work sucked

i blew up today, like i dunno how many times mann~

sheesh. blame all those banglas and china ppl. hurrrr..

sucked sucked sucked.

today was worse than yesterday. and i'm sure tmr's gonna be worse than today. dayyymnn...

howells.. today.. took pics.. nyahahas.. =)

And i'm not speaking to Magesh until he stops bullying me. hmph!

Had fun working wif Adik just now. hahakz.. he's nuts.

Soooo~ Pix!!

hahakz..

Ouhh ya.. That's Adik.. Haha.. He's a yr younger~ wheee.. haha.. bully bully~

Then, b4 work, i actually went to the Sentosa flowers thingy.. Then i saw DEE~ haha.. Dee V'lock uhh~ She's wrking for the Sentosa flowers.. HAHA. Cute wings ahh Dee.. Nyahaha.. So i took a couple of flower pics.. nice ahh~ but i think it's the same as last yr's exhibition.. Nth much ahh~

o

okayy.. tts all the pics i have.. aha.. not edited okayy~ only resized lahh~

And i'm in love wif DAISIES. =)

Cancel me out part 2

2nd time in a wk.

thanks a lot!

pix~!

just got back from gg out wif ma family~
gawshhh~
i was like a small kid at the playground @ pasir ris park..
haha. played the swings and the merry go round disc thingy.
and i took emo pics~ haha..

Cool aye.. hahakz.. i loike the first one.. There's my reflection on it.. Looks as if i did some effect on it but i didnt okayy~ aha..

Ok then i took pics yesterday in class.. And it looked so JAP. omg.. haha..

Cute kannn~ hehehe..

okkk.. gonna go sleep alreadyy~

ciaoo~

Cancel me out~

Gawd i miss Him.

It's been 5 days since i last met him. We havent been talking. But yesterday he msged me at night.. Den i called him up.. And finally we talked~ Den talked to his friends..

Okk.. U guys shld have listened to my conversation wif his friends

Them: Wad's ur name?
Me: Dian
Them: Huhh? Yan? Like a guy's name sia.. (and i was like, herh~ i oso got one gf name Yan wadd... rigght Yannn? haha..)
Them: Where u stay?
Me: Jurong
Them: Which blk?
Me: 999
Them: Seriously lahhh~
Me: Serious ahhh~
Them: NTI ehk?
Me: Uhh.. Ya..

AND THEY BELIEVED ME IN THE END~ lol..
And we were like crapping ahhh abt Mak Nyahs and stuff.. Lol..

Okk.. Back to him~

We're supposed to meet today and Saturday. But.. He cancelled this morning~

Gee.. Like, i've been cancelling and being cancelled on this whole week.
Monday, i heard someone said got tarian. Den i asked Suhaila, she said dun haf tarian.
Tuesday, i was supposed to go out wif Eijal at Esplanade, but i cancelled and went home wif Aiman.. Aiman came to RP frm SP just to fetch me and then sent me home. Coz he was on the way to his friend's place near mine..
Wednesday, was supposed to meet Fadhil at Esplanade.. But he cancelled. But then he smsed again and then met him at Yishun.
Thursday, was supposed to go out wif Mr Takuhiro. But he cancelled coz of i-dunno-wad..

Still hoping that he would msg and say he can make it today~ Sigggh~

I'm sleepy~Ergghh~

So not in the mood. Early morning already kena cancelled on. Sheeeesh~

Boreeeedddd~

i'm happy if u're happy

I just had a chat wif someone from the past..

Maybe it's just me. I just dun hate ppl no matter how much they've hurt me. All that hurting was in the past.. And i just dun wanna remember it anymore..

And now, he's got himself a girl.. And i'm happy that he's moved on wif his life.. I noe he still loves me and thinks of me at times.. I noe him well.. 5 mths wif him really makes me know him all too well.. When he was wif me, he still loves his ex.. Sigh.. It may take some time for him to love his new girl wif all his heart..

I'm just sorry that we can never be together again.. Maybe it wasnt destined for us to be together.. But i do hope u noe that we'll be friends. really good ones if u want to. And whatever that we've chat just now, i just appreciate whatever u've felt and said..

and.. i'm happy if u're happy..

Still..

I mish Ma Mister Takuhiro sho bad~ We havent been talking much coz he's bz working.. But it was nice of him to pop by msn last night just to chat wif me awhile.. But then i kinda diss him off coz he hasnt been contacting me.. I felt bad uhh~ like i was being demanding.. sigghh~ and he hasnt contact me today..

Suckyyy..

I mish Ma Mr Takuhiro.

arggghh

fuck.

depressed.

not in the mood.

totally my fault.

dun wanna lose someone like euuu.

one of the days when my mood swing totally sucked.

baby i'm sorry.. sorry for being demanding~ sorry for not understanding~

so it's just a small thing.. but i still feel bad..

i just love u so much that it hurts

and IT JUST PRACTICALLY SUCKS THAT I CANT STAND SILENCE.

ergghhh~

I LOVE U.. BELIEVE ME. I DO..

Valentine

Yes i noe its not Valentines yet.. But i'm in lurve wif that song..
Especially these 2 verses..

All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes

And showed me how to love unselfishly
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time...
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

I'm starting a new life.. U guys noe how hard life has been for me.. Always getting hurt and cheated and stuff.. And now, wif Him in my life, somehow, i have a feeling that life will change for me..

So, i just wanna change my ways.
No more ciggies.
No more lies.
No more ego.
NOT gonna be naughty anymore.

Just wanna be a good girl. Hahaha..

And Edry wants me to change too.. Not that i'm compromising to him lahh.. But more like, I realize that i've made a lot of mistakes in the past and that i dun ever wanna make those mistakes ever again.. Tts why i've been running away from all those guys..

And now that i've met him, i just wanna stay wif him.. He proved to me that he was different and I love him for that.. And i just wanna be wif him for as long as I can..

*1 wk already*

I went to anakmelayu.com just now.. Took a look at one of the guys i've dated then..

Tommy Kaira.. Didnt noe his name untill now.. It's Ali.. I knew him as Celop.. Ok lahh.. He's cute.. Part time model.. Definitely a hunk.. But, he's a wanker.. Geez.. I cant stand all the whinings from him.. He's definitely one of the guys whom i'm running away from.. Not that i'm scared or what.. Just that, i've had enuff of my past.. i dun want to be that girl who's unsure of her life and was lost in life wif no directions and always being cheated and hurt by guys.. Ali, he's the typical CD guy..

I dun wanna go back to the life that i had b4 u.. i'm sick and tired of crying.. i just wanna be loved..

I'm just happy that i met u..

Now baby, do u noe why i treasure u and never gonna let you go?

Missing People

Exhausted~

Just came back from meeting Him.. =)

Okay so, early in the morning, Sandy msged me and said that she was skipping school.. And she asked me along so we could go shopping.. ok cool.. skipping school means, i dun have to do computing today.. which is totally fine.. haha..

Reached Shaw House Mac at 915 am.. Den ate breakfast till 10.. And after tt we decided to go to the movies.. So, we watched Cheaper By A Dozen 2.. It was funny uhh.. TOM WELLING IS HOTT~ Ahakz..

Den he called me up.. He said to meet earlier.. Okay ahh.. So met him at 4.. Before that Sandy accompanied me to shop for Maz's bday present.. And i finally bought her dis Adidas handbag which cost like $25.. It was nice lahh.. After that I went to meet him and Sandy went home coz she didnt want to wait in town for her bf..

And den, me and Him went to Robinson to look for my mum's bday present.. I was like, so stress lahh.. dunno wad to buy for her.. Den, went to Bugis Village.. And i finally bought this maroon coloured mat bag..

Ok so, after that we went to Changi Village.. From one village to another village.. Like WADDEHELL LAH. The bus was so packed.. Den the bus journey was soooo DAMN long.. I think abt 1hr plus ahh.. Ergghh.. Worst bus ride EVER.

After that we went to Changi Beach and just sat down there and we played that hand game where u have to thumb down the other person's thumb.. Haha.. I WON~! heh.. quite strong aye.. Stayed there till ard 9 plus.. And then we took the bus back to Tampines, den he went down at Bedok, and i went down at Jrg East.. Reached home at 1130 pm just nw..

*miss him already*

aniway, i'm missing a couple of ppl actually.. Especially my abg angkat Edry.. Havent seen him online nowadays and like, we're drifting apart ahh.. Last time, we'll always chat and he'll sometimes call me and ask how i am.. Now, i dun even see him online.. The last time we chat, it was abt something serious ah.. And he was quite... Disappointed i guess..

EDRYYYY~ WHERE ARE U?? I MISS YOUUUU~~

Yeahh.. Tts all i wanna say.. OOOOOHH YAA..

HAPPY 39th BDAY MUMMY DEAREST~!!

Truly Madly Deeply

Okay, well, if u guys are wondering, me and her solve things out and we're okay now.. Yeah.. Just forgive and forget lah..

Anihoos.. After school, I met HIM!! He came to Redhill at 640 after work. Luckily he's working at Queenstown area seyy.. If not it'll be hard for us to meet.. Siggh.. I mish him so much seyy..

So, okay, met at Redhill.. Den we sat down at the void deck of one of the blocks at Redhill.. And, he said. "I've got something to give you.."

And i was like, okayy... And he took out this pinkish red plastic and THERE WAS A PRESENT INSIDE! OMG.

And i took out the wrapper, and THERE WAS A PINK COLOUR BOX!! And i opened the box.. THERE WAS A SILVER NECKLACE WIF A PINK COLOUR HEARTSHAPED DIAMOND THING.

Omg~ That was like soooo sweet of him.. Argghh~ Love him sooo muchhhh~ Thank euuu hunnyy~

After that we just spent some time together till 830 b4 we went back home..

Oh my GAWDD~ My wish came true.. All along, i've been wishing for someone who really really loves me.. And now i found him.. And i'm never ever letting go..

Baby, you asked me why i love u..
And i told u, coz u're different from the other guys i've known..
Yes you are.. U're different.. U're special..
You're just too nice to me baby..
Your Love is my courage..
Your Love is my will..
Because you loved me..
And now i'm loving u.. With all my heart..
I've never found someone so special in my life. Tts the truth baby.
No more lies. I'm telling the truth now.
That I could never love anyone else better than I love you.
I LOVE YOU.
WILL ALWAYS WILL.

Truck loads of Love,
ChiCka

Such As.. Drifting Apart and Meeting New People.

* Hearts *

To the wonderful being who made me believe in love again...

I just want you to noe that it's been real great noeing u and i wouldnt dream of cheating on you or making you feel less loved that u should be loved.. I'm yours.. All yours.. Believe in baby that i would love no other than you.. Because u're my everything from now on..

Love,

ChiCka

Okay well... Finally the show is over... Now i can go home early everyday.. Yessah... But.. It's not just about enjoying that the show is over.. The aftermath of the Show still lingers.. And it's quite upsetting as well..

Me and Her. We were damn freaking close. Not just best friends. But sisters. However, it just didnt seem that way during Drama. To me, she's like this person who's my best friend but she's NOT during Drama. I was being ordered around. K fine. I was being pushed aside. Hey. No prob. And the worst thing was: HEY. I WAS BEING IGNORED. BY MY OWN FRIEND. SHEESH.

It's not about popularity. Coz i have some good friends at drama. But it's more like, she met new people who has the same interest as her, who belongs in the same, hmm, race as her and she chided me aside. I dun care if she wants to be friends wif them but she doesnt have to push me aside right?

During the whole Cleo-not-being-at-rehearsals thing, yeah sure, she took in charge.. K fine.. I had nothing to say to that coz she was the dance expert. So i just kept quiet and just tried to work along no matter how pissed off i was because i just felt like i was being ordered around. And after i listened to her side of the story the next day, i thought, what the hell right, she had no choice but to be like that.. AND I ACTUALLY GAVE IN.

But it seems like things werent getting better. And we were practically like strangers. Even Leanna noticed it. I was beginning to talk to her less. And when she came up to me, i dun feel like talking to her at all. Coz i practically feel that i dun even noe her anymore.

And the performance day came, she wasnt there. I didnt noe about it till someone else told me.. K fine. The next day, she turned up.. She was looking everywhere for someone to do make-up on her and i was standing right in front of her, and she didnt even ask me.. NOT UNTIL I MADE MYSELF NOTICEABLE THAT I CAN DO MAKE UP. WHAT THE FUCK!

And the way she talked to me, it was as if that i was sucha total stranger to her. OH WADDEHELL. AND OH YA. I READ THE TAGS THAT YOUR FRIEND TAGGED. AND FRANKLY. NO COMMENTS.

Love And Feelings

Just felt like updating today..

Been sick the whole day.. Woke up at 7pm just now.. Den went to Harbourfront to grab a bite wif my family.. Ahakz.. I miss Harbourfront.. And Sentosa too.. heh..

Well.. I noe i've not been blogging like the way i used to blog.. I mean, i used to blog about my feelings and stuff.. But recently, its like, i've been blogging about my daily activities and such.. sighh..

It's been kinda hard for me to fall in love again.. Coz of what i've gone thru in the past.. Everytime i fall in love, i get disappointment in the end.. Phobia.. I'm sick of all those short term relationship.. Just a few days, den break.. Crappy uhh.. Like, geee.. I oso got feelings siaa.. Of coz, i dun cry about it laa but it hurts to lose the one u love..

But i dun deny that i want to be loved.. I mean, who doesnt right?? But i just havent found the right one i guess.. Okay well, not exactly the RIGHT one.. But someone who really love me as much as I love him.. Who really2 cares for me and stuff..

I learnt my lesson. Never ever to go on a relationship wif a guy i have not met.. Coz in the end, confirm it wont last..

Haizz..

I'm unsure of my feelings right now.. Haiz..

If i give my heart to u, will u promise to take care of it? U're different from all the guys i've known. Yes, u're such a sweetheart.. i'm really looking forward to meet u.. U've been the one who's been filling my empty nights.. Sigh.. I dunno wad i'm feeling either..

"there's something in me.."

*winks*

Woah-ism.

Ok well, that day's dikir barat performance was A BLAST!! I mean, okay lahh.. I terlepas clap and my pants and samping were wet.. but.. IT WAS STILL GREAT. THANK EUU ADIRATNA!!

So.. PICS! (Adiratna girls are CAM HOGGERS by the way.... hahakz..)

Nadiah And Me

Su, Nadia, Me

Nadia, Illya, Dee

Dylaiticas: Tina, Nadiah, Me

Well.. yeahh.. It was great performing wif them.. Seriously.. But now, its back to Sry Dylaila..

Yesterday. Was one heck of a day for me..

So after school, Jae decided to treat me to Sakae Sushi. So we went to Wheelock Place. And when i was entering Wheelock, someone bumped into me. I turned. He was so familiar but i just forgot his name.

Den he said: Kevin laa

And i screamed. And the whole Coffee Bean at Wheelock looked at me.. Hahaha.. KEVINDREN NAIDU! One of my primary school bestest guy friends. He's like, 1 1/2 head taller than me. And he still looked the same. OMG! hahakz.. And we did some catching up ah.. He said he was working at the Coffee Bean there.. Wooh.. ahah..

Den after Sushi, me and Jae went back to school, she went for her emcee meeting, i went for Drama.. DRAMA SUCKED YESTERDAY OKAY! it was the first time i hated rehearsal so much. erghh.. Due to some reasons. Daymnn..

Went home, there was a kenduri at my place and i wasnt really in the mood. So, i went to my room and switched my lappy on when someone called me. And it was.. EIJAL. AKA MR BONCET. omgg.. It's been such a long time since he contacted me. And he was telling me that he broke up wif his gf and stuff.. and began telling me his problems laa.. I just layankan je lah..

Den that time, my ex, Farizan, msned me.. Den i just chat laaa...

Den while talking to Eijal, someone else called. And i swapped.. And guess wad?? AYUL CALLED. So, i just put down the fon wif Eijal and talked to Ayul uhh..

And Ayul was really nice yesterday. He said he missed me and stuff.. Awww shucks.. I just cant hate him.. Dunno y..

Okay well.. Tts all for yesterday i guess. Going out later for Hari Raya Haji thingy.. So, Selamat Hari Raya Haji to all..

=)

TAGGERS REPLY!

Hi-Kerl: Insya Allah. I'll work on it.

Lil Ti: Ahakz.. Thanks darling.. Just hope i can maintain it. I changed my blog song already la..

m0nkee: wahh.. first time m0nkee saying she miss me siaa.. hahaha..

Fida: oohh.. thankiu.. hahakz.. i loike ur blog tooo...

PatPat: Really lo.. U never talk to me already.. BLUEK. U IGNORING ME LOR..!! muahahaha..

droolS: Ahakz.. thanks dudette.. the show was great maan..

Hi-Kerl: Slamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha to u too maaan..

END.

Sigh~

meow~

hahakz.. okay.. i didnt noe y i wanted to type that down.. haha..

Well, been feeling fucked up lately.. But dun worry, i'll be fine..

SHOW TODAY!!

Ouhh sheesh.. I'm like so nervous uhh.. I just learnt the ragam and juara part yesterday.. And i sucked at the practice.. Especially wau bulan nye part.. grrr..

i wished u knew how much i love u.
i wished u'd hold me in ur arms again.

i cry thinking of u baby.
i'm missing u so bad.
i just want u back.

please come back baby.
i need u so..

With Love,
ChiCka

New Year New Life: Flashback on 2005

Ahakz.. Yeahh.. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!

Okay, 2005.. Was one heckk of a year for me..

~Got retrenched in March.. Monorail gone~!!! *wails*
~Got into RP in April
~Went on wif Farizan on April 24
~Declared Silent Break wif Farizan on May 15.
~Went on wif Ayul on May 21
~Got back to work in Sentosa as Marshall in June
~1st theatre work: Redhill Blues in July
~Hospitalized in August
~Broke up wif Ayul on September 1
~1st Malay Dance performance: RepFus3 @ Civic Ctr on September 16
~1st Hiphop Dance performance: Hip Hop IG Recruitment Drive September 17
~Patched up wif Ayul on September 29
~Broke up wif Ayul on October 17
~1st Dikir Barat performance: Sry Dylaila DeepaRaya Show on November 8
~Went on wif Lutfi and broke up in November. Not sure when though..
~1st Clan meeting: Dylaitica Meeting on November 11
~Happy 17th!!: 2nd December 2005
~Went on wif Md Nor on December 05
~Declared Silent Break wif Md Nor on December 13
~Went on wif Ridzuan aka Chickanos on December 24
~Broke up wif Chickanos on December 25th
~Got to noe Zaki on December 24th
~Met Zaki on December 26th
~Met Zaki on December 28th

So, yeahh... Those are the highlights of 2005 in my life... Mostly, i think that the relationship i had wif Ayul is the one that made me stronger and motivated me a lot in life.. So, in December, i haf like, 2 exes... hurrr.. And i had quite a number of performances last year.. Which was totally cool..

RESOLUTIONS.

So for this year, i'm hoping that i can come do more shows for Sry Dylaila or RepFus3 (kalau ade motivation uhh.. haha)

Haf a meaningful relationship wif ONE guy. Not 2 or 3.. But ONE. *winks*

To be a calmer and wiser person. As my colleagues would say, "CHICKA! U'RE 17 ALREADY OKAYY!! HAIYAA.. ACG!"

Not to skip school so much.

Be more responsible

AND

STOP SMOKING!!!

ahakz.. yeahh.. tts it..

Okay.. I'm done wif my resolutions..

Ciao!!

whooo wheeee

YESSSAAAAHHHH!!!

END OF MARSHALL WORK. NO MORE MARSHALL WORK FOR ME FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS.. HURRR...

Howlls, been working from last Sunday to Monday straight.. Hish.. Tired siakk.. I was quiet arh today.. Maybe coz my kakis were at different places.. Ahakzz.. But then i took the chance to cam-whore here and there.. hehh..

@ Dolphin Lagoon

In The Van

Eric n Me. He's a driver btw..

Me and Vickkkkyyyyy!!!

Thevan n Me

Magesh, Me, Muthu..

Huahuahua... So basically, i got bullied a lot by the 4 of them.. Idiot! Peacock.. They called me ACG.. Act Cute Girl.. Hurhur.. But okay larh.. They called me ChiCka also.. hehhhe..

Okay well, so far been bz wif sch and work.. Luckily Zaki understands all that.. I mean, we want to meet up and stuff.. But then, it's like so difficult even though we stay near each other.. He's working and i'm working.. we barely haf time... haizz.. no news abt him today.. his prepaid low.. and just waiting for 2 am.. tts when he usually calls me.. haizz..

*missing him loads*