2007

haiz.

the more i try not to think, the more i will think. i know i shouldn't. i know i should be strong and not think about it. but i just can't stop.

it's been a long time since i've been like this. i want it. all for myself. not seeing it, not having it, just makes me a weaker person.

haiiz.

this is wad i got off from some friendster bulletin. quite true i guess. hahaha. and they keep emphasizing that december ppl are horny. shut up laaaah. hahaha. i'm horny so wad? lolz.

DECEMBER= BEAUTY
Loves to chat.
Loves those who love them.
Loves to takes things at the centre.
Great in bed.
Inner and physical beauty.
Doesn't pretend.
Gets angry often.
A meaningful love life partner.
Treats friends importantly.
Brave and fearless.
Always making friends.
It is all about love and fairness.
Easily hurt but recovers easily.
Daydreamer.
Horny but does fullfill.
Opinionated.
Does not care to control emotions.
Knows what to do, to have fun.
Unpredictable.
Someone to have close to you.
Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

and with the new year here, i guess it's resolutions time, yeah? but let's kick it off with some reflections.

A review. Of 2006

2006. A year of ups and downs of the extremes. It was a year of unexpected things happening. It was a year, of happiness, joy, sadness, and strength.

i've got 2 exes in the year of 2006.

one being, my now-good-friend-and-then-boyfriend J. It was a good relationship i think. Only that both of us were always busy and never had the time for each other that, i think the love failed. and also, because of my dad. i ran away from home for the very first time of my life. met his siblings. met his mom. his mom doesn't like me. neither did my dad liked him. it was hard on us. and it was especially hard on me when i got that tag from someone. and it ended everything.

it was such a terrible period of time for me. i was really looking forward to the 6th months anniversary. but before we got there, we went our separate ways. it was horrible. the memories, was so vague, so clear. the promises. the sacrifice i did. i went totally berserk. and the only people who stood by me, were my parents, my brother, and also my sentosa family.

it wasn't easy, to let go of a good guy. but then again i thought, if he's happier without me, then i will let him go. and i wanna see him happy. if it means being with me makes him unhappy, i'd let go. and i did.

all sorts of advices came to me.

and i will always remember what abang azri told me.
"a relationship without parent's blessings, will never work out"

and from then onwards, i respected my parents. i changed. abang man was with me every single day because i used to skip school for 2 wks after my break-up. he'd advice me. talk to me.

and uncle goh would tell me.

"kamu masih muda... masih byk lagi lelaki di luar sana.. tidak apa kalau satu tidak mahu kamu, pokoknya, ramai lagi org yang masih sayang kamu.."

i guess that's true. i may have lost one person. but there are lots of others out there who loves me as their friend, their sister and also their daughter.

that period was one of the craziest period in my life but, i sure did learn a lot from it.

then, the highlight for 2006 was my first ever theatre performance. I PERFORMED AT ESPLANADE!!!

it was cool. totally.

and then, i performed for create.fiesta.

and, then i turned 18. ahhh. the legal age.

and i got myself into another relationship. and it was a 5 day relationship. it was a total mistake. i should've known better. tattoos? sec 3 education? went to prison b4? tagging? what was i even thinking?

i know i had a lot of impact in his life. but i'm sorry that the only impact that i've got was just pure hate.

2006 saw me made a lot of great friends. and i lost a few of them.

amy. scandalous. his friend liked me. i liked him. he liked filzah. how much of a conflict can that be. i've been thinking of typing a script about it. because it was so controversial and so much drama in it that no one would ever believe me if i told them. and i lost this dear friend of mine. we were so close. but now, everything just feels so distant between us.

irfan. the one i have intellectual conversations once in a while. the one who made me think and woke me up from lies.

abang man, nazmi, faiz, tianchan and those in sentosa who are close to me. these people are like family to me. they're not just colleagues. they're my brothers, and also my godfathers. <3 these people to bits.

and then, now, i've got it and it makes me happy. lol.

i just hope 2007 will be a good year for me.

2006 was a good year. really.

my resolutions for 2007 will be..

- quit smoking. like every other year's resolution.
- make more money
- come to school more
- get good grades
- lose weight.
- have faith in myself.
- don't sin too much. lolz!
- get a bike.

and lastly,

bring myself closer to God.

yeah, i guess that's my new year's resolutions. might have summore though. but i can't think of anymore for now.

okay. that was a long post. toodles all~