happenings.

it's been such a while since i posted something which updates about my life.

life has been such haywire.
such.. roller coaster, if i must say.

there were downs and ups, fun times, sad times.
and i'm just trying to go through it all with great patience.

school has been hectic.
4 projects. 2 projects down, oral presentation tmr, 1 more in 2 wks.
exams in a month.

i miss blogging.
but i just dont know what to write in here anymore.
times are different now.
i really want this diploma.
i'm really doing my best.

i've got great friends, classmates and lecturers.
i've got an understanding boyfriend.
i've got really good csm (suriati) and acsm (edwin) who understands my school times.
i've got supportive parents.

i just need this very bad.

everything else can wait i guess.

i miss the usuals so much.
i miss yana being in jurong.
i just miss the old times.

i havent meet the boyfriend for 2 weeks now.
i miss him daaaamn much.
haiz.. just can't wait for this sunday.
where i get to meet both the usuals and the boyfriend. :)


iloveyoufartoomuchtoletyougo.

Somebody is very proud of you.
Somebody is thinking of you.
Somebody is caring about you.
Somebody misses you.
Somebody wants to talk to you.
Somebody wants to be with you.
Somebody hopes you aren't in trouble.
Somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
Somebody wants to hold your hand.
Somebody hopes everything turns out all right.
Somebody wants you to be happy.
Somebody wants you to find her.
Somebody is celebrating your successes.
Somebody wants to give you a gift.
Somebody thinks that you ARE a gift.
Somebody hopes you're not too cold, or too hot.
Somebody wants to hug you.
Somebody loves you.
Somebody admires your strength.
Somebody is thinking of you and smiling.
Somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.
Somebody wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun.
Somebody thinks the world of you.
Somebody wants to protect you.
Somebody would do anything for you.

and that somebody.. is me.

tense times

maybe things are not as easy as they seem to be.
things cannot just be put it as simply.

or am i just making things difficult for myself?
i just don't know anymore.

make her the person who she was..
coz she has definitely lost herself.
and she wonder of her importance..
coz she doesnt know what is right or wrong anymore..
thus.. she keeps denying.

:)

happy giler can?



like, it's a first time for me to see my name like that.

i've had a freaking long day.
just wanna munch some more cookies that the bf's mom gave,
and off to sleep.
:)

challenges

it's 4 am!
and i still cannot sleep.

thinking.
pondering.
processing information.

whatever you call it.

too many problems arise at one time.
i'm just trying my very best to be strong about it.
for me, for everyone's sake.

am sure that i'm beginning to feel like my old self.
i don't know whether it's good or not.

hecking care can't be a good thing right?
running away doesnt solve things right?

haish. why all the challenges dear God?

misunderstood.

why am i making things very difficult?

i seriously don't know what to do,
and crying is the only way i can let all the sadness out.
you may not like it, but that's the only way i know.

i feel so stuck.
i don't have the strength to fight back.
i really don't.

i also don't know what else to answer.
i feel so misunderstood.

help.

spending spree. :)

ohh i suke sekali!

eversince i had my pay,
i've been spending and spending and spending.
:)

on the 10th of September,
after school, went to meet the boyfriend at queenstown.
and then met Yaty at Clarke Quay,
took bus to Hotel Miramar.
had Japanese buffet, LOVED IT!











syiok!
of course, there are loads of other pictures,
which i don't think it's possible to upload all of em here.
haha.

and these were the people involved!
















so after the whole thing,
akie came to fetch yaty.
so it was left with me and bf.

thought of taking cab home,
so we searched for atm,
and at the same time went around to look at nightlife.
well, more like, he showed me what nightlife is.

so we walked, from Miramar, to Clarke Quay, to Boat Quay,
to Singapore River to outskirts of City Hall,
and.. we ended up at the same bus stop that we took the bus to Miramar earlier.
=_="

and i thought he forgot.
which he didnt. :)
"you think i will always forget like you ah? i remember okay our 6th mths!"
:))

so we took cab from there.
friggin long day.

yesterday, at work,
yana and fiiq weren't working,
but they came back to do measurement for the new uniform.
so went out to IMM after Qaira picked us up,
while i was on my 1 hour lunchbreak.

i wanted to find my work shoes,
but there was no charles and keith there.
and yana ended up buying her sandals.

and we ended up spending at watsons,
which i spent $72 just buying..

- 2 rexonas.
- za 2 way cake
- maybelline mascara
- bourjois blush
- 1 sunsilk hair cream

then left work at 5 coz i had a major headache.
and decided to thread my eyebrow and buy facial cleanser and hair dye.

today,
mampos.
after work, went to jurong point with yana,
in search of work shoes again.
charles and keith jurong point customer svc sucks.
so, decided not to buy there.
and went around.. after and hour plus,
i managed to grab 2 shoes.
but, not work ones.
it's for raya. :))







thanks woman for following me,
and keeping my spirits up. :)



and reached home.
went out again with mom and the bros to buke at Mac.
and I GOT MY MEGA MCSPICY!!



and that ended my spending spree.
hmm, maybe going to bf's place to send the kuihs that ibu bought for his mum.
haish.. tired.

celebrations :)

i am not going to bother trying to sleep.
because i still can't.
it's 5.12 am.

on the other note,



HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SYAFIIQ!

he may look 20 but really, he's 26!
may God bless you in everyway,
stay happy, and cheerful always.
Usuals will love you always. :)

and,

Happy 6th Month to Me and Hafiz!



6 months and still going on.
wow, it's still unbelievable.

although, things may not be a bed of roses for us,
and we get to each other's nerves,
i still love you the same bb.
no doubt. :)

you're not just my boyfriend, you're my bestfriend. :)

can't wait for jap buffet at hotel miramar today.
:)

the past life.

i'm still in my reflective mode.
and i was reading on my archives and also looking at my photobuckets.
and i saw these pics.












LOOK AT THAT!!






this was in 2005.
so i was 16-17.
damn i was small.
huhu.

now, 2006.












still small.

and after that, i had another photobucket account,
which i cannot recall the password.
nyehehh..

damn. so thats it. :)

things.

i must admit.
i am not a strong person as i was.
i am not as motivated as i was.

i am a lot of things that i was not.
in a negative way.

at one point of time,
a person can just change.
instantly.

a person's views.
a person's thoughts.
a person's perception towards things.

trauma.
yes, pretty much change things.
sometimes, it makes you lose control of things,
lose control of yourself.

the fear is intense.

very much intense.

jane.

patrick jane. amazing. :)
and i'm done with watching..

meet-up

yeaaaay!

my boyfriend has internet at home now!
all thanks to me. :)

today i was all alone.
dad was at pasir gudang jb.
mom was at simpang renggam jb.
1st bro was at ncc camp.
2nd and 3rd bro at mosque camp.

so after work,
went to the boyfriend's place.
he was at the bus stop with his classmate,
who happens to be Osman Sulaiman's (actor) son.

broke fast at his place.
and then went to heartland mall to find the mobile broadband.
and we settled for singtel.
don't know how good it is but, i guess it'll do.

well, i guess sometimes..
meeting up does help change a situation instantly.
hurhur.

changing times.

i can't sleep.

i miss talking to him.
i miss him talking to me.

things are rapidly changing.

i have never been a big fan of change.
never.

thinking back,
i do miss us. the adventurous us.
the ones who'd spend the days going to Sentosa, Zoo, Birdpark etc.
i was passing by Science Center on the way to school this morning.
it was where we celebrated one of our monthsaries there.

things are different now.

imnotlikingittoomuch.
iwantmyboyfriendthewayhewas.
can i please?

Sunday and Monday.

So yesterday was Usual's Iftar.
was surprised by Yana's call saying that she could come.
so, yeah.. met her at Jurong East Mrt Station
and met Fez, Kimmy and Fiiq at Hbf Branch.

While waiting for Lynna to pick us up,
we took pics.





so laugh2.took pics.
wrote a long list of food to buy at the bazaar.
parked the car at Singapore Post.

Met Kenchit at Paya Lebar Mrt.
Met Mok and Aein at TKC.
Met Hannan and Sabrina at Bazaar.
Met Bb near Joo Chiat.

and all of us went to eat under the void deck at Eunos.
pics not uploaded yet.
:(

but i still had fun. laughed a lot as usual. =)

and today, i went back to Hua Yi Secondary School after 5 years!
I didnt have any particular teacher that i wanna meet,
but i just want to be in the school compounds. :)

but it so happened that i managed to talk to:
my former form teacher in Sec 3 and 4 Mdm Lye,
My Sec 4 Physics teacher Mdm Yeo (she recognised me coz she always scolded me for sleeping in her class)
My Sec 1 PE Teacher and Sec 3 and 4 History Teacher Miss Lui,
My Sec 1 and 2 Literature Teacher Mrs Pan,
My Red Cross teacher ic Mrs Siow,
and
My Sec 4 English teacher Miss (tho now Mdm) Dalina. :)

so some pictures taken.







the last one was actually one of the schoolkid, acting as Lady Gaga. =/
ahhaha.

oh Md Noor and Carlsson, may your legacy continue.. :)