when you're older, pouring your heart out just feels off. especially when its online. but then again, no one reads blogs anyore. so, it doesnt really matter now.
I just celebrated my 4.5 years anniversary with bb. who would have thought? really.
i remember the days when i would celebrate monthsaries and thinking, "WOW! Six months with the same guy!" and then, it was 1 year, then 2 years, and got engaged on the 3rd year and then, 4 years.. how time flies!
i really don't wanna type down what i'm feeling right now coz i'll get nonstop anxiety. coz it's about the W word. no. not now. i don't want to think about it.
Being in a relationship, this long, hasnt been easy. the first 2 years were very difficult. we almost broke up many many times. maybe for one, we didnt understand each other. we were very different. he was a free spirit. i was an old soul.
we still are. he was egoistic. he wouldn't give in. i was the needy and clingy one. and i would cry everynight.
but over the course of time, we grew up. and we became more tolerant of each other's behaviour. And so, for the past 2.5 years, i've been happier. he's giving in a lot. and he's smothering me with so much love. and i'm guilty of having a bad temper recently, which i feel very bad of.
but i'm still learning.
i've started to wear hijab now. And i've started to solat, which honestly, i have been guilty of not doing. Allah SWT has opened up my heart to change. And i will try to be a good Muslimah.
For now, i'm still looking for a job. so most of my days are filled with housework and solat, which i find it to be very therapeutic.
Well, that's about it. For a first proper blog post in years, this is kinda long. well, till next time.
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