THURSDAY

ohh life is such a whirlwind these few days.

i havent been to class for a week already. and i feel so bad about about it.
Monday cabut
Tuesday overslept
Thursday, cabut
Friday slept at home.

urgh.

so anyways, the Thursday i cabut-ed. Called Atie and asked her if she wanna go in for 2nd meeting since we're late, might as well be late. So, yeah.. Waited for her at CWP Mac and then we had McGriddles.



Look at the packets of sugar we took. KENCING MANIS! haha



Atie, does not like the sausage. So i made her trade the sausage for the egg with me. Haha.. So it turned out to be like this..

Before.



After



haha.

then, my chilli sauce plate stuck together - TWICE, while i cecah my burger onto it.



haha. it was so funny la. and me and Atie talked like a lot. since its been a long time since we hung out together eventhough ade trg. Pity Jay wasnt there.

So we decided to go to the library. But i had to go Watson to my pressed powder. Huhu and this was what we left..



Litters neatly in place. Haha. A lot too.

Then at the library. Sheesh, if the librarian was strict, she'd prolly throw us out. We were so noisy lah. Haha. Who wouldnt be, when you do silly things like chatting when u're just separated by a pillar and WEBCAMMING away..








Atie the Minah Tudung.


Atie the Rocker


Atie the Emoshit.

Then i was lookin at this profile on my multiply.
Songsang lah okay! Satanism stuff.

and i said.. "Bile budak nie nak pergi ke hujung pangkal?"

Haha. den Atie burst and said,
"BILE NAK PERGI PANGKAL JALAN LAAAAHHH"

=) *malulah saye*

Then after that JAY joined us. Slack2. And then we went to watch CONGKAK!



Seram lahhh oi. Tsktsk. Sound effect ISHHHHK.. Happening. The storyline also seram uh. A must watch i say.

Then after that, we went to eat School's Haven. Then i went for UT and met them back for trg.



and yes, after training that wrapped up the day.

oh yesterday was MCG Welcome Tea Party. Another day yeh? Dah cukup panjang seh post ni.

short.

i planned to blog.

but i ended up deleting over 300++ contacts in my msn.

and now, it's 2.50am.

and i'm sleepy.

next time.

night.

weird.

somebody landed on my blog after searching for my ex's full name.
hah. how weird.

i havent been to school these 2 days.
network security and banking.
the 2 worst modules ever.

so yesterday,
firstly, i couldnt find my ezlink in the morning.
got fed up then i just left home and at Lakeside, it was freakingly crowded than usual.
squeezed in the train like i've never done before.
so then decided not to go to school.

went to Mac, had McGriddles.
Then decided to go to the library and slack.
and the library wasnt due open till 10 am.
which was an hour later.
so i sat at Civic's Mac. bluetooth some pics to the laptop.
and decided, to go to Sentosa to do my PP.

ok so went to Woodlands Interchange for 963.
then the worst thing happened.
i couldnt find my handphone.
and i thought i left it at Mac.
So i went back to Civic.

and when i reached Civic, i realised,
i didnt buy anything. so, the table was empty.
so i looked thoroughly in my bag.
and yeah, it was there.

so yes, i went back to the interchange.
queued up.
and 963 came.
i was thinking how come the queue wasnt moving?
so then, i looked again.
i was queue for 161.
BLEARGH.

reached Sentosa.
and it rained on me.
GREAT!

WHAT A MONDAY AYE?

today,
actually... the plan was to go in during 2nd meeting.
but overslept till Bas called me at 10.30. haha
finee.

so anyways,
work tmr.

oh oh. i tried the webbie that atie recommended.
kekekness.























kelakar sey.

ok, i'm done.

MY LONG WEEKEND.

i've had a long weekend.

on Friday after school, walked to CWP with Atie. Bought her hp cover then went to the front of Popular to wait for my aunt. Then Atie went back and i had early dinner with my aunt and i had this.




Laksa at Banquet CWP. Yeah well.. Makanan kenangan lah katerkan. Somehow, it doesn't taste as nice as before. Hmmm.
Ok, no further comment.

at home that night,
my dad was working night shift. so there were my mum, and my 3 brothers.
and my mom!
she made dominoes with rubbers! well.








That's SR. Sharifah (mom) and Rusli (dad).

So the next day,

went to Persisi at Bedok with these loves and a few year ones.

i think we stayed there for hours and hours. ok i do not want to elaborate.

went home, and went out again with the parents and Shafiq at 11 plus to celebrate an early mommy's day. went to Al-Ameen at Bukit Timah.










the disgusting sup ekor. yucks.



oh then went home at 1 plus.

Woke up at 10.30am. Siap2 and went to Jemputan orang kahwin at Geylang Bahru.
After that, went home.
Changed.
Went for a family photoshoot.
looked like this.




went home again.
changed again.
went to Ikea, Giant Tamp.




and then we went to Serangoon and OMG it was flooded and i mean, FLOOOOOODDEEEEED with Banglas.
still, we went to eat at Komalas Villas.



MINE.







and after that we went..

HOME!

funniest things happened.

i don't find smoking a necessity for me now.
maybe, just a bad habit.

yesterday scared me.
breathless, like literally.
i wanted to cry so bad.
but then, i just tried to hold on.

hmm. abang arman msged me this morning.
the typical, good morning have a nice day kinda msg.
instantly, a wide grin on my face. =D

he just said,
"good morning you, make today a meaningful dat ya - have a good one!"

so, i tried to make the best of that message and tried not to be grumpy.
and the funniest things happened today.

firstly at lakeside,
saw this girl from my secondary school. my senior actually.
who happens to stay in the same block as i am.
high nosed now.
but she wasnt really known in secondary school.
the invisible girl i would say.

and just now,
i saw her.
pregnant.
oh. okay. instantaneous reaction.

after graduation, she'd always like to make herself look better than i am.
competitive? i guess..
on who is more fashionable and trendy.
but, heck. do i care?
if i'm not in the mood i'd probably slip into an oversized shirt and pants.

but, yea, not that i'm saying serve her right though.
well.. i dunno how to put it. go figure.

secondly,
saw Zul as in Almi's boyfriend in the train.

thirdly,
saw this awfully dressed girl.
dunno whether it was a China girl or not.
white loose round neck t-shirt. guy's shirt.
RED BAGGY PANTS.
oh my god.
wad was she thinking?!
auditioning for the next Poland flag?

fourthly,
i think this guy whom i saw, was a Chinaguy.
who happens to be a tourist in RP.
at the entrance of the school, this guy was wearing:
a SUNHAT, 3/4 pants, long socks, shoes and those Hawaiian shirt and, PINK shades.

wrong place i think.
Maybe he mistook North for South.
Wanted to go to Sentosa but ended up in Woodlands.
and thought maybe,
wanna go for a swim at the sports complex.

HUHU.

and and and!!

i think the counter girl at the rp Koufu is pekak (deaf).

the other day i said i wanted teh o packet.
she gave me teh with the cup and saucer.
den i said, packet.
she gave me a milo on the go.

nevermind.

today,
i said coffee packet.
"KOPI PENG!"

WTF. she's got some serious digging to do.

oh well, that's all i guess.

beef burger anybody?

training.

maybe i was just being the popular one there.
notoriously popular maybe.

my name was called like.. a lot of times.

"dee. tangan kasi straight" (first time)

dah straight.

"dee. tangan kasi straight" (second time)

i was like. wth. my hand's are already long enough and when they're straight, they're such a hindrance. ishhk. fine.

"ok start tepuk 10 balek. orang kat belakang (me) kononnya nak kecoh tapi terlepas"

WHAT THE FOOK!

fine. point my every little mistakes yeh.
once or twice, it's ok. but geez. thanks ah eh.
i dunno what you're up to, pal.
but it sure is irritating.

oh suit yourself.

ohh great. the guy i talked about in the earlier post pun budak clap2.
harapan per.

chey. deytu.. my ex's friend.
wth. that guy. sheesh!

arghh.
suddenly.. mcm i have a lot of things to do.

fyp: finish up use case specifications, start on database and codings.
pp: report first draft and poster by 29 JUNE.
Network Infrastructure UT tmr!

ohmygoodness.

oh i was going through my archives. i actually have a flickr account.
haha. the chickatakuhiro was me and jayjay. wakakaka. kenangan beb!

2006 i think. zaman kekentalans when i was stil 17 going 18. huhu.

okdah. hahaha

thoughts

rp network is being an effing bitch today.

can't log in to msn. e-buddy lah duh
LAG.
DAMN SLOW LAAAAHH.

it's been like a month to school and it's not getting any better.
hah. at least be thankful that its not really getting worse.

i was totally bored in class.
went anak-melayu-ing and alamak-ing.

and it bored me more.
dis guy was asking me this lame qn.

guy: dah brape lame single?
me: abt 6 months.
guy: tak carik?
me: malas.
guy: kalau i nak letak application form boleh?

what the fook. u just know me for ONE bloody day and u said that?

desperate i think.

had the usual talk with Jay.
maybe i'm just too picky.
takboleh ni, takboleh tu

maybe, just maybe, i want someone like him.
but, just a little more mature.

someone smart. who can always prove me wrong.
not mushy. definitely.
someone, who doesnt make me look down on them.

oh well.
when he comes, he comes.
i'm just too lazy to search.

but it does hurt to see couples here and there.

i don't know anymore.

being single is fun and everything.
maybe just.. the attention.

tsssk.

howells.. just stop dwelling and look forward to the future.

speaking of which.
i have a VERY VERY BUSY month of May and June.

whats new?

randoms.

i was out with my mum and brothers when i saw one of my close friend who happens to be one of my dad's NSman.



yeaa. faiz! and he's no longer a faggot. he looks, guyish and yeah.. cute.

uhh well, i don't really have a story to tell these few days. well, nothing much has been happening actually. to school, to trainings and back. uh, ya practically that's about it.

oh but, this morning, i went for this ce activity organised by DBA and it was a trip to the COCA-COLA FACTORY!

oh and i tell you.. it was sooo cool. Cocacola vintage and all. but, i didnt take any pictures coz we weren't really allowed and my cam wasnt that good. haha.

haha. ok done.

wanna watch atas heights and ogle over didicazli and yg nina halim nye adek whom i dunno his name but i know he's cute.

anger issues

i took out like loads of names under my link coz i realize it's freaking long and then again, i don't read some of em.

so, those who are in my list now are often read and they're friends.

just random i guess.. out of sheer anger and pissedoffvity (pissed off la). i was on my way home from somewhere the other day and i was in the train, and this Indian national, was being such a bloody pain in the ass.



she's not the first one that i've spotted. but anyhow, IT'S FUCKINGLY INCONSIDERATE. The pole is for you to hold and not to hug and lean your whole body onto it. Ass. When you do that, you bloodily refrain others from holding just because your smelly body is leaning on it. fuck.

oh enough about that.

i hate my classmates for today. they're like, damn cheeenas. well, anihoos, my facilitator was quite understanding about my slowness in class and he just said to revise more.

i'd trade this class for my Network Infrastructure anytime. At least, they're fun.

anger issues.

uhm. endang juniors, just, buck up.

the end.

nek rock.

i dunno why every time i wanna type nek rock, slalu tertype neck rok. ahaha. cute or whatt.

ok well, just came back from Bussorah Street (Booo-Sore-Raaah and not Boostraw eh Ain). Had a dikir show with Endang. and huhu.. i guess the show was pretty different. haha.

for the 2nd time, i was the 2nd karut.
for the 1st time, me and Naj did Yengki and Kelantan spontan.
for the 2nd time, we did Patani spontan.
for the 1st time, i played a Jawa-Nenek character (hence the name Nek Rock).

haha. firsts and seconds.

but then, haha. kekeknesslaa.

"naek bah, trn intercheng, naik BOHT,"
"alaa. yang bende keras2 panjang2 tuuu. aper tuu. kapal menerbang"

hahaha. tsk2.

PLEASE SEND PICS TO ME ENDANGDUTS!

NEK ROCK SEMPAT POSE TIME TRG BEFORE SHOW. HEH

for awhile there, i saw his perangai sial.
perasaan bertukar menjadi benci. adakah ini orang yang aku sayang selama ni? somehow.. it made me think of the same reaction he did to me then.
ohh fuck it. this is not the type of guy i want.
letting go. again and again.

after show, went to lepak at Starbucks Bugis Junction with Yayan and Atie while waiting for Ain Ifah and Huda.

and HE msged. my mr hotness abang arman. huhu! he just said, "hey sexy.."

and it made my night.

and that is all. oohh. and anyway, i edited a pic of me and him when i was bored in class. and i like it like ooooh so much!

even though mcm it reads. man and dee. i kinda like to pronounce it as mandy. hahaha.

and that is all. good night.

tiredness

I'M TIRED.
I'M EXHAUSTED.
OVEREXHAUSTION.
READ: FREAKINGLY TIRED.

haiz. i need some sleep and rest.

damnit

i shouldnt have written that post. damnit.

and now, padan muke aku, for having the feelings for him again.

i dreamt of him ytd. fuck.

damnit.

mama n abah.

sesungguhnye, aku merasakan yg diri aku ni hanyut dek mengikutkan halwa nafsu yg tak tentu arah. nafsu, dalam subjek ini, bermacam-macam perkara. jangan setakat fikir nafsu itu hanya untuk nafsu seksual.

dan aku merasakan, fikiran ku sudah buntu. mcm sudah tidak waras untuk memikirkan apa yang baik dan apa yang buruk. semua asal boleh go jer. entah la.. sendiri gali lubang, sendiri tutup ye.

untuk post di bawah, sesiape yg rase jelak membace aku crite pasal ex aku, rase2 jangan bace ah. but, it's just for me to think through.

i talked to the ex's sister just now. and she was telling me how, abah said, he and mama would really be happy if me and him get back together. for awhile day, my ego flopped. i know it's impossible for me to get back with him. knowing the condition and situation that both of us are in now. and i know, there could never be another us.

we never really talk unless its business and we have to discuss it. other than that, we are nothing. and i told mama the other day, i don't talk to him anymore.. and she said, maybe because he's always busy.

mama.. sometimes, i do wish that things were the way it was. but it isn't. i know, you and abah want me to be with him, and sometimes, i hope your wishes come true, but i realize, this is reality, there can never be us agn.

maybe because your son changed. and he moved on. and he left me far behind and in the lurch. i hated him for that. it took me almost 5 months just to forget about him. i loved him a lot. i really do. but i dunno how i feel twds him now. coz i just don't want to get hurt again coz, if i love him, i wont be able to face the fact again, which took me 5 mths to overcome.

but mama, abah and adik, i love u all like family. i've never been close to a bf's family and u guys were the first, to enter my life. and i've treated all of u like family.

i remembered how.. all five of us would sit and talk and crack jokes and we'll always end up talking about ghost stories.

and i remembered how, mama taught me how to bake chocolate chip muffins even after i broke up with him. and also, i remembered.. watching soccer with abah. and the family chalet during adik's bday..

i miss all of that. but mama, abah.. i need to move on for the sake of my happiness. i can't be waiting for your son for ever. though, today, i've finally rejected my ego and thought that i missed him.

and thats it.. if fate decided to be nice, who knows we might reunite. but, the way i see it now, there's no hope.

and i'm in search of happiness.

the jasman day

yesterday spent the whole day with Jas. went to Escape, then to Armenian Street and then to Marina Square.

Escape to me was lame. or maybe, its just the fact that i've outgrown it. the only good things there were the pirate ship, the go-kart and the haunted house. the rest were bleargghh.



then after Escape, we went to Armenian Street, the Peranakan museum where Cik Yassin was performing. And it was actually fun to see all the Babas and Nyonyas joget.


on the way there.


line dancing


the nyonya and the baba yg kuat stamina danced till the last song.


Yayan joined in the fun.


so did Cik Aini


Cik Yassin on the guitars.

Oh den it ended at 6 and we went to meet Jas' bandmates and went to eat at Seoul Garden.



We were damn hungry sia coz we saved our tummies for Seoul Garden since the afternoon. That's our plate ah. haha.



That was how i was feeling at that point of time. haha. sempat.

So then.. we went back early coz we were like bloody tired sia. Yeah so that ended the day.

i so do not like to be stuck in the middle.

bitch

dear life,

i really wonder, when will you stop being a bitch and start being nice to me? why do you keep throwing your bitchstuff to me at the same fucking time?

oh thankyou, for showing me what ego is really like. oh thank you, for showing me for the very first time in my 19 plus years of living, the fact that life isn't a bed of roses in a relationship of 20 plus years. i have never heard them argue like that before. and it sucks big time. and the worst thing was, i didnt know who to side with.

entah uh. bingit ah.

'nak duduk bebual dgn anak pun salah."
"yelah. anak satu jer pe"


honestly, i'd rather be out den be in a situation like this.

DAAAAAH. AKU MALAS NAK STRESS2 LAGIK! SKOLA STRESS! KEJE STRESS! RUMAH STRESS! BINGIT LAAAHHHH!

haiz. tmr, i'll be out wif Jas. yessah finally, we're going out. oh i miss him soo much! oh and Wanny, reply me laah. idiot. tsktsk.

done.

haiz.

sesungguhnye suara aku mcm jantan time SLA fiesta. haha. if you wanna watch the vid (which i hope you don't), it'll be at the Endang Multiply website. disappointing uh. alah.. fine laa. i'm just gonna stick to being an awok.

so anyways, today hasnt been a good day. i didnt go to school and i woke up at 2.30p.m.

huhu. and in the evening, i saw someone online. someone from the past. someone i used to hate so much. and i thought he changed. but apparently not, and i thought, why the heck do i bother? haiz. crap lah. so i just blocked him.

ytd night, met a new friend. it was okay. but that was not the highlight i guess. ahah. he knew Jas. and that, is the highlight.

after i met the friend, on the way back in the train, i called Jas up. ohhhh how i miss that fella. and when home, i webcammed with him like, again. haha and of course, it was fun fun fun! heh. if only i can upload that pic and show how cute he was last night.. but, haha. he was topless. nyaaah.

haha. and then, we were talking about something. and, then i said, absence makes the heart fonder.

huhu. go figure.

bad dee.

i feel so bad for overpowering yesterday. haiz. i should just keep my mouth shut and let her do the work. sape lah aku ni. i'm just a has-been. she should be the one basking in the limelight, and not me. i should just keep low and only speak up if i have to.

sorry eh ain =(

excitement

RAAAAAAAAAA!!
ENDANG TRAINING TODAY.
dah start ah kemaluan aku. OOOOOPPTTHS.

i meant, my fear of meeting new people da start. seriously sak. last year dgn budak2 Endang pun same. Kalau boleh nak aje sak aku sembunyi. Nari dah merasakannya jugak. Haha. Boleh tak kalau tak datang. Malulah Saya.

peace~

i forgot to add in the other day.

Scenario 4.
Me: I'm going JB tonite with my mum and aunts.
Ridz: Buat ape?
Me: Isi minyak.
Nouru: Tidak kah kau tengok, pergi Johor malam2 kan bahaya?

directly translated from: can't you see, going to Johor at night is dangerous?

Scenario 5. (me, Ridz and Atie at the coffeeshop on Saturday before comp)

Ridz: Order jer ape korg nak? auntie, teh-o satu, kau?
Me: Kopi. Atie?
Atie: Teh-o.
Ridz: ok auntie, SAMPOERNA MILD MENTHOL LIGHT satu.

Auntie came in with Marlboro Lights.
Ridz: auntie wrong la. SAMPOERNA MENTHOL LIGHT.

Auntie came in with Sampoerna Menthol.
Ridz: Auntie salah la. i want Viceroy Menthol Light.

Whaddeerrheell. hahaha. dengar2 Sampoerna ade menthol light per. huhu! ape saje si Wanny tu.

Haha. geez!

So anyways, I think i'm stuck with boy problems again. Well, i mean, i do want a boyfriend and all, but i'm just not ready to settle down. like, really and honestly. i dun think i'm ready for commitments just yet.

It's just that, i'm busy. yeah, school ALWAYS makes me busy. I have this and that. This meeting that training. So then, i don't have the time to selit for anybody. Luckily Jay and Atie are Endangs, if not, i prolly won't have any time for them as well.

But, this few weeks, i've been trying to make time for friends which i havent been meeting up with. Yeah, i made time for Ridz and Nouru last week. and met Rieza for just half an hour after work. And this Sunday, i'm meeting up with Ridz and Nouru again for Escape.

So bits and pieces everywhere.

I dunno how if i'm gonna have a boyfriend. I'm not sure. I still want to enjoy and have fun and go out with anybody i like as and when i like without any rope pulling me back. Oh you know.. Stuff which some couples do. Report kluar dengan siape lah and stuff. i don't like that.

And, i like the attention that i'm getting. The chats with Iskandar. The sms-es with Abang Arman, Imran Chingx3, Rieza. The calls from Abang Omar.

Ok, so i admit most of them are guys. Lol. My only gfs are from Endangs. I just get along better with guys i guess. So maybe, a boyfriend would just slow me down. Right? haha.

but of course. the loneliness kills sometimes. ah but.. ahakz.

berkawan itu lebih mulia dari bercinta.

and maybe.its not about all this. and maybe its just me. and everything is just about that 3 letter and 4 letter word. no not love. mine has always been based on that 4 letter word. oh wells.

Abang Arman for tmr! love. Abang Omar for next week,