busy busy.

things are weird.
unexplainable.
tiring.
busy.

haiz...

twilight crazy

as i was bored, i did these. :)



Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz


Twilight Quiz

trapped

i feel more trapped that i already am.
would you please help me?

turmoil

i guess today did hurt me quite badly.

i just don't know what to say anymore.
because if i say something, it will definitely be out of hurt and anger,
with a dash of sarcasm.

that's why i prefer to keep quiet.
coz i don't want to stir up more trouble.

but either way,
it will still lead to dissatisfaction.

and i always wonder if it's my fault.
because it always seems like it is.
and i always feel, like i never do anything right.
keep making the same mistakes.

i've so many things to type.
but the more i type, the sadder i become.

if thats what you want, that that is what i shall give

feeling.. Exasperated

down is not the exact word that i'd use to explain the mood that i'm in.
i dont know how to explain the feeling right.

The feeling is always triggered by some kind of drop in the already low self esteem.
Say, looking at some girl's profile on someone's account
and thinking that i'm not as pretty as her or as fashionable as her and whatnot.
it's annoying.
And the sudden outburst will just leave me feeling all helpless and low.
like i'm not good enough for him, i think.

Haiz.. I just never see myself as gd enough.
He may say that i am. But i never feel that i am.

I wanna cry, again.
And it feels worse when he's not ard to talk.
Life is sucky

stuff

study week - done.
exam weeks - done.

it's been three days into the second semester.
i'm laden with projects, as usual.
only, worse this time round.

journalism & news broadcasting: 1 group and 1 individual project
radio & television production: 2 group projects
advertising strategy: 1 individual project

and still pending PR something2 tomorrow.

i have been reading.
as a form of escapism.
escape from the real world.
to a world, where it made me put my emotions into words,
and somehow, making me understand myself a bit more.

i was reading ugly by Constance Briscoe.



it was like entering a new realm.
i've never read anything related to black.
and this was definitely an eye opener.
to add on, it's based on a true story.

now, i'm reading twilight,
thanks to haifezah rafpi.



and i'm enjoying it.
so much so, it makes me forget about the real world.

today, is supposedly to be Arwah Malik's 21st. :(
i miss him so.





maybe the more you left me alone,
the more i wanted to be alone

18.Nov.2009

in the morning, i was having bad headache coz i didnt sleep too well,
so i msged Edwin and Sue that i won't be going to work.
and 3 hours later, i woke up and had diarrhoea.
3 times to the toilet!
so took panadol.

after my third time to the loo,
i received a missed call and a msg.
and it was from bb.
what was surprising was, he called from home.

and it turned out that he didnt go to school!
what a coincidence,
that i didnt go to work, and he to school.

so we met up at Bugis..
and yeh, watched 2012.



it turned out that it wasnt so bad after all.
although, being hollywood's science-fiction movie,
it was a little illogical.
but the graphics were nice.

nevertheless, it was a rather LONG movie.
and Film Garde at Iluma was not bad also.

so after the movie, had dinner at Banquet.
and babylove here, decided that we should go Turkish.
so after a heavy dinner at Banquet,
we went to Arab Street for Turkish Supper.

and not forgetting Sheesha as well.
it was at Sufi Turkish Restaurant.





















so basically we just had:
1 lemonade 1 iced apple tea,
1 baked rice pudding
1 classic Turkish coffee
1 hot apple tea
1 cocktail sheesha

and it all cost about $32.
quite okay i guess.
the next time i go to any Turkish restaurant,
i am so ordering the coffee above anything else.

and so, that was for today.
tata for now.

moments.

Lyrics | Atomic Kitten - Cradle lyrics

i have a habit of doing my revision and listening to songs.
but this time round, i was going through songs from the 90s and early 2000s.
it reminded me of primary and secondary school days.
more towards the latter, when i was still listening to perfect 10.

it started with boybands.
BSB
'N SYNC
98 DEGREES
A1
WESTLIFE
O-TOWN
ANOTHER LEVEL
PLUS ONE
BLUE
LFO
SAVAGE GARDEN
BOYZONE
BBMAK
5iVE

and then it landed to
MARIAH CAREY
LEANN RIMES
THE CORRS

and to
DESTINY'S CHILD
TLC
SPICE GIRLS

and now ATOMIC KITTEN.

especially at this hour, with that song..
totally reminding me about bblove.
and reminded me of one more song.

Lyrics | O-Town lyrics - Baby I Would lyrics

i havent exactly been the most wonderful girlfriend,
but i am certainly trying my best.

i will always want you to do your best,
and i'm proud of your achievements,
though i never really say it.

its scary what ibu and ayah wants out of us,
but it's kinda nice to think of it :)
although, it's not the right time yet.

i love you baby.
happy 8th monthsary hunny :)

today and yesterday.

so for the 2nd time, i'll be helping his mom with the catering.

i don't know what i'm so nervous about, honestly.
i've met the mom and dad, like, gazillion times,
and i'm still scared.

ahh maybe it's not the parents, maybe i'm just scared of making a fool out of myself.

whatever it is, i'll just remain quiet today.
just to play safe. haha.. seram lah can.

ohh, and yayan's mama called me ytd.
just to ask where yayan is.
and i was like, i don't know sey.
coz she thought i was involved with today's comp,
so maybe yayan was at training with me.
but i said i was gonna help hafiz's mom with the wedding catering things.

and she was like,
"wah dah confirm nampak?"

wahaha.. cute lah cik ani.

i miss her though. :)

ily

and those words don't lie..

i love you.

running away

Running Away by Midnight Hour

Don't lie and say that it's OK.
It's alright if there's nothing more to say.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

Don't tell me I'm the one to blame.
It's too late for you to make me stay.
No, I won't stay.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place.
And farther than you can find me, I'm leaving
Yeah I'm leaving today.
And I, I'll never let you find me.
I'm leaving you behind with the past
No, I won't look back.
And I don't want to hear your reasons.
Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay.

And try, and try to understand me
And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay
I, I'm moving on from this place
I'm leaving and I won't quit running away.

I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

URGH.

i wish i can just disappear sometimes.
just vanish so that i won't feel hurt anymore.

urgh. let's do this all over again.
denying. pretending that i'm fine.
pretending that it's not bothering me one bit.
so that i can move on and do my revision for exams.




but then again, what's the point of lying to myself?
haiz..

Kental Ah Lu Mat!

KENTAL AH LU MAT WAS OSSOM!!
kudos RPMCG!

peektures again. :)






the end.

emotional bouts.

I feel so not me.
Like, i feel like an angry person.
Everything doesn't seem right to me.
I'm mad about almost everything.

you know the thing about this blog?

it doesn't depict my innermost thoughts anymore.
it doesn't make me vomit out my words anymore.

I've read and re-read my blog countless times,
and i ended up crying more than i could think about what to write.

damn.

love.

i'm still smiling like a budak tongong.
:)

so yes, sunday was the usuals jalanraya.
and i had funnn. :)

i'll spare the details and let the pictures do the talking.

me and hayyan
at my place with bblove.
at sabrina's.
hakim and feza
yana and qaira
hanizah and zalee
aein and sharun
syafiiq and radiah
sabrina and hannan.

and we even had a proposal for it,
which was hilarious, made by feza.

Supervising: Nur Liyana Bte Sardali aka Yapanok

Advisor: Saaaaafiq + Diyen Nak Fengsan Selalu

RSM (Raya Sergeant-Major): Fezah Nganga

Duty Medics: Hakim Kimmi Sleepy Co-Pilot + Hafiz Who lives in a Fishbowl
( Pandai2 carik plaster sendiri yaw' )

Tukang Amek Attendance: Zalee Yang Bakar Kuih @ 1am

Uniform Sensei: Sabrina Cherryade

Photo Commander In Chief: Saaaaafiq Tak tahu tapi Tuhan Tahu

Photo Commander On Recall Duty: Radiah Tickle-Me-Kenchit-With-A-Pen

Timekeeper aka tukang pekik-pekik: Qairawaneeeee + Diyen Nak Fengsan Selalu

Entertainment ICs: Nyza Makmekmok + Sharun Nizammm Bearbear

Tailong: Nur Liyana Bte Sardali aka Yapanok

Transport OIC: Sri Bunga Melati Aein + Hannan Slope Keep Away

Our Vision & Mission : the West to the East

superfunnayyy.
the pictures are all in facebook,
and its kinda laggy to download.
so just go to facebook and see k. :)

and, on monday..
bb didnt go to school, and we ended up going to birdpark instead. :)














and i have never really noticed,
that MY boyfriend has a freaking HOTTT BOD!
really.. he's got that V-shaped hotbod. *caircaircair...*

oh and i soooo wanna smile kambing when he said..

him: did i tell you that you look beautiful today?
me: nope
him: well, you look beautiful today

and i'm still smiling now. :)

and maybe we just had the manjerest ever phone conversation today. :)
i loike very much. =)

ilysm. muacks.