overwork, overexhaustion and... a new friend.

Wooaaah... TTs like 1 whole week of marshall work for me.. Plus 3 more days to go.. Geez.. It's really tiring u noe.. I've got rehearsals in the morning at 10 till 2 den i have to rush to work at 3.. Geezz.. And i reach home at 11 almost everyday.. Haiz.. Exhausted...

And marshall work isnt easy.. U have to stand the whole day, control the crowd, get fucked by the tour guides, and have to be nice no matter how fucked up u are coz it's a service and tourism industry..

But then, now, marshalls are like family already to me. So are the drivers. I'm pretty close to the new marshalls. Ahakz.. There's Muthu, Magues, Vick (Vickyyyyy!), Pandian, Thevan, Yusuf (ADEKKKK!!), Eileen and Hazmi. The other new ones not so close uhh.. Hurhur.. Joker larh all of them.. I'm closer to them than the marshalls who worked there longer..

Okay well, working today.. Hurhur.. Adek not working uh.. Boringg... Haha.. If not we'll probably go bonkers again.. Haha.. Den Hazmi.. Haiz.. Where u la?? Very difficult to meet him during work.. I only meet him like after work... Hurhur.... But he only work weekends.. Like me la starting from next week..

Okay. the new friend part.. His name is Zaki.. Firstly, we didnt start of the friendship on friendly terms. Because tt time i was still wif that Chickanos guy.. The 2 days relationship arh.. On the first day of the relationship la actually, Zaki msged me to get to noe me.. Then i asked him how he got my number.. And he said he dunno.. Coz some alien sent him a business card.. Gee.. I was like, waddehell.. Hurhur... I said i was attached la.. Then he didnt disturb me until after i broke up, which is just the nx day la.. Hurhur... I broke up in the afternoon, Zaki msged me at 1 am.. So i just decided to just let him a chance la..

And we just smsed and i called him larh.. Den we had a long chat.. Sheesh.. Hurhur.. And i found out he wasnt a dumbo.. Haha.. He's pretty smart.. More to street smart also.. And we just had long chats eversince then.. And smsed the whole day.. And on Monday, i worked till 7.. He picked me up from work!! Heh.. Then we went to Jrg Point by bus.. And we just walked at that area.. He stays near there..

Sigh.. It's been really cool noeing him.. We've met up twice.. =) Happy larh... But then... Sheesh.. Ppl from the past have been haunting me... If its one of em, it's okay.. But it's 2!! Hurrr....

I wont let anything destroy this friendship.. Its been a week that i knew Zaki.. Yes i noe i have some feelings for him.. But i just dun wanna develop that feeling coz i just dun wanna be heartbroken anymore.. Just slow and steady, get to noe each other and have fun as friends.. yeahh... =)

Okayy2.. Need to go for Drama rehearsals... Ciao!

overwork, overexhaustion and... a new friend.

Wooaaah... TTs like 1 whole week of marshall work for me.. Plus 3 more days to go.. Geez.. It's really tiring u noe.. I've got rehearsals in the morning at 10 till 2 den i have to rush to work at 3.. Geezz.. And i reach home at 11 almost everyday.. Haiz.. Exhausted...

And marshall work isnt easy.. U have to stand the whole day, control the crowd, get fucked by the tour guides, and have to be nice no matter how fucked up u are coz it's a service and tourism industry..

But then, now, marshalls are like family already to me. So are the drivers. I'm pretty close to the new marshalls. Ahakz.. There's Muthu, Magues, Vick (Vickyyyyy!), Pandian, Thevan, Yusuf (ADEKKKK!!), Eileen and Hazmi. The other new ones not so close uhh.. Hurhur.. Joker larh all of them.. I'm closer to them than the marshalls who worked there longer..

Okay well, working today.. Hurhur.. Adek not working uh.. Boringg... Haha.. If not we'll probably go bonkers again.. Haha.. Den Hazmi.. Haiz.. Where u la?? Very difficult to meet him during work.. I only meet him like after work... Hurhur.... But he only work weekends.. Like me la starting from next week..

Okay. the new friend part.. His name is Zaki.. Firstly, we didnt start of the friendship on friendly terms. Because tt time i was still wif that Chickanos guy.. The 2 days relationship arh.. On the first day of the relationship la actually, Zaki msged me to get to noe me.. Then i asked him how he got my number.. And he said he dunno.. Coz some alien sent him a business card.. Gee.. I was like, waddehell.. Hurhur... I said i was attached la.. Then he didnt disturb me until after i broke up, which is just the nx day la.. Hurhur... I broke up in the afternoon, Zaki msged me at 1 am.. So i just decided to just let him a chance la..

And we just smsed and i called him larh.. Den we had a long chat.. Sheesh.. Hurhur.. And i found out he wasnt a dumbo.. Haha.. He's pretty smart.. More to street smart also.. And we just had long chats eversince then.. And smsed the whole day.. And on Monday, i worked till 7.. He picked me up from work!! Heh.. Then we went to Jrg Point by bus.. And we just walked at that area.. He stays near there..

Sigh.. It's been really cool noeing him.. We've met up twice.. =) Happy larh... But then... Sheesh.. Ppl from the past have been haunting me... If its one of em, it's okay.. But it's 2!! Hurrr....

I wont let anything destroy this friendship.. Its been a week that i knew Zaki.. Yes i noe i have some feelings for him.. But i just dun wanna develop that feeling coz i just dun wanna be heartbroken anymore.. Just slow and steady, get to noe each other and have fun as friends.. yeahh... =) He's been giving me the attention that i've never had in my life.. It's just amazing uh... =)) *stickwitu*

Okayy2.. Need to go for Drama rehearsals... Ciao!

*end*

*end*

thats it!

Me and him are over.. Just one msg and it ended everything.. Ah well.. 2 days of relationship.. Sheesh.. He said i was too good for him and stuff and he's just not the right guy for me..
Guys will be guys.. Haiz.. And to think that i was starting to love him.. Hurr.. Its over.. And i shall move on in my life no matter how hurt i am.. Ahh well.. I wont cry about this.. I dun brood over breakups okayy.. =)

Okie well. tts all i gues..

AND I'M FINE!! haha.. dun worry k peeps! =)

*hearts*

Oohh wheeee.. Okay well, i'm pretty sure u guys would prolly get sick of hearing me say "Hey i've got a guy.." and u guys will practically say, "so soon??"

Hurhur.

Okay well, have a new guy larh. He's more real than the previous one. Coz he msges me like, everysingle day. And we talked on the fon just nw for like 3 hrs..

Well, the thing i like abt him is that he's different. Not those perverts or sex maniacs.. He's principled. He takes charge and he just makes my day lah.. Plus.. He's uber cute.. Hehe.. I just hope it wont be like the last relationship. Hope it wont be. Please please please.

He melts me. hurhur.. and his pic got Chikanos. And i was like, HEYYY!! I'm ChiCka!! Hhaha.. Cool huhh..

Sigh.. Will be alone nx wk since he'll be gg to KL. haizz.. Sian-ness..

Feels loved again.. =)

MuCh Love,

ChiCka

PIX FOR GIRLS DAY OUT AND ITQAN CAMP

Been really2 bz these few days.. met up wif Aisyah, Mazlinda and Shae (my primary school friends) that Thursday after Drama.. Hurhur.. I came the latest.. as usual.. haha.. okie.. so here are the pics..

Ahakz.. Tts all..

Den, on Friday... Had this ITQAN CAMP.. Students from the other polys also there la.. So, RP, we had me, Fadilah, Adila and Suhaila.. For guys, there were only Fir Olive and Big Zul.. Only 6 of us compared to 20 SP students.. hurhur..

But then i think RP students were the kecoh-est.. Haha.. Fir and Zul were the kecoh-est siakk.. haha.. Of coz la.. Zul was the made the Amir (leader) of the whole ITQAN grp. And Fir mcm assistant la g2.. He volunteered ah.. Haha.. Den the girls, Fadilah was like.. The selamba-rest la.. Haha.. Ade je dier nye comment.. Hahaha.. Kecoh2.. haha..

On the first night, we made a new friend.. EEN!!! hehe... We look alike u noee.. touching kan?? Only that she wears a tudung la.. she's so huggable.. aha..

But i think the camp benefitted me a lot la.. made me realize how much i have ignored religion in my life.. it's sad la.. and den, the last day, some of the girls cried coz of the mind travelling thingy.. something abt family la.. u noe, the close-ur-eyes-the-teacher-made-u-visualize-the-situation-wif-music-on thingy..

Then there was this Ishak guy.. ahha.. funny.. he present, and he kept on hee-heeing wifout realizing it.. ahaha... then like, everyone kept on disturbing him.. including the Ustaz and Pak Utih.. haha..

Okay so, wad does ITQAN means..

I - INTEGRITY

T - TEAMWORK

Q - QUWWAH

A - AMBASSADOR

N - NEW AGE

It's based on the Al-Quran. Its meaningful lah..

And my team name was Vroom. But then, the whole ITQAN, for year 2005 batch, we named ourselves ITTIHADUL QULUB. which means.. UNITY OF THE HEARTS.

PICS!!

Me not co-operating. Coz we're told to make work difficult for the leader.. So I DID.. Sorryyy Haswani..! hehh..

Su, Me, Fad.. Sempat aje tgk cam.. aha

GAMES!! Hehe..

The Guys

The Girls

ITTIHADUL QULUB

And there were the funny ones.. ahaha...

Tts Ishak.. ahaha.. noo... HEEHEEE..

FIR PUN KENE!! haha..

OKAYY... Haha... Tts all... Now, i wanna pack my stuff.. Going to M'sia later.. Will be back on Friday or Saturday...

Take Care ppl!!!

Muaxx!!

One Wish

One Wish By Ray J

Damn baby
Just don't understand where we went wrong
I gave you my heart
I gave you my soul
I gave you...

As a matter of fact I was the one who said I love you first
It was about eight years ago, don't act like you don't know
We were sittin' at home in your mama's livin' room
Cause, we couldn't be alone
See your mama knew I was something else, she knew how I felt
Back then we were in school; and that's your favorite excuse
Growin' up I was a fool; and I can't deny missin you
Listen and don't trip
I think I need a bottle with a genie in it
Here's my wish list

First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one

If I had one wish, we'd be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you'd be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we'd run away
Makin' love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
can you be my wife, make it right this time

If I had one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish

Now tell me is this the only way I can get you right back in
If so then searchin' I’ll go, then I can have you for sure
Then you’ll be lovin' me, holdin' me, kissin' me
So girl don't tell me what I'm feelin' is make believe
I swear if I lose a second chance with you
I wouldn't know what to do
I'd probably check myself into some kind of clinic
I couldn't be alone because without you I'm sick

Here's my wish list
First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one

If I had one wish, we'd be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you'd be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we'd run away
Makin' love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
can you be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish

I don't even know how we ended upon this road
And, even though we are grown, Girl I just want you to know
If I had one wish, we'd be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you'd be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we'd run away
Makin' love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
can you'd be my wife, make it right this time


Ayul made me listen to this song on the phone. He said, just focus on the lyrics.. But then i didnt noe the song b4 so i had a hard time listening out for the lyric arh..

But then i checked out the lyrics just now.. It was quite meaningful lah.. But i wondered why he wanted me to listen to that song. *wondering* bleah..

Well, u noe, i think i'm not attached. hurhur.. well, yeah.. i'm single.. dun ask me y.. it's impossible.. but, i give up on guys already.. i just wanna be single for now, i just wanna concentrate on my life, in making money and also on my ccas..

Okay well, been really2 tired these few days.. Saturday was Zouk Out at Sentosa.. And i worked from 10 am to 10 pm.. Whoo.. Hakz.. Den reached home at 12 plus.. Went online for a while.. Den sleep, had to wake up at 9 the next day coz work starts at 1.. Anyway, that Zouk Out nite, i there was this cute new guy who just started work the day b4.. His name is Hazmi and he's 18.. Cute lah..

Ahakz.. Den the nx day, worked from 1-9.. Den reached home at 11.. Went to Johor wif my mum at 12 plus wif my aunts and their friend.. Reached home at 5 am.. Didnt sleep.. And went to breakfast wif my family at 10.. Hurr.. Den went to meet Nadia and Shyla for Dikir at NP.. But then Shyla couldnt join us for dk coz her grp marah2 her.. so she just sat at the side lah..

Hurr.. Bz siak dis few days.. my body is aching.. ergh..

Now, a 32 yr old guy thinks i'm interested in him.. just bcoz i sent the msg,

"though we hardly meet, it doesnt meet that u are forgotten coz u haf never left my mind.. c0z u're always somebody so special and nice to me.."

and he thinks that i like him!! GOSH! He's a driver wif Sentosa lah.. Not married.. I treat him like a big bro only.. And he's like, msging me evryday, calling me syg and stuff.. ergghh.. irritating lah pulakk..

eishh2.. okie2.. wanna eheemm.. hehe.. ciggies2... haha..

NITES!!

Overworked..

OHH MYYY!! I havent sleep for the past 30 ++ hrs... Sighh.. Work at Zoukout was fun.. 10 am to 10 pm.. den yesteday was 1 pm to 9 pm.. Whee... Okay2.. Dun wanna talk abt work..

I got this quiz thingy from Ika's blog.. Quite fun lahh.. hee.. Let's see wad my results are..

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Well... I guess that's true abt me..

OKAY NEXT!!

Your Ideal Relationship is Casual Dating

Maybe you're looking for love... But mostly you're looking for fun. You could get serious with the right person. For now, though, you're enjoying playing the field.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

THIS IS SO TRUE!!!

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ) You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented. Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader. You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do. You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

The Three Question Personality Test

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Howells... that's basically about it.. tired to do another one.. i need sleep.. sheesh..

i'm in love!!

wheeee... back to being in a relationship.. ahakz..

okayy.. got myself a new boyfie.. ahakz.. well, we're like 4 days old?? ahakz.. yeahh.. hehe.. can't believe that this is happening again!! =)

So anw, got to noe him thru friendster.. he added me there.. and den add in msn.. and we chat2 lahh.. and he's like, so cute... (he's hott btw... ahhhhhhh!! hehe.. ). He's staying in Sengkang and skooling and Ite Tamp.. Ouhh geez.. Tts where Ayul is staying and skooling too... bahh~

well, just hope that we can last for some time.. hakz.. and i really hope this relationship would be a lot2 better.. i dun want it to be like my past relationship arh.. and i really hope he's not like THAT guy..

speaking of which, i've made up my mind not to be nice to him anymore.. him as in THAT guy larh.. i mean, i admit that it was my mistake to type about him in my blog thus making everyone hate him.. howells, if he's not gonna be nice to me, then i dun see the point in being nice to him.. coz he's never gonna change..

apart from that, well... how has my life been??

okay, so been busy wif drama.republic rehearsals for open house.. we're doing physical theatre based on the epic story of romeo and juliet.. and i'm the gang leader of juliet's buncha frens.. hehh... basically loadsa dancing... so, just ended drama camp at fairy point chalet 6.. haks... i went back on the 2nd day coz i was really2 sick.. bahh~ missed out on all the fun..

ouhh yaa.. busy wif mcg also.. though i didnt go for tarian practice for 2 wks already... i've been sick for a week already and its still not getting any better.. maybe it's because of the ciggies??

OKAY SO I REALLY2 NEED TO STOP SMOKING!!!!

It's really affecting my health... But i'm happy that i've cut down a lot already.. One pack can last me like 4 or 5 days.. like, i take 2-4 sticks per day now.. it used to be 7-10 sticks per day.. now okay lahh.. can manage...

ooh!!! it's gg to be 2 oclock soon.. gotta get home.. i'm in the school library now.. had mcg meeting dis morning till 12 plus.. and my hands are numb now maaan.. shucks.. got like a patch of blueblack on my hand coz of the coldness... and i'm hungryyyy!!

WORK TML!! WHEEE!! ZOUK OUT!! but then i'll be working from 10am to 10 pm tml.. and 1-9 on Sunday.. Okay. Wheee.. ahaha..

I FINALLY UPDATED. *Alhamdulillah*

Egotrip

My heart is crying so much.

I've been hurt too much.

I've been egoistic. I'm forced to be that way. I dun want to be seen as weak. By being that way, i noe i've hurt u a lot. But it's nothing compared to the hurt u've given me in the past. I've been mean. But I have to be.

I dun want to be the same person u knew in the past.
I dun want u to noe that i've missed u so much.
I dun want u to noe that i still think of u.
I dun want u to noe that i dun want a replacement for u.
I dun want u to noe that i still love u.

I've moved on. Yes, i do have all those feelings above. But..

I dun want to be the weakling u thought i was.
I dun want to be the one chasing after u like i did the last time.
I dun want to be the low self motivation girl u said i was.
I dun want to be everything that i was when i was wif u.

God knows how I've been these few days. I'm torn apart inside. Memories flash themselves in my head. My heart stabs me wif insecurities.

DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH I LOVED U THEN??

The feelings never fade. It was the most challenging relationship that i've ever had. But it was one of the best relationship. U made me realize a part of me that i never thought existed.

Wif u, i gave so much love and patience. I never thought these 2 existed in me until u came along. But now, i dunno if i can ever be like that to anyone again.

U've been my motivation. But now, let ME by MY OWN motivator. Let me cure the pain in my heart and decide what i want in life.

I'm Shagged.

Omigawd!!! Damn tired siaaa...

Been really involved these few days..

Okay so the ending to my bday tt day.. I skipped 3rd meeting wif George, Sid, Wan and Santosh.. Okay den, Ash said meet her at Phoenix Park Cafe coz she wanted to give me something.. And i was like, okay.. And when i reach there wif Sid and Wan.. It turned out that the PJ guys and girls planned a surprise for me.. Haha.. They had a chocolate cake for me.. Whee.. Haha.. Didnt expect that at all lah.. And Dr Alvin Chan was there too... They had like, a birthday cum farewell party for us.. Sho sweet...

THANK EUU DARLINGS! MUACKS!!

Okie den after that went to MCG Meeting.. Got bullied by RepFus3 gals.. bleahh.. aha.. BbbbaBbbbyy.. tts wad they call me.. LOL. And i exchanged stick wif Fir Olive.. He got Sampoerna Red.. I got More Red from George.. Bila2 Sampoerna! Hehe..

Den, my parents picked me up frm sch, den we went to Changi to eat Nasi Ayam Penyet.. It's nice lah.. Hehe.. Den we went to the beach... And THEY BOUGHT DARK CHOCOLATE CAKE FOR ME!! OMGGGG!! I melted siaaa.. I finished like 1/4 of the cake... aaha.. And their present to me was a set of green accessories.. Green jade bracelet wif silver flowers, green choker, and silver earrings wif green sparkles.. hakz... Nicee...

Den after tt went home..

And yesterday, my cousin got married and helped out at her wedding uh.. And den, at night, i was taking food to eat and someone came up to me and called out my name.. And i was so shocked to see her..

Haha.. She's my sec sch fren lah.. But she quit sch in sec 3.. and havent seen her since then.. and all of a sudden, she appeared at my cousin's wedding.. And it turned out that she was helping wif the catering.. Haha.. Den i chat wif her thru till 12 plus.. Haha..

And todayy.. OMG.. The kendarat guys were sooooo cute!!!! But too bad.. They're younger than me.. Shux.. They look matured siak.. But then young... Blearghh..

Howells... Exhausted to the max siaaaa...

UPDATED!!! HAHA..

Happy Birthday To Me.

I AM SO GONNA FAIL MY BASIC SCIENCE UT2. YES. IT'S CONFIRMED. I didnt attend the classes for the topics that came up today. And i did 3 out of 7 qns. 13 marks out of 30. And the 13 is not a confirmed mark coz i may get lesser than that. Lol. Sigh.. I'm so gonna have to retake my science next semester. IN YEAR 2. SHUCKS.

Okay, i did another question while the fac was behind me.. Hurhur.. Blogging during UT, HOW COOL CAN THAT BE? Hakzz.. So i did 4 qns out of 7, 16 marks out of 30 and i'm left wif 6 mins.. Bleargh..

HOWELLS. It's my BIRTHDAY TODAY!! haha.. Linda bought me green stuff which was soooo prettyy!! hehe.. she bought me a shawl.. It's like a netting shawl lahh.. I think it's a belt kinda thingy.. It's lime green in colour.. And there's also a pair of earrings wif it!! Aww Shucks... Pweeetyyyy.. heh..

(1 MIN OF TEST LEFT)

Okay, so.. I havent really planned on where to go today..

5
....
4
...
3
...
2
...
1
...

Time's UP.

Anyways...

Today, haha.. skipped 3rd meeting and lepak-ed wif Sid, George, Wan and Santosh at the library.. Gee.. I have MCG Meeting later at 430... Of all days, on my bday.. hurhur.. nvm lah eh.. Last day of school also wadd... Hehe..

Ashh.. Thanks for ur gifts.. Wheee... It's nice siaa.. She bought earrings, anklets and necklace.. and.. i dunno wad else u're gonna give me later... haiyooo.. but thanks anyway.. love ya girl..

well, HIM msged me to wish me happy bday yesterday.. and we quarrelled over some stuff.. and i cried.. shux.. sigh.. whatever arh eh..

i'm happy wif my life now okay.. and

I ALREADY MOVED ON.