Rantings

So weird that as you grow older, you have lesser drama in your life to rant about.

At least for me that is. Like back when I was younger, I talked about every single thing about my life. Family, part time work, friends, outings and all.

But now, I can't even think of what to blog. Even if I'm not in hospital, just my regular life, i wouldnt know what to type.

I should give it a shot. Blogging helps kill time now that I'm in hospital.

Okay, so now since I have shifted to Compassvale, It's very far away from my workplace and my parents' place. It's nearer to my Parents & Brother in Law. I have always wanted to stay at Sengkang anyway.

But yeah, on days when I went to work, i had to wake up at 5AM. And get out of the house by 6.15 MAX if not i'll be late. I've to take bus 83 to Punggol Rd, about 2 stops away and then change to 161. It takes about 25 mins to reach Woodlands and then I take the train to Pioneer then transfer to 185/502 to my work place. It's about 1.5hrs travelling time.

But what I don't like about staying there is that there is no good food around. Sigh. I miss Jurong.

Sometimes i'll ask my mum to go with me to Geylang. But i pity her that she has to send me back and then go back home at Jurong. Haiz.

Anyway, so much for rants. I'm gonna have my last chemo later at 3am. Ya Allah, pls pls pls protect me from the fever. I want to go home tmr.

Chemo Cycle 2

I'm on to my 5th and final day of my consolidation chemotherapy.

It is not as bad as the first one. I was in the hospital from 02.02.16-28.03.2016. - exclude 4 days i was granted home leave. That was almost 2 months of hospitalisation. 1.5 months of being in cold isolation room.

Ohh how i suffered. Really. It was the toughest phase in my life ever. The chemo side effects played such a big part. There was nausea, vomitting, ulcer, diarrhoea, no appetite and the worst of it all, fever.

When someone with leukemia receives chemotherapy in the induction phase, we lose our good blood cells + the cancer cells. Therefore immune system = 0. So i couldnt go out of the isolation room.

And maybe i was in an aircon room so when i had fever, the cold was magnified. I started shivering. I had fever for like 3 times a day. I had to use up to 7 blankets on me till i suffocated for a bit.

There was once when my fever went up to 40°C. That was the worst. Thanks to Allah, i actually called Hafiz to ask him to come over as soon as possible because i was alone and i was seriously feeling cold. When he got to the room, i was having the worst kind of cold there was and cried so hard. That's when the nurse took my temperature and it was 40°. They did so many things. Antibiotics, hot pack, hot water bottle, layers and layers of blankets. I can't rmb much then I was too weak. They were scurrying in and out to help me with the fever. I was so thankful that they managed to reduce the fever and stop the shivering.

My appetite was the worst then. I couldn't even smell food, let alone eat. I could only manage cream crackers and milo on most days. I lost a total of 12Kgs.

And last but not least.

Of course i lost my hair. I cried. I've never seen myself botak before. Now i think i'm quite used to it.

Well, for memories' sake. I'm gonna upload photos here. I dont find them embarassing or anything. Cancer is real. It is a battle. To upload this photos mean that i am fighting this battle.

I am very thankful. Allah gave me this sickness to show me the way to Him again. On days when i am totally alone, He was The One who heard my crying and saw my tears. I know that I am not alone.