mixed feelings

i feel fucked up.

i wish the surgery was today so i could cry my heart out.
apparently it's gonna be next Tuesday.
thanks.

i dislike having animosity around me.
hypocrisy is worse.
and i've always thought,
knowing the truth hurts, but not knowing the truth hurts more.

howells,
i know it sounds cheesy or corny or whatever.
yeah i kinda realise where i stand, so yar.
so no point feeling the animosity right?

yeah, thought so.
just my 2 cents worth i guess.

ohhh who cares.



so yeah, went to the hospital when dear ol Abang Arman msged.
thought of going home with mum
but he asked if i had any plans today
and i said no.
so he said "wait there i come and fetch u."

okay lar.
so he came.
and he cut his hair!!
alah dah tak cute okay.
it's so weird seeing him short hair after yeaaaars seeing him with medium length hair.

along the way we talked.
he was telling he'd talk to his lawyer friend.
about my wrist case.
then of course, we went to the usual place.
hang out. chill.
of course, had lots of fun.
and he still likes my perfume. hahaha.

on the way home, he put on this therapy song ar.
those kinds where u'd listen at the spa.
huhu. felt good.

and we're planning to go on a one day Batam trip.
spa, seafood. home.
he still owes me a JB trip. haha.
dah tu, still can ajak me go to KL with his friends next week.
wth.

okay lar, on the way home,
talked and laughed fairly more than we usually did.
so he sent me home.

and here i am now,
with this bloody irritating pimple on my forehead.
and i rmbered what he told me just now,
"soak cloth in warm water, pressure at the area"

i tried and it worked lar.
a tiny bit. =)
hehheh. not bad.

so this month's chance is up.
let's wait for next month.

and i shouldn't forget what he told me to tell Abang Zaid.
yes, tonight then.

i know i can always count on him for things like this.
he has always been the guardian angel.
always popping up when i need someone.
as much as i have close guy friends,
no one can ever replace him.

he's always a dear in my heart.
he's always making me feel so strong.

thanks love,
even though u're always so busy,
once a month is sufficient for me.

=)