camp out~

hurhur. it's like only 4.16pm. And we, welfare ppl, dun have to do anything much in this camp except prepare food for the freshies. ungrateful freshies. okay2.. not all of them. ahh. this camp sucks aniway.

and ouhh ya. i saw my sec sch friend just now at the Agora. haha. Razlee. I was like, "Eh, ape sehh nie mat buat kat sini?" Haha.. Ok2.. He's not a Mat okay. Actually i dun really noe him that well. Back in secondary school, he was my senior. I was in sec 3 Express in he was in Sec 4NT. We never talk much lah back then. Coz he was actually quite notorious and stuff.

But just now, we talked mcm dah knal lama gitu.. aha.. He was actually in RP to do catering for some functions. Then we talk2 lah abt bikes lah, school lahh.. And HE GAVE ME FREE FOOD. haha.. And actually, he's not such a bady guy after all. He can study. He's taken his O Levels privately and got 18 points. DUH. Better than mine. But dunno y lah his application to poly's not successful. Wasted siaa.. Den June, go NS. CD plak tuh. hurhur. Good lahh eh.

and he said, "Kat Singapore nie, kalau kau takde cert, kau nak gi maner? Aku taknak hidup aku susah."
(read: In Singapore, if u dun have a cert, where do u wanna go? I dun wanna live a difficult life.

And i was like, baik ah. hurhur. at least he thinks like that. Different from MATS nowadays. Okay2.. so, excluding my larlink lah. Since he also wanna go study after NS. hahakz..

ouhh wells, i'll update tonite. crap.

imissyou.

phuck.

hurhur. jon just said 'specified'.

heh.. try 'specific'.

okay well, firstly, HAPPY BELATED 19TH BDAY TO MY DARLING SISTA ASHZ~! Heh.. Pls lahh dey.. Dun make so much noise lahh dey.. U're giving a lot of stress to all of us u noe... haha.. still, we love yaaa~!!

i'm like so phucked up. the printing guy told me that i have to have a thumbdrive to print the consent form. sheesh!! tts so irritating. ergghh!! and summore i have to rush a lot after sch today. urgh~ lecehh nyer..

so off to camp today. But not wifout a bloody struggle wif DATABASE CLASS. urgh! Phuck man. I dun understand a single shit. Okay so, database, NOT MY THING.

Tell me to do networking, yes i'll try.
Tell me to do JAVA, oooh... it's challenging, i loike.
tell me to do web multimedia, DAMN! That's my FAV!

But DATABASE SYSTEMS?! Urgh. NO WAY.

crappp~

so, been lazing in class and slacking today. herh. daymn.

ouh phuck, so ytd, ash's bday. slacked after sch wif the usual peeps. went to civic ctr to play cards and went back home. duhh. boring. and i dunno y my dad's been complaining that i dun listen to him anymore. i mean, gee, i havent been going out. My days were like, school, cca, home. that's all. and i dun go home later that 11 on a schooling day unless there's Drama that day. Ugrh!!

gee. i'm like so bored. i hate this class. database systems. urgh.

heh.. guess wad.. wan wants me to write lyrics for his band. how cool~ ahaha.. and summore, he wants EMO~! WHOOOO. I loikeee!!

so next project: Dreams Of Chaos.

yeh baby.

and ouhh ya.

imissyouimissyouimissyou.

call me aight. if not i'll be sooo bored at nite during the camp.

shoooing off..

ChiCka

Survey

Name 20 ppl you can think of right now at the top of your head. Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 20 ppl. Then tag 5 people. go!

1. Jumali Dearie.
2. Ash
3. Sandy
4. Sid
5. George
6. Syazwan
7. Shafiq - My Adek.
8. Hikerl
9.Leanna
10. Farah
11. Ika
12. Shahidah
13. Kak Diana
14. Nouru
15. Vicky
16. Magesh
17. Muthu
18. Deva
19. Abg Man Driver
20. Thabri

1.how did u meet 14?
`Met him from Sec Sch. heh.. One of ma best mates.

2.what would you do if u've never met 1?
`heh.. if i never met 1, i wouldnt be attached now. =)

3.what would u do if 20 and 9 dated?
` Thabri and Leanna??? urmm.. ahaha.. dey dunno each other.. and Leanna darling got boboi alreadyy.. =)

4.did u ever like 19?
`urm.. haha.. Abg Man?? okay lahh.. he's like a bro i never had. although he's like over a decade older than me.

5.would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
`GAWD NO! haha.. they're bof guys. DUH.

6. Describe 3.
`SHE'S MY BITCH, MY DARLING, MY PARTNER IN CRIME AND MY BESTIE. aha.. yeah.. the ever so blur Sandy..

7.Do u tink 8 is attractive?
`Kwangg3.. ntahh.. never tot of it.. haha

8.Tell me sth about 7.
` I practically noe him the whole of his life. His my real bro, my bestie, very talented fella. =)

9.Do you know any of 12's family?
` No Idea.

10.What's 8's favourite?
`soccer,hanging out wif friends, metal music. tts all lah.

11.what would u do if 18 just confessed he/she likes you?
`OUHH GOD! I'd probably give him more punches on the stomach. haha..

12.what language does 15 speak?
` English, Tamil, and a touch of Mly.

13.Who is 9 going out with?
` SHE WONT TELL ME. hahaha..

14.how old is 16 now?
` He.. shld be turning 23 dis yr. or I think.

15.When's the last time u talked to 13?
` Last Saturday!! Had so much fun wif her at Sentosa.

16.what is 2's favourite band/singer?
` She doesnt have any fav lah. She likes all sorts of music.

17.would u ever date 4?
` I date him everyday. HAHA. Joanne would screw me. Haha.. He's one of my closest buds in RP.

18.would u ever date 7?
` Yeah sure. every day every nite. DUH. He's my bro.

19.Is 15 single?
`Yes he's single.

20.What is 10's last name?
` Fahryantie?

21.Would u ever be in a serious relationship wif 11?
`Ika?? dun wan ahh. she's serious wif her Juraimi. I'm also serious wif my Mr. haha.

22.What school does 3 go to?
`RP.

23.Where does 6 live?
`Hougang. Beside Woodbridge. No kidding. Tts y he turned out to be the way he is. haha..

24.What's yr fav thing about 5?
`
25.Have u seen number 1 naked?
`Nooo. Never. haha.

now to tag 5 people: Sandy, Thabri, Ika, Ash, Nouru.

FREAKINGGG PISSED.

MY FREAKING HP DROPPED TO THE FREAKIN SEWAGE AND MY FREAKING CONTACTS ARE IN MY FREAKING HP MEMORY AND NOW, MY FREAKING SIM CARD HAS A PATHETICALLY 7 CONTACTS.

So sue me.

sheesh. I've lost like 200 over numbers. ARGGGHH!! And now my hp

-DUN HAVE CAMERA.
-DUN HAVE RADIO.
-DUN HAVE INFRA RED.
-DUN HAVE VOICE RECORD.

ARGHHHHH!!!!!
Fed Up!

So, please ppl, send me ur numbers aigght.

Haiyaa~

confused.

well, it's 4.40 AM and i'm still not asleep. and i'm working at 10 am today. shucks.

ouhh whatever.

and yeah, u may have noticed my blog's front page.

i wish i knew wad is wrong wif me. family, parents, friends, relationship. the pics link to all these. it sucks okayy!

i finally broke down and i screamed at my mum and told her everything that i wasnt satisfied about. and in the end, world war 3 happend in the car and i cried till my eyes got puffy. and, to top that off, she said i was stubborn and hot-headed.

sigh. whatever. i dun wanna talk abt this.

i miss my peeps. more than anything else in the world. havent been chilling wif them or going to school or back wif them. Havent been smoking wif them also. since, i dun really wanna smoke. though the temptation is there but, a promise is a promise. I promise i wont smoke. So yeah, I STILL MISS YOU GUYS LAH.

Relationship.
Do i really have to say something? Coz i really have no idea wad to say. Not that we're on the bad side. And we're not on the really good side either. So, i really dunno wad to say. The last time we met was last Thursday. And we havent been really contacting much either, due to that someone which, bof of us noe wad happend.

It's just sucky when u read about ur friends breaking up wif their partners and u, trying to hold on to ur relationship and not letting UR P****** destroy it. And i'm kinda feeling it as well. And being insulted doesnt make me feel any better.

He's just trying to play wif your heart.
He's not serious abt you.
You think this relationship is gonna last? U're still young!
U're gonna get hurt in the end.
You really think he's gonna ask you to marry him?!
All he wants is ***!

OUHH FUCKKKK OKAY!
LET ME BE HAPPY FOR ONCE!

Her: Ouhh stop it Dee! U're gonna make urself cry again. Fuck stop it okay. Stop being such a WUSSY!! U've gone thru hurt b4 and u always made it through. Ppl are not gonna like it if you're moody all the time - which is so totally not you.

Me: I noe.. But i'm no superwoman. I cant just keep everything inside me. I need to let it out too. FUCKFUCKFUCK. Till when is everything gonna be like this?! I'm not gonna give up in this relationship. That's gonna be the last thing that i'm gonna do. I'm just gonna keep saving it as much as i can. If you noe the hurt i've been thru, u'd noe how much i love dis relationship.

Her: Yeah. Haiz. Dun cry so much okays. And dun keep ur feelings too. It's really not good for you.

I wish I noe wad to do.
I wish I'm not dis confused.
I wish life wont be so bitchy.
I wish everything will be fine.

But that's just it.

Wishes.

They dun come true. Not necessarily.

I may be a hot head, but my patience and tolerance are still intact. But, for now, it's like, i'm drowning in a very deep pool (and drowning is my phobia) and there's no one to rescue me. Thus, the Each Day Passes and I'm Alone GIF on my front page.

I just dun wanna tell anybody. Coz u noe, i just dun wanna burden anyone wif my never ending problems. Esp u. It's already bad enuff that my *** is not happy wif u. I just dun wanna add anymore problems to it. And especially when u're working and stuff.

Let me just handle this alone. I think I cannot manage. I think.

Life Is A Stage.

=/

Boringgg!

Omgggggg~!! The class at E37K is like, SOOOO FREAKKINGGGG COLD. I think we need to bring gloves and windbreakers to class. Urggh... At least last time, if we're cold in class, we can always go out and it's already outside. This campus, it's like, u go out of ur class, and it's still aircon.

SHEEESH.

sighh... i'm like so sleepy. slept at 4. Was talking to the Mr last night frm 12 till 4. Nyahaha.. If he didnt say he wanna go out, i think till 6, i wont sleep siaa.. Hurhur.. Sianness.. Cant sleep ytd.. And now suffering in class wif the aircon and my sleepiness.

hurhur. and its gonna rain soon.

Today, i felt like taking pics. So, haha.. Gonna post in here. heh..

my gums are swollen.. =(


black over white


in class.


we need some warmth!!


sekkk kann.. khwakhwakhwa..






i was so cold!!

Ouhh ya. I even took a pic of the toilet. =)

its supposed to be all white but i dun get it y it turned out to look dirty.

saw a couple of familiar faces.. saw Md Noor's cousin Amin. I think I'm taller than him.

ouhh ya.. and i went to browse some websites.. got some cute pics..

heeee~ =)

cold.

it's wednesday~

ouhh yes!! I have Wednesdays free from sch.. Coz Wednesday is actually for CE and PP. So, we dun need to school on Wednesdays. Except for Ash. Wonder why hers is on Friday when me and the rest of the Pantats have ours today. Howells..

So, school started last Monday. We're using the Woodlands campus now. Will talk about that later. Have loads to complain abt that! Hurhur.

Okay so, the thing is, i'll be having the same classmates but we're using different classrooms for 3 days. Like Monday and Tuesday, we'll be having Datacommunications and Networking and Object Oriented Programming (mostly Java) and we'll be using E35C. (i keep forgeting my class.) And Wednesday no class. Thursday will be WebMultimedia at E37K and Friday will be Database Systems at E26J. It's either i have WebMultimedia on Thursday or Friday. I cant rmb. But so far, my classmates are okay lah. Better than last sem i think. Haha..

Okay then, let's talk abt the Woodlands Campus.

OMG!! It's like so irritating!! Morning, ppl will be flooding the mrt stn and everybody will be cramped at the traffic light area otw to sch. Urgh. And not to mention, the blocks are freaking far. On top of that, WE HAVE TO QUEUE FOR THE LIFT IN THE MORNING! How irritating can that be?? Totally reminds me of the Blue line queue at Sentosa. Sheesh. It sucks.

And then, the classes are so confusing to get to. A-D this side lah, I-L that side lahh.. Haiyo. And summore, the classes are WHITE!! Bo-Ring!! Not just the classes lah, toilets are painted white, white doors, white walls, staircase also white walls, white railings, white doors. And they say it's a Japanese-Zen concept. Sheeesh. I didnt even noe that there's whiteboard in the class until the Fac used it. WHITEboard. WHITE walls. Go figure.

And yeah, CANTEEN. So freaking far. And ONLY ONE canteen to cater for 6000 over students. Hurhur. Not to mention, 7-11 also freaking full. And in the end, we hafta go to Causeway Point, which is like 20 mins away to find food. Going to school is like, planning where to eat lunch and stuff. Sheesh.

Okay2... So enuff complaining about school.

Wad else do i want to talk about??

Hmm.. Well, recently got myself a new friend. But u noe, i've got a phobia of leaving. I mean, i dun want to drift apart from my own group of friends. Already as it is, we haf a hard time of meeting each other. Sigh.. I dunno.

I'm scared of drifting apart from ppl. And summore now, coz of HIM, we're drifting apart. Coz of HIS possessiveness, we have difficulty going out. It sucks! Haiz~ Suckysuckysucky.

imissyousomuch.

Okay, gg to school now for Drama. Tata~

missing you

I MISS YOU LIKE SOOO MUCHHH!

i miss like heck you noeee.

meet up soon k dear..

imissyou
imissyou
imissyou

horrible feelings

i teared when i was on my way to work.

i teared when i was working.

i cried when i finish work.

i cried when i was on the way home.

i broke down when i reached my room. (notice that i used 'my room')

i was nearly knocked down by Richard's bus at work. Maybe i was just too clouded in my own thoughts and too many ppl were getting on my nerves. Still, i just wish he could have just knock me down instead of braking very hard. I was just a few inches away from his bus.

Then again, as a friend, i dun want him to be charged and stuff.

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!

I'm sick and tired of crying. I feel like letting loose of all my sanity and just go purely insane.

i'm not strong enuff to face all this.

THANKS A FUCKING LOT DAD FOR ALWAYS PULLING DOWN MY ESTEEM, WILL, CONFIDENCE AND STRENGTH.

FUCKKK~!

i dunno where i'm gonna get the strength to pluck myself up and regain my confidence and will.
i feel so alone.

work was tough. as always, public holiday. and was raining just now, caught in the heavy rain. got myself drenched. yeah, well, i dun care if i'm gonna get sick. i might just as well be.

it scares me sometimes when i think abt this. and u noe how it can affect us. i'm just mentally prepared for the worst. but i'm not emotionally prepared. my mind's blank now.

i need time alone. but at the same time i need you. it's crap.

URGHHHH!!!

TAGGER'S REPLY~

`Ashz: Puhleeze lahh.. U're the reason y i go mad okay. hehh.. And well.. sigghh.. I dunno lah.. It's just so hard for me right now.

`Lila: Ookies.. will re-link ya soon~

`Sandy: OH MY GOD! I make u miss me and care for me.. =) So touched.. I love ya bitch~

And Ouhh Ya.

Happy 3 months baby.

life's a total bitch

sometimes, i think i have the most unluckiest life in the whole universe. and i wonder why sometimes, ppl still stick to me through thick and thin. i just feel as if i'm a burden to them.

i just feel like GIVING UP sometimes. i'm tired of this game called life.

you're the only one who gave me happiness in my life. and u're the only one who understand the pain i'm gg thru. sometimes, i feel that i burden u too much wif my problems, wif my parents. and after gg thru so much, u're still wif me. after gg thru all that, i think ppl would start running away frm me. But baby, u held on tight to me, giving me support and strength that i needed in this life.

i love you too much baby. and i'd fight for our happiness even if it means gg thru my dad.
we're in this together.
and i want you to be the last man that i could ever love.

Baby please be patient. I noe how mad u are at Him.
But baby, no matter wad, we cant change the fact that I'm still his responsibility.
I have no idea how long more we have to go thru all this.
If i have the will to make it any better for us, i will. But it's just that, i dun.

Life is a stage. My life, herh.. it reminds me of Mohabbatein.
The dad is totally strict and bof Shahrukh Khan's and Aishwarya Rai's character were deeply in love.
Which, totally reminds me of us.
And in the end, Aishwarya Rai commited suicide.

i wish it could end up that way.
But, i love u too much baby that i cant bear to leave u.

Baby please be patient and cool down.

I love you.

cranky again.

FUCKED UP!!!

URGH.

MOOD SWING.
BEING TEMPERAMENTAL AGAIN.

ARGGHHHH!

WAD THE HELL!!!

CRAPPY
CRANKY

NOT GONNA BE OKAY.

it's not about you baby, it's just me.
sometimes i worry too much if i hurt u wif wadever i say.
but baby believe me, u're the only one in my heart.
and i love u like i never love before.

you're my only one. trust me.
i dah terlup and tersyg sama u.
=)
i lup u the many2 lahhhh..

AND TO THAT "FRIEND" I USED TO BE SO CLOSE TO,
THANKS EH.
i'm not gonna bother anymore.
u hurt me these few days.
i'm not gonna care abt u anymore.

i treat u like a brother and is this how u treat me? i dunno wad the fuck is wrong wif you.
u noe wad.
as if i care~

About Me~ =)

U noe last time, in primary school, there would be this small book they call "diary" (a misuse of the word, really) and pass it ard so that ur friends can write abt themselves in that book. haha.. funny lah..

so, i decided to write ABOUT ME in my blog. nyahaha.. just for the fun of it and also, some self reflection so that i can get to noe myself better. *peace~*

Full Name: Dian Farini Bte Rusli
A.k.a: Dee, Yan, Rin and ChiCka.
Address: Blk 553 Jurong West St 42 #03-311 S'pore 640553 (nanti hari raya dtg ehk! haha)
Contact Number: erm. haha.. i think most of y'all noe lah.
School: Republic Polytechnic
Date Of Birth: 02 December 1988
Place Of Birth: Singapore General Hospital
Race: Malay/Boyanese. (confuse ah. mum's a malay, dad's a boyanese.)
Occupation: Student, Part Time Marshal at Sentosa, Daughter, Sister, Friend and Girlfriend.
Status: Blissfully Attached to Mr Jumali. =)

Fav. Food: No preferance ar. But I prefer to eat at hawker ctrs and food ctrs than expensive places. Not that i cant afford lah but just that my selera is more to local food.
Fav. Drinks: Anything lah. But non-alcoholic drinks lah. I'm no longer a drinker.
Fav. Genres: Pop Rock, Punkrock, Emopunk, Rock, Accoustic, Ballads and Jiwangs (hehh).
Fav. Bands: Nickleback, GreenDay, My Chemical Romance, Papa Roach, Yellowcard, blahh3..
Fav. Singers: Kelly Clarkson, Christina Aguilera and Avril Lavigne

Hobbies: Spend time wif the dearest ones, friends, and of coz the Mr, slacking at Sentosa, interacting wif people, pool, bowling, shopping and many more.
Interest: Mr Takuhiro. =x. hahaha. ok2.. well, Dikir Barat, Performing, Singing and urm.. yeah. haha.. can't think of anymore.

Traits:
`Temperamental: Easily upset and irritated.
`Unpredictable Mood Swings: Can be happy at one time, emotional the next.
`Neutral: I dun side wif anyone when helping wif a problem.
`Honest: I'm not a good liar. U'll noe when i lie to you.
`Crazy, Mad: Blame my friends. Especially Ash for making me insane.
`Lover: I dun fall in love easily. But once i do, i really fall hard in love.
`Patient: No matter how many times, u cheat me, i'll still keep my cool.
`Gullible: I trust ppl easily.

and blahh3...

Your Birthdate: December 2

You're so intuitive, it's like you have a sixth, seventh, and eighth sense. You connect with others freely and easily - and you tend to have many best friends. Warm and caring, it's hard for you to close your heart to anyone. Affection is like air for you - you need to give and receive it to survive. Your strength: Your universal compassion Your weakness: Your unpredictable mood swings Your power color: Mauve Your power symbol: Butterfly Your power month: February

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself You're the perfect blend of independent and caring You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

You Are a Normal Girl

You are 50% Good and 50% Bad Sure you've pulled some bad girl stunts in your past. But these days, you're (mostly) a good girl.

Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?

You Are An Intro-Extrovert!

Sometimes you're social - sometimes you're shy You've got a bit of an Introvert / Extrovert split going on You enjoy all sorts of situations. Parties, small groups, and alone time. Too much of one, and you'll long for the other. You need varity! Chances are, you've got both serious and fun friends - and they don't get along.

Are You An Extrovert or Introvert?

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

haha.. bored..

that's all i guess.

So now u guys noe more abt me. yesh.
=)

toodles~

*lalala~*

terlup same2

Saturday did made me feel a lot better. =)

And i watched my first M18 movie.. Even though i'm not 18 yet.. Ahakz.. We went to watch ULTRAVIOLET. The show was great lah. Loadsa fighting here and there but the animations are not my kinda thing. It's like too sci-fi. Think Matrix.

But before that!!
Gawsshh~

He brought me home to see his mum. Sheeesh. Like as if that day, meeting his bro and sis and bro and sis-in-laws werent bad enuff. I was totally red that day that i couldnt even talk. ahakz.. and meeting mum would be.. urmm.. ahaha..

But it went okay lah. His mum was attending to his niece most of the time, so she didnt really have time to talk to me, which was a lil bit of relief to me. heh.. But she reminds me of my late grandma. =)

okay so after that went to watch Ultraviolet and then went to Comfort Driving Ctr. Then we took the bus frm the wrong side of the road and we ended up at Hougang. (Hougang's sooo boring)

so den we took NEL, ahhaha.. and we ended up at Harbourfront.

And i really appreciate wadever we talked about on the train and at Harbourfront Mall. And can see that we actually grew a lil closer and noe each other better just by talking abt experiences. =)

and somehow, we ended up at Sentosa. Ahakz.. Yalahh me lah. I lurve slacking at Sentosa. Hehe..

Okayy den after that, went home.

So that's basically about it abt Saturday.

But i'm like so pissed lahh today coz Chua forced me to work on Friday. And Friday, i'm supposed to go Sentosa wif him. ERRRGGHH~!!

fed up.

hmmm.. things at home are not gg as well as usual. howells, it was never well in the first place. i just hate the way things are at home.

whatever.

okay well.. tts it.. gonna sleep now.. ciao y'all.

shopping!!

mum woke me up at 10- AGAIN.

for the 3rd day in a row.
urrrgghh.
let me sleep laahh.

sheesh.

den went to jurong point wif her.
bought this white top at Giordano.
bought Mondo pumps.
den went to eat TOMYAM (sluuurrps~) at Banquet.

So den, we went to fetch my bro and went home.

And i went out again to meet Ash and her friend Salbiah to accompany them to Acer. Den met Sandy, and me and Ash went to Great World City to meet her parents. After that we went to watch Insideman (direct translate would be Orang Dalam. hahakz..) It's a great show lah. Should watch it. But the motion was a bit nauseating.

Den reached home at 1015. Msged the Mister at about 1040 like that.. And called him.. Talk until 1210..

okaay so now, blogging.. den wash my face den sleep. haha... must meet the Mister at 9 am tmr.. Heh..

Okay so wad was it that i wanted to blog abt this morning? The one i told Farah to read my nx post..

ouhh. about the girls thingy.

yeah like i was saying the other day.

i just had the idea of how girls should behave. Its like, lemah lembut but at the same point, berani. Brave in a sense that they can defend themselves when wronged and not show that they're weak.

I get freaking fed up when girls shout at each other when they talk. it's like so.. unsightly lah. like, who do u think u r sey.. it's like so boyish lah.. I can't stand girls who wear cap also for no reason. So kentallish.

haha.. when it comes to me, i have loads of comments about girls nowadays lah. and i'm trying NOT to be like girls nowadays.

I am Dian Farini.
I'm just a simple girl.
With principles and rules in life.

toodles~

*lalala~*

Jiwangy

been listening to this song the whole day.
Cinta 3 Segi/Perangkap.
Same song la actually. My friend wrote it.

bertahun sudahku menunggu dirimu,
akhirnya kau menjadi milik ku
bukan nya untukku melupakan mu
kerna kau ku cintai selalu

tapi sayang kehadiran kekasih lama mu,
tak akan kembali mengenang cinta dahulu.

mengapa ini semua harus berlaku,
apakah ini semua kerna diriku
sedangkan aku cuma watak dalam percintaan
tk sangup aku melepaskan mu

kau ibarat terperangkap di tengah lautan
tk tahu mana arah utk kau menuju

andai kau pinta untuk melepaskan mu terpaksa aku turutkan
jika ini suatu pengajaran di dalam percintaan

okay2.. sorry it had to be jiwang lah.

ahakz..

things have been troubling me dis few days.
till i feel like picking up a stick or 2 again.
but i promise myself. no more sticks.

i just hope saturday will make me feel better.

aniway, meeting the pantats tmr. actually one only lah.
Meeting Ash tmr. Accompanying her to Acer.
Then, we'll go play pool at Clementi.

Okay2.. So now, hmmm..

Serious topic.. Haha.. It's like, i'll have a serious topic to talk about everytime i blog..
heh..

Love.

Love is beautiful. Love hurts.

Really, does everything in life evolve ard love? People keep talking about love, how they're deprive of it, and that they're single. And those attached will be complaining about their problems wif love and stuff.

Ppl keep asking. Wad Is Love?

Don't u guys ever get it? There is no way to define love. Love is universal and it's to broad to be defined. Love happens and u just noe when it does.

temperamental yet again.

will blog again later.

temperamental.

I'M STRESSED OUT!!

Ask me why.

Why?

I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA.

I have no freaking idea y i'm being so TEMPERAMENTAL.
It's like i get fucked up for just a small matter.

Ergghh.
Bloody network

nothing fun happend today.

I ONLY HAD 3 HRS OF SLEEP.
go figure.

CRANKY.

Anw, have u ever had the kind of feelings when someone's right in front of u, u take everything for granted and u diss them like no one's business?
But when they're away, u realise that u actually need them and miss their company?

Well.. I'm feeling that way. But it's for a good friend.
*where ever u are, i'll miss bullying u pakcik.*

I need to talk abt a serious topic.
haha..
Like i feel the need to.
ahaha..

hmmm..

*thinking hard*

ouhhk.

i've actually made up my mind to quit RepFus3. RP Tarian Group lah that is.

Well, it's just that i've been thinking to quit a long time ago. But just that i need CCAs lah. But now that i've joined CAPtivate and Sry Dylaila gonna be officialised in RP, that's gonna be more work for me.

=)

planning to quit tarian and focus on dikir.

yessah.

okay that should be all.

toodles~

*lalala~*

utter boredom.

it's like 430 am!! haha..
still not asleep.
how the heckk do u make me go asleep?

sheesh.

okay, so i've changed my blogskin~
yayy!!

and darlinggg~ i was only kidding when i said i got bored of the old skin becoz u were in it. haha..
kidding lahh.
<3

okay another thing, dis template is not really filled wif his pics. the reason is.. coz i dun want to publish his pics so much laahh.
haha.. he never publish my pics in his friendster.
the only pic of me that u can see in his profile is my testimonial.
haha.

but it doesnt mean that i love him less okay.

anddd~ errgghh.
just so worried lah these few days.
fear of losing??

i dunno~
haish~

it's like, i dun want to be the way that ppl say, "when u get the good guy, u're the bitch, and u when u get the bastard, u're the victim"

that kind. i dun want to!!
i'm not a bitch anymore. not a flirt anymore.

leave me alone guys!! ergghh.

i just want HIM.
Jumali Bin Haron.
ONLY HIM.

okay2.. sorry for the mushy part.
cant bear to lose someone like him lah.
must change myself a lil bit.
in ways which, i noe.

ouhh gawd. i saw an old pic of him wif a grp of ppl frm his wrkplace. saw fadly his friend too. guess where i saw it??
AM Bitch's gallery.
hurhur.
so it's THAT girl from Alexandra. No wonder so familliar.
Well, she certainly made some controversies at AM.
Sheesh.
I dun like her.
I mean, whatever u and the guy chat wif, tts strictly ur business.
u dun haf to tarnish the guy's name.
And Likewise, guy dun haf to tarnish girl's name.
Ouhh Puhhleeze.
Stop being immature.
And THINK for once.
ppl got reputation and maruah too u noe.


well, out of sheer boredom, i'll try to type about something serious. haha..

i've always had this mentality that girls should be lemah lembut and not crude or rude in any way. Wad more rowdy? Or maybe a srikandi attitude would be preferable. never give up attitude. internal strength. yadayadayada.

and u see girls nowadays, shouting to their friends like as if the friend is at the other end, when, in fact, they're just in front. Screaming those vulgarities in the faces. it's just, unsightly. don't you think so?

long gone were those days where u see soft spoken, shy and gentle, benign girls. sigghh. whatever happen to society?

*cant wait till Saturday laa. *

*want him so badd~*

sick again~

i just feel like giving up sometimes.

i'm sicker that i imagined.

and i still feel bad for not going to work ytd and telling them last minute that i was sick.
i was supposed to do Cable Car wif Uncle Zul.
but i was so sick that i cant even get up.

i dunno wad else to do.
i dunno if the medicine that i've been taking is even working.
been coughing out blood as well.
gawdd..

i dunno wad's wrong wif me.
i cant eat well.
been vomitting a lot.
very2 weak.
haishh.

and sandy ah.
thanks ahh..
still can ask me if i wanna go clubbing.
haha.
i dun club la.

haish~

dunno wad to do lah.

no one else comes close

okay.

somebody pls help me wipe off the smile off my face. i cant stop smiling and laughing since just now. haha..

i've been reading conversation histories of me and his darlingness.

It started out wif www.anakmelayu.com.

that's where i got to noe him.

den we went on to chat at msn.
and those times..
so cute and funny..
haha..

and i remembered the first time we met.
oh my god.
Ash would've screwd me if she was there.
i was like so bloody shy.
cant even look straight at his face.
haha.

and wad more when he ask me to be his girl.
kaoz.
i turned red like beetroot.
haha.

but till this day,
i've never regretted once being wif him.

he's never hurt me deliberately.
he's always been there for me when i really need him.

and plus point,

he's the first one who's brave enuff to meet my dad.

yeahh..
my mum told me the night when i was at the hospital.

she said that my dad said.. "Berani dier dtg kat hospital. Ayah tak payah nak carik dier. Dier sendiri yg datang kat ayah.'

okay, which means, "He's brave to come here (hospital). I (Dad) dun need to look for him. He came here by himself to me."

den my mum said, "Alahh... Dulu pun ibu kene pukul dgn mak pun ayah dtg rescue ibu pe.. Nie Rin kene masuk hospital, takkan dier tak boleh dtg?"

meaning.. "Last time i was hit by my mum and u came to my rescue wad.. Now ur daughter's being hospitalised, dun tell me he cant come?"

yeahh..

hahakz.. well, so far Dad hasnt said anything about that to me.

but, okay, back to my topic.

sometimes, i do feel that i'm being demanding towards him. like i wanna meet and stuff.
but i feel that ive cut down on that a lot.
now i leave it to him when he wanna meet.
hahakz...

and its just that...
sometimes, i hate myself for having too many guy friends.
if i can get jealous over such a small thing like some girl kept asking abt him,
wad more him when i have loads of guy friends.

okay2..
i rmb wad my mum used to say.

"He may not say it. But deep inside he may have felt it"

that got me thinking.

haishh~

and to that someone, if u're reading this, and if u realise that i'm not like i used to, i'm really sorry. i get insecure. i just need some boundaries and i am attached and i love him so. i'm just confuse. i treat u like a friend only. hope u understand yah.

okayy2..

reflection time!!

thing is...

i've never met someone who love me so much as he does.
i've never been in a relationship as meaningful and slacky as this. ahakz..
i've never had so much fun in a relationship as this.

and...
i've never found someone who's so serious abt as he is.

okay laahh.. tak bleh puji byk2...
hahakz..

coz relationship is not just about being up and happy.

there are also downfalls and heartaches.

for me, luckily we can overcome the downfalls together..
i'm happy enuff wif that.

i noe i've changed since i've met him.
some stuff, which, i noe and u guys dun hafg to noe.. =)

AND...

I'M NO LONGER SMOKING!!

heh... yes.. finally quit smoking..

no thanks to him actually. haha..
org nak quit bukannye nak motivate..
hahaha..

but i've done it out of my freewill.

yeahh..

it's a new month.
April.
=)

gonna be 3 mths in 2 wks.

hehekz..

i love my man.

mwuachz.