JANGKIT

You Would Choose Money

You know that love doesn't always last forever - but money can. Why bother with jealousy, petty fights, and hurt feelings? You rather just go shopping! And while marrying for money may be lonely, you'll always be well dressed, well traveled, and well fed.

Would You Choose Love or Money?

You Are Very Happy Being Single

You're not anti-relationship. You just don't need one to be content. You find plenty of happiness from your life as it is. And if you find someone you love, then that's just icing on an already decadent cake!

Are You Happy Being Single?

Your Personality Profile

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?

You Are 95% Burned Out

You are extremely burned out. You work too hard, and you're not getting the results you deserve. It's time for a life change, as soon as you can manage it. You're giving away most of your energy to something you don't even enjoy.

Are You Burned Out?

You Are Really Not Happy

You may have noticed that things aren't going too well for you lately. Your life never used to be like this, but it seems like happiness is slipping away from you. You definitely need a change, because whatever you have going on isn't working. It's time for you to shake things up - even if it means totally changing your life path.

How Happy Are You, Really?

HAHA.

Damn bored lah can? Geez.. Jangkit survey from the Endang girls. Lolz..

Anyway, training has been really intensive these few days. But the girls have been doing great.. I'm really proud of them actually. At least they take the initiative to learn.

And there're a few, who.. kinda disappoint me abit. Let's not mention names. But, i really do not appreciate people who are not humble and don't take iniative. And, please remember, you're not experienced, you gotta ask and learn. And, i hate know-it-alls. When someone teach, you listen. And try to improve. Don't say you can do it and still, give the same.

Okay, need to go for meeting. Ciao.

grrr.

seriously. i cried teared.

how idiotic can someone be? telling me that he's migrating and never coming back. and how idiotic can it be, when that someone, is the one you love?

and can u imagine the whole situation which i thought?

"someone you love is going to migrate and never coming back."

bitch.

its enuff already that i lost him emotionally. i'm not gonna lose him physically. not anymore.

and i teared, wanting to cry but luckily i was in class, so i couldnt. and was just sms-ing with him, trying to make him stay, and i gave up.. and i said, well okay, gd luck in your future then.

and he msged me back saying he was bored and it was just a prank.

URGGGGGHH!!!

dearest, i just don't know how to tell you that i still love you. and it's been 3 months. and i still cant forget about you. you used to say, "maybe ade hikmah di sebalik ape yg terjadi kat kite.." hikmah aper? all i'm feeling is hurt. all i'm getting is loneliness.

i love you so much that it hurts.

LALALA

guess what?

i'm bored. financial accounting class sucks. i am so not gonna take it again. in the mean time, haha. i'm gonna do loads of blogthings stuff.

You Are 77% Perfectionist

You are a true perfectionist. You are both demanding of yourself and others. While it's great to have goals and standards, they don't need to be sky high!

Are You a Perfectionist?

You Are 76% Open Minded

You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out! Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand. You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting. You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

You Are Low Maintenance

Otherwise known as "too good to be true" You're one laid back chica - and men love that! Just remember that no good guy likes a doormat. So if you find your self going along to get along... Stop yourself and put up a little bit of a fight.

Are You A High Maintenance Woman?

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Picky

You have no problem attracting guys - and even dating a little It's just around second or third date time where you start to see faults If a guy isn't near perfect, you're not into him. It's good to have standards - but yours rule almost everyone out.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

okay, i'm getting tired of doing surveys. haha.

the last survey is kinda true i guess. i'm picky when it comes to guys. hurhurhur. it's like, everytime i know someone, i tend to find faults, and see his imperfections and then, just leave em stranded. coz my expectation of someone is kinda high i guess. but the thing is, if i don't feel right for the guy, how can we even be in a relationship?

enuff about that.

yet again, i was lectured by abang zaid.

he asked, "so how's your studies going on? are you focusing more on your studies or your dikir?"
and i sheepishly said, "dikir"

and yeah, thats how the lecture came about. i came to school only once last week. i couldnt wake up. blah2.. and he said, if i don't start focusing on school, he's gonna make me stop dikir. wadderr.. haiiz..

i seriously miss a whole bunch of people.

i miss my smoking khakis in Adiratna.


I MISS FAZLIANA TETEK. I MISS SHIDAH. I MISS NADIA (of course, Nadia's not in Adiratna).

I MISS MY DRAMA MATES.

I MISS MY COUSIN DIANA VANDERH.

I MISS NOURU, JALILAH, RIDZ AND RUBY.

I MISS AISYAH AND SHAE.

I MISS JAY-JAY.

I MISS THE BULLDOZER.

2nd LASTLY,

I MISS MY PANTATS!


and lastly,

I MISS LEANNA JAZZ AND KHAIRUL!!!



HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY LEANNA!

THE SHOWGIRL AND MONA LISA.

missing them all.

missing

there was this point of my life.

i was in love with this boy after suffering from a major breakdown of a previous relationship. this boy had a great sense of humour. this boy was my world at that point of time. he was my everything.

but then again, the boy wasnt mine. but i was really in love with him. he was there each time i needed him. he was there each time i got hospitalised. he was there, each time.

but up to a point, he was gone. and he came back with a news. he loved this other girl. broke my heart to a million pieces. and the girl, was a friend of mine.

trust me, the feeling sucks. while chatting with him, i'd cry like mad. he doesnt know. and to him, he gotta turn to me for problems because he's already treated me like a close friend, and furthermore, i knew the girl he loved.

and as a friend, and admirer, i just wanna see him happy.

and i'd advice him, and tell him how to win her heart, but, it broke my heart to do that. but i kept on doing it. well, sadly, he still didnt win her heart coz apparently, some things happend.

what amazed me was that, i had the courage. to love in silence, without him knowing all the while that i loved him and that i could still give him advices on how to win her heart, when his heart was the one which i wanted so badly.

i didnt know where i found the strength, the will and the courage.

and now,

the boy is long gone and is a distant memory. he'd msg me once in a while to ask about the girl.

and now, too,

i'm in love with this other boy whom i can't shake off from my memory no matter how hard i tried. its not as if i've not tried. i did. but i cant help but feel jealous when he talked about this girl-friend, that girl-friend.

the boy was once mine. and it's so unlike me to think about boys who were once mine, not for this long. it's been 3 months. i just can't help but think, when's the next time going to be?

i love this boy with all my heart. i love this boy so much that, i couldn't bear to know any more guys. i love this boy so much that, it hurts.

it hurts knowing that i don't know whether this boy loves me back.
it hurts to see him each time, especially when i see him that often.
it hurts to think about the memories, even though the memories didnt last long.

it hurts to love, when you don't know what the future holds.

geez.

i dont think i have the strength and courage like i had the last time. coz no matter how hard i tried to forget about this boy, i cant. i cry coz i know he's not mine anymore. i cry coz i dont know whether or not he'll be mine in the future.

the feeling just sucks you know.

i was reading my previous posts when i came across this.. This was dated 7th January 2007

"... i want someone.

someone who can change me.
someone who can change my perspectives.
someone who can guide me in my life.
someone who can make me respect them.
someone who can always prove me wrong.
someone who can shut my ego up.
someone who can understand how busy i am.
someone who can make me have the time for him no matter how busy i am.
someone who is strong-willed enough to tolerate me.
and for once,
someone who respects me and my decisions.
....
i enjoy intellectual conversations.

not some sappy mushy conversations, asking whether i love you or you love me. no, i'm not that kinda person. i like realism. i like philosophy. get me to talk about that and i won't shut up. don't just ask me how my day was and shut up. if you shut up, i'll shut up.

i enjoy sarcasm and arguments.

yes, i like people trying to prove to me that i'm wrong. i don't like compliments much. i'm a flawed and imperfect human being. tell me my flaws and imperfections, so that i can work on them and improve myself. don't keep telling me that i'm right and i'm oh-so-perfect. no, don't lie to me.

i love humour.

if you can make me laugh sincerely, i seriously salute you. it's not easy to get me laughing sincerely. sometimes i'll just fake a laugh. just like how i'll fake a smile. i'm an actress remember? you can't tell when i'm faking it and when i'm not. but i'm not, you can see it in my eyes.

yes, that's who i really am and what i'm expecting."

sorry for being long-winded. but, i actually found out, the boy had all these qualities, just so to let you know.

sigh...

dear boy,

even though i act as if i don't care, or i act as if i don't love you anymore, the point is, i love you too much. i still cry at night, thinking of us. my heart still ache, each time i see you, coz i know i'm not special to you anymore. but dear boy, please understand, i love you more than i did the last time.

and this, i speak from my heart. sincerely.

love,
ChiCka.

Batu Feringghi Pulau Pinang

12hours from home.

great. not bad for a last minute vacation. left home at 7pm and 12 hours later, i find myself in Batu Feringghi, Pulau Pinang. Roadtrips are great once in a while. Will be back tomorrow night i guess.

Oh, yeah.

Any matters for Dikir Barat or whatsoever, please update me asap. Just checked my mail and i've got lots of shows going on.

boo. will update the pics and the whole trip on Monday

templakkkkk.

the other day, went to meet the lyricist with them and fai.

and we stayed up till so late that, there were no trains or buses back. so me and the lyricist were stuck in BEDOK. he's staying in Woodlands and me in Jurong. ohh greatness right? so the plan was to take bus number 2 to CHIJMES and walk to Esplanade to take Night Rider.

So then, i thought, what the hell.. i called up Abang Zaid to ask to pick me up but he couldnt coz he was working night. Then Abang Zaid passed the phone to Abang Nazree and he told me to wait and Lavender. So i waited. Then Abang Man called. And he came to pick me up and we went to KTM to have supper then head back home.

Craziness.

Yesterday, i couldnt wake up to go to work. And when i came to work, like 2 1/2 hrs late, the Bus Supervisor, Uncle Peter, was like, "Dian cannot wake up ah this morning?" and i was like, "yeah"

then, the Executive Officer, Mr Sim, saw me, "Ah Dian.. Tak boleh mangun aaah pagi?" and i was like, "ya lah.."

WAAAAAHH.

One thing i do wrong, everyone will know coz, it's so unlike me to do a mistake at work or come late to work. hahh the Duty Manager for the evening was my TPT Manager. Geez. He was like, "Dian.. Yesterday you work hard.. Good lah. Eh, you look like you've lost weight lah.."

and i was like "...."

haha.. okay.. but i weighed myself this morning.. i lost about 2 kg. PEACE.

FYP-ING. BORING. DFD SUCKS. BIG TIME.

boo.

i'm having bouts of emotional spells. the temperaments are playing on me again.

if there's one song which can definitely make me cry each time i listen to it, would always be 'kusedari' by syed azmir. the lyrics, the way he sang it.. it's just.. touching lah can.

last sunday at work,

me and radiah went to sentosa cove. the moment we step out, i could just feel the surge of peacefulness that overwhelmed me. it's undescribable. the place was beautiful, the scenery, the yatches.. it was almost like paradise.

and we sat down.. the peacefulness is something which you can't get anywhere else.

might head there once in a while.

okay, well..

adios for now.

afterhim,there'sjustnobodyelsewhocouldtakeovermyheart.
whenyoulovesomeonesomuch,itjusthurtsyoucozwhenyouthinkbackofit,he'snotyoursanymore.

=)

harbourfront was crowded yesterday.

but dolphin lagoon 5.30 show was per normal i think. it was only 2300 but the havoc and chaos was REAL LAAAH. stupid tour groups. There were like, a lot of rangers there but they didnt help much.

Abang Khairul was there. like whooo. he's so tall and he's cute. hehh.
Abang Shahid was also there but he was like, looking so serious.

But then, i was no better myself. Got the pissed off look coz of the messy place that these tourist have made. blearghh.

Ended work at 7.

And it was like.. A COMPLETE PANTAT REUNION.

ALL 8 OF US WERE THERE.

Like huhu. Kecohness. I'm happy that we had a final 8 reunion just before Faiz is leaving for NS. =) Sham went back first coz he's got something on. But the rest, went to fag first and hegeh2 went to the office and took the bus back. Lepak-ed at the entrance of the mrt station. then went to vovo with Fiq and tumpang-ed him back on his bike.

HUUUURRR. He rode fast lahh.. sejuk siotz.

ok, no holidays. WE'RE GOING FOR COMPETITION!!!

Like whoopee.

random.