haiiz.

i don't like the feeling of being attached.

i don't like being attached.

how the hell did i get myself into this mess? how can i be someone whom i don't have any respect for? or in the matter, someone whom i don't love?

been crying these few nights.. coz i can't stand being in the relationship anymore. he's so different from me. he's so different from most guys i know. and i just can't take that anymore. the best thing is to leave.

i know i've made a difference in his life in such a short period of time. i know how happy he is when he's with me. but, i have to be selfish for my own happiness. i don't love him anymore.

or, it has never been love but just pure infatuation.

Dear God,

You must have a reason for meeting him and me. But i can't stand it anymore. I don't wanna do the things which you forbid anymore, at least not in that kind of manner. I can't stand hearing vulgarities every single minute, even though it's not for me.

You know what kind of person i am, God. You know he's the exact opposite of me. i'm just not like that kind of person anymore. i've changed. please don't make me go back to my old ways. Give me strength to tell him that i want out.

You do know who my heart is for. Please guide me. I need your guidance.

Amin.

where're you astroboy? i miss you loads.