as tears fills my eyes...

current mood:

life is an utter struggle.

nothing just seems right anymore. turn right, i fall. turn left, i fall. i'm just stuck in a deep shithole that i've created for myself. nothing is easy anymore. nothing is good anymore. nothing is nice anymore.

the certain dislikeness for 2007 just came to my thought.

3 heartbreaks with the same guy and i'm still in love with him, and i'm still waiting for him. call me stupid, but i just can't seem to let go. it's been the same guy for the past 1 year. that's something new, huh? Dee with just one guy. hahh.

so 2007,
Endang was born. I was happy, yes, my dream of opening up a dikir group in RP has come true. but, the spot, that they've put me now, i just don't know how to overcome. commitment? that is one question which they should think. i just don't want them to be egoistic and self-centered, and be like Repfus3. no, never as long as i'm around.

2007,
left me with a lot of sadness. a lot of struggle. it wasn't really a good year. debts, losses, tears. it's the worst year ever.

2008.
my hope,

1. to be a better person myself. to love myself the way that i should be loved.
2. to quit smoking, as like every year's resolution.
3. to get my car license before i turn 20.
4. to get a full time job.
5. to improve on lyric-writing.
6. to mend this broken heart.

i can't think of anymore for now.

i can't help but miss these people.. and i really hope, to meet them again one day.




i miss my pantat family.

Skip, Nisham, Fiq, Nami, Faiz. It's just so different without them around at work, plus, i am so struggling at work coz THEY expect a lot and i just can't get along with most of the new kids. I miss the pantat fam so much.

so anyways,
i know its like, very belated but i just wanna comment on it.

I am just so proud of the girls for going on thus far and like Nafis and Hairil said, kite menang di hati penonton, tak kisah lah kalau kite tak menang. But dalam hati kite, kite tau that kite pemenang.

It was the best performance from Endang ever!

I miss this little kid here.

i've only met her once but the impact that she gave to me is extraodinary. Her name is Marsha. She is His cousin. I never get along well with baby girls but, she is totally an exception. =)

So anyways, today is of course, AGM.

This is the day which, i will handover my post as Dikir Barat I/C in RP. And of course, the person is no other then,

AINNNNNN!

Dearest Ain,

I can't ever find a better candidate then you. Thanks for being there and always understanding my situation and my problems. Hanya kamu sahaja yang tahu betapa susahnya nak naikkan kumpulan ni.

I am confident that you can bring Endang to greater heights. With great power comes great responsibility, cliche but true. Be strong in any challenges that you face in the future.

I will still be around, no worries, but now, i leave it up to you.

=)

much love,
ChiCka