Blood Disorder

I have always known that I have low blood platelets. I didnt take it very seriously. Along the way, i just lived my life.

It was only that i had multiple abcess that i went to NTFGH to remove them. But it wasnt quite as easy as my platelets were low. So they refered me to Dr Tan, who i had follow up appointments with her until i decided i didnt want to go coz it was expensive (coz i wasnt under CSC Card anymore)

So i went to see Dr Tan, got my blood drawn out. The next day, i received a call from her to report to A&E because the way she saw it, my blood was very abnormal. It was lower definitely but this time round, it is affecting my white blood cells as well.

So, there we were husband & wife, stumped at what to do. We cried for a good 15 mins. Called ayah. He said to go.

So we went. Got admitted. Drs and nurses took many bottles of blood. And they decided i should do bone marrow biopsy.

It was the shittest painfulest pain i have ever felt in my life. The worst part is when even their senior dr found it hard to poke into my bone marrow. They had to do it like 7 times. And the sucking part is damn painful. Goodness. This could be 1 of phobias.

And 2 days later, it is still painful to sit for too long and certain parts of my right thigh and my tummy feels painful after the biopsy.

So i'm now on homeleave. Since they have nth for me for the next few days while waiting for the results. I have to be back in the ward at 8am.

Feels good to be back home.

This makes me wonder so much about being pregnant and having a child. This is probably the reason why Allah didnt grant me a child. I think its for the better. But of course, i feel very sad that my husband cannot get a child of his own. I feel so sorry that i am lacking like this. My husband deserves to have his own children. But if i get pregnant, it will endanger my life and the baby too. The baby might inherit my blood problems. 😢

Allah knows best. I will leave it to Him to decide. For now, pls give me the strength that i need.