i am not as motivated as i was.

i am a lot of things that i was not.
in a negative way.

at one point of time,
a person can just change.
instantly.

a person's views.
a person's thoughts.
a person's perception towards things.

trauma.
yes, pretty much change things.
sometimes, it makes you lose control of things,
lose control of yourself.

the fear is intense.

very much intense.

jane.

patrick jane. amazing. :)
and i'm done with watching..

meet-up

yeaaaay!

my boyfriend has internet at home now!
all thanks to me. :)

today i was all alone.
dad was at pasir gudang jb.
mom was at simpang renggam jb.
1st bro was at ncc camp.
2nd and 3rd bro at mosque camp.

so after work,
went to the boyfriend's place.
he was at the bus stop with his classmate,
who happens to be Osman Sulaiman's (actor) son.

broke fast at his place.
and then went to heartland mall to find the mobile broadband.
and we settled for singtel.
don't know how good it is but, i guess it'll do.

well, i guess sometimes..
meeting up does help change a situation instantly.
hurhur.

changing times.

i can't sleep.

i miss talking to him.
i miss him talking to me.

things are rapidly changing.

i have never been a big fan of change.
never.

thinking back,
i do miss us. the adventurous us.
the ones who'd spend the days going to Sentosa, Zoo, Birdpark etc.
i was passing by Science Center on the way to school this morning.
it was where we celebrated one of our monthsaries there.

things are different now.

imnotlikingittoomuch.
iwantmyboyfriendthewayhewas.
can i please?