sighness

i seriously miss serious blogging.

i've been blogging like meaningless post. and i've got the feeling that this is gonna be another meaningless post. rofl.

i miss work. like, really seriously. i haven't work since last sunday. went to sunway lagoon from monday to wednesday. thursday went out with the family to buy stuff. friday out to sentosa to bora bora. then to dikir training. today, dikir training from 11 am to 5.30 pm

I'M FREAKING SHAGGED LAH KAN.

seronok lah sangat..

i'll be working on monday. like, yeayy! COME ON DEE! LOLZ. siloso point! WOOHOO!! can see the abang shangri-la. ahaha. monday mr floppy hair won't be working. geez. so is abang rafi. and abang khai.

ohh wells.

see, meaningless post. i'll be damned. ahah.

argh.

i know he'd be working today. but i just don't know where he is now. i just wanna see him like, again. usually rangers would be passing by the beach and everything. but i don't see one at all. argh.

i feel like i'm desperate. i don't know why.

so, i'm at bora bora now. drinking vodkalime. gosh i miss that drink. and i need to puff puff too. i am becoming such a toot. hahaha.

ok gtg. training. hahaha.

hectic

life has been really hard for me these few weeks.

i found out mr floppy hair is married; thanks to my ranger uncle, who, had to tell me that. urggh.. i feel so freaking sucky. gossh.

net's been sucky. oh well.. it's macdonald's network, it's good enuff that they provided it for free. can't really complain much.

been to sunway lagoon recently. geez. was the worst trip that i've had in my life. it was crap. not fun. gee. we should really head somewhere apart from malaysia. it's boring me. really.

i am in need of someone in my life. someone new. won't somebody come forth?

LALALA

as you can see the time, it's waaay past midnight. and, i'm at work.

loll.

hurhur. cafe del mar had some kinda function. like, some dj is in town or something. not much crowd there actually. now, me and my pantats are slacking in the beach carpark office. hurhur, watching BHORAT. wth.

and recently, haha...

i was at workn when i saw the Mr Ranger. The one with floppy hair. =) and we didnt talk. i pretty much tried not to look at him though it was tuff. hahaha. and, when abang nazree's bus came in for Dolphin Lagoon, he was at the back. and i whispered to abang nazree "Shahid is at the back!"

and the bugger.. came out from his bus and actually signalled to him to give his number to me.

WHAT THE HELL!!

paiseh lahhh can.

then the evening, HE was talking to Abang Nazree and i had no idea what abang nazree said to him and abang nazree looked at me and said on the set, "you want or you don't want?"

arrrghh.

of course i wanttt. haha. but i said thanks eh.

and i asked abang nazree what he said to Mr Ranger. he said he can't tell me. wtf.

but i knew he said something about, "she wants to get to know you"

ARRRGHH.

i do. very badly. want to know you.

long silence.

so i haven't been updating.

net's been cut off at home and i've been freaking busy working these few days. now i'm at the beach carpark. huhu.. just finished drinking glen's. hahaha. dayymmn.

nothing much has been happening. dunno wad to update too.

so, yeah, when school reopen, that's when my next update is gonna be.

till then, take care.

think.

time check: 0420 hrs.

ahh yes. i'm still not asleep. not that i can't sleep. i think it sleepless nights always happen to me when my mind is clouded with things which i need to think about and things which i can't get off from my mind. thus, when my sleeping time has been altered, that means, i'll be suffering from humongous eyebags.

abang zaid expects an answer from me tomorrow. and, i only have a vague idea of the answer. he needs a definite answer. i'm gonna be screwed.

yes, he is trying to help me straighten out my thinking. it's just me who's been ignorant about it. that is so me. ignorant as always.

he asked me this.

"do you think you're prepared to be in a relationship? and, do you even think that you're prepared to fall in love?"

ohhh i hate it when someone knows me too well. coz they make me think of something which i don't ever wanna think.

he gave me 2 days to think about it. and it's due in less than 12 hours.

ahh well, he thinks that i'm in a state of denial. yesyes, i know i am. but it's for my own good. he says i'm being unfair to myself.

it's better that i be unfair to myself than i hurt myself.

okay, the whole thing came up because:

abang zaid thinks that i like shahid because he reminds me of amy. so, in actual fact, i don't really like shahid but i like amy. get the picture? pls try to get it coz it's hard for me to explain.

damn it.

i hate it when someone gives me a reality check.

i have to think of an answer like, real soon.

it's 0430 hrs. i'm supposed to wake up in 1 1/2 hrs. yeah geee. i'll be out of society today. will be stationed at the beach tram stop. yeah, like thanks eh cik jamilah.

oh fuck.

no sleep + beach tram stop = TOTAL DISASTER!

fuckfuckfuck.

i hate taking trains in the morning. BAHHHH~ the only route i can think of now is to take the train from lakeside to boonlay and bounce back to Outram.

it's so not gonna be my day.

hopefully, i get to see shahid. =)

ok. that's it. one stick and go to sleep and hopefully, wake up in time.

muchlove.

sighness

the story of the girl was lame. i guess. haha well. i don't know laaaaa.

amy called me just now. hurhur. gile. ingat funfair pe nak call2 org?? LOL! tu motor gi scrap sudah laaaa. kwangg3.. mengamuk seh member when i said that. wakakaka.

i'm like online at 1.23 am! like, miraculously i've got net.

work was fine. was at beach tram stop. geez.

didnt see Shahid today at work. haiiz. and my aunt said that my ranger uncle (her husband) told her that Shahid is a DKK. well, if you don't know, ask around. i've no idea too.

i am in utter boredom!

a story of a girl.

everybody has a story to tell.
everybody has a secret about themselves.

names have been changed to protect the identity of the people involved. (yeah right)

this. is the story of this girl.

this girl has a history waaay back.

Dec 2005. She got to know this guy named Tabby, who works as a ranger at her workplace, while she was getting to know James. So when 2006 came, she met James and they became a couple.

One day, She was hospitalised. James didnt visit her. Tabby did. It was the first time they met each other but she realised that she enjoyed spending time with Tabby more than James.

As her relationship went on, she realised that, she was much much closer to Tabby than James and she began having feelings for Tabby.

She was hospitalised again. and again, Tabby was there.

After a while, her relationship with James deteriorated because of her busy-ness and also because of her parents. James asked for a breakup soon after. She went berserk. She went nuts. she cried. and she cried. and she cried non stop.

but Tabby came in. Tabby talked to her and cheered her up. along with her other friends and family members, they cheered her up and got her back her strength.

and then, Tabby was gone. she didnt know where he went. she missed him so much. and one day he got back to her. he was different. like suddenly he gave her hope. and he dashed it.

but she guessed, her feelings have been in too deep that she kept on loving him.

and one day, when he said he was madly in love with a girl she knew, she cried. and she cried again. she thought,

"Why can't he realise that i'm the one who has been loving him all these while? and why does he keep letting himself get hurt by other girls?"

but, because she loved him, and she wanted him to be happy, she stuck on to him as his good friend. she would advise him, give him strength and make him happy so that he can go on with his pursuit on that girl, since he believed that he really loved her.

one night, Tabby came over to her place and they decided to slack at the void deck. so she brought over her guitar and let Tabby play her guitar. and she teared. Tabby was hurt. She was certain of it. He looked angry but in fact, he was hurt.

At that time, it was hard for her too.

Her friend. His friend. Az told her that he loved her all these while and was pestering her to get into a relationship with him. But she couldn't bring herself to. She loved Tabby.

It was a confusing scene for her. Az loved her. She loved Tabby. Tabby loved the other girl.

She rejected Az but only to know that he made a rumor about her and told Tabby about it. 2 am, she received the meanest message from Tabby, saying good luck in her relationship. She was so fucked up. She tried all sorts of ways to get the message across that she wasnt attached.

and she said this to Tabby..

"why can't u realise that i'm the one who has been loving u all along?"

and he said.

"i don't know why until now, we can't be in a relationship"

she cried. it hurts her too bad. and she realised, thats it. it hurts too much.

so she fell silent. she didnt contact him anymore. it was for a few months, until he came online and told her that he was sack from his workplace.

and that was the end of them.

until recently, she was at work. and she saw this ranger at her workplace. and she teared seeing him.

she thought, it was Tabby. But when she came over to talk to him, it wasn't. His name was Sam. He looked like Tabby, talked like Tabby.

and now, she realised, she likes Sam.

She doesnt know, whether she is in a state of denial. whether, her feelings for Sam was because he reminded her of Tabby.

But the thing that hurt her the most, was that she knew Tabby but she barely know Sam. that hurts her the most.

and now, all is left to fate.

much love,
ChiCka

sooo happy lahhh.

like, i am so happy~

wheee.

yesterday, after wasting $7 on a stupid movie, (the last king of scotland), i went to sentosa to find Abang Nazree. but only to know that he didnt come for work coz he overslept. lolz. okay so, Nazmi and Taufiq were there. and they were like, asking me to go and watch the soccer match lah that they were gonna play under sentosa.

and their excuse was:

"SHAHID is gonna be there!!"

i'm like, thanks eh!

geez. but yeah lah.. i followed them to the ranger station to wait for Abang Nazree. Okay so he came, and.. guess what??

Shahid was in the van as well.

hahaha.. like crap kan?? but he went down at the merlion bus stop to take the express out to vivo coz his bike is there. so yeah, then we met again at the PSA Club's pitch.

and i watched THEM play. haha. please eh. i didnt just watch him play. i watched the rest as well.

OHHHH!

he's a LEFT-LEGGER LIKE ME!!!!

whooooooo!

lolz. okay so screw. i was blushing half the time and i was so unlike myself. i was quiet. hahaa.

so yeah, hahaha. =)

the only question.

WHAT'S WITH ME AND RANGERS??

nyahhahaha.

FUCCCK

BLOODY FUCKKKKK!!!

i kena fine $50 siakk for smoking at the overhead bridge. bloody ass of a security guard. fucking cheebye!!

fucked up giler man. it's just a first warning wad.. fuck. ok so fuck. i don't wanna think about it.

my weekend was great i guess. had soccer on saturday morning. yeah. and we lost. howells, so much for soccer. and work, was ok on saturday. nothing much happend.

but on sunday, i was so happyyyy lah..

ok, so i met Fadli at Harbourfront at 9. then, we started work at 10 but we reached Siloso Point at 10.30. and when i was teaching Fadli the stuff about Siloso Point, the Ranger came. and i had no idea why, i turned my head and looked at him all the way till he stopped his bike. fuck. i made it look so obvious. i mean, like, c'mon lahhh. its been a month since i last saw him.

and, when i went for the 1.30 dolphin show, he was there. omggggg.

and, i saw him like, from time to time lah.

abang zaid didnt help much too. he finally knew who i was referring to. and he wanted to get his number for me. and i was like, no way! like, maluuuu lah. and he said,

"abang tgk dian terlompat2 biler nampak dia. muka merah2, kalahkan clown!"
(whenever u see him, i'll see you jumping around, and u'll blush. even clowns will lose out!)

thanks eh!

then, he called me up when i was busy.. and you know what he said...

"Dian.. he's right in front of me.. your pretty boy.. cute nye dier.. so handsome.."

i was like.. WAHLAO EHHHH!

geeez!

then, after work, my parents wanted to pick me and my ranger uncle up. so, i said, i'll wait at the ranger station (was hoping that i could see him lah.) but well, i didnt.

howells... that's it. i won't be able to see him in a long time.

and not that it helped that my uncle also mentioned Thabri's name in front of me. haha. and i said to my uncle at the ranger station, in front of the k-9 dog:

"si Shahid looks like Thabri."

and the dog suddenly barked non-stop.

so my uncle said: "jangan cakap nama Thabri depan dia. Dia takleh dengar nama Thabri".
(don't say Thabri's name in front of him. He can't hear Thabri's name)

LOL. whatever eh.

but like, i' feeling down uh. i don't know. whenever i think about him, i feel... helpless. low self-esteem. haiiz. i don't know lah eh.

gonna skip 3rd meeting tmr to go to Sentosa.

haiiiz.

and ohhh.

i wanna buy that top! but, i just don't want it to make my boobs jut out so much.

but i bought this top at forever 21.




and yeah, loookkkk!!! my new helmet~!

ok done. see y'all.

heex.

Sandybobandy's display pic is superrrhot. hahaha. yeah2, she likes looking sexy. HAHA.

i am superhungry lah can.

ahh so anyways, people, when you look at the pics on the right side, don't think that Irfan's my boyfriend okay. He's just a very close friend. that's all. nope, not my boyfriend. and nope, i do not have a boyfriend. =)

i'm hating my faci. i'm hating the module.

and, i'm hungry.

baaaaaah.

soccer training today!! goshh. it's been ages since i last played soccer laaah. last year was like, the last time i played soccer. ishishish. i'm freaking rusty already. but i guess sid and the gang have faith in me thats why they're asking me to play. i'm not hoping for anything much, i'm just gonna have fun. =)

lunch, pls.

thankyouverymuch.

i had this.





i know, it doesnt look that nice. it doesnt taste very nice either. but, well, it did made me full.

and...

I LOVE TODAY BECAUSE WE CAM-WHORED!!

Me and Farah and Syasya cam-whored today.. =)

These were from my handphone cam.


looking freakingly pale


see, i know they lupp me the many2. hahs.


this one, i like.


sungguhfake.com


very the boncet lah can. hurhur


heh


yours truly

ok now, for the pics in syasya's hp.


pretty? i know.


syasya doesnt want to stop kissing me. =p


i like this one too


stiff sia.


=)


hug2


awak nak kiss?


apeje


pretty picture


boncet again


shake that booty


yours truly,
ChiCka
so anyway, i dreamt of,

Mr Traffic Management Ranger. GOSSH. i dreamt of Shahid. I guess i havent seen him for such a long time then, wahlao, the dream was soooo vivid lah.

crapness..

for the first time, i'm seriously happy to get my period. =)
happy but wrong timing. iyo. =/

boredomness

my tummy is hurting so bad.

i don't know whether it's the jamu i just bought which is taking effect or the mee rebus which i ate this morning, which, at the stall, i saw a rat.

urggh. it's keeeeeeeling me.

ok now, it feels better.

i've been feeling lousy these few days. i don't know why lah. i don't know whether it's PMS. i don't know.

i feel unwanted.
i don't feel important.

hurhur. talk about low self-esteem. or self-confidence. or self-love.
i guess, it's just the time of the month lah. nothing to worry about. the feeling will go away, like soon.

Jazzy's not in school yet and no one to go smoke with me. i need to fag. i know i need to stop fagging a lot. it's like, 4 packs in 2 weeks is not reasonable for me. but yeah, 1 pack now lasts me 3 days. Gosh. I'm left with 2 sticks now.

i can't buy another pack because i'm left with $20 till monday. and, i can't fag as much because now i have dikir trainings and also, this saturday i've soccer. i need my stamina and my throat. haiiz.

i am damn bored.

abang man just msged me. he said khairul was sacked. the guy was already warned. haiiz. 1 marshal less. aizad and farid are gonna go NS in june. faiz is gonna go this year. oh goshh. one by one my blood bros are gonna go NS.

i found this.



yeah, i guess, i'm feeling this way. haiiz.

breaking down.

i wanna cry.

i'm just so pissed with every single thing. with everyone.

i was jealous. yes, that's because i wasn't used to being left out whenever at work. i'm not used to not being given attention and i'm definitely not used to not being pampered.

i'm not trying to be some attention seeker. yes, i know that she's a new girl and everyone wants to kacau her. but don't expect me to join in to kacau her.

it's already bad enough that i'm trying to get used to having another girl around at work. coz i'm so used to being the only girl at work and everyone gives me attention and pamper me. and now, even my favourite people are not layaning me and kacau her.

i mean, i just don't wanna be left out!

and of course, i'd be moody. what do you expect?

abang zaid says i showed it too much. i couldn't help it.i know he meant well when he asked me to call him to actually tegur me about my moodiness in the bus back to Harbourfront.

but..

in the other case, he was jealous. yes, he msged me at night and asked me why i didn't sit beside him in the bus and chose to sit alone, only to have abang zaid to sit beside me.

and he was different today. he kept saying i'm different. not as manje as last time, and somebody said something about me and him. i don't know lahh. i know nuts.

i don't need this right now.

i'm just so pissed lah. i just wanna breakdown now.

i don't know.

boring days.

i think this week was bad.

i've skipped school on monday because of the hospital appointment.
on tuesday, yeah well, i wanted to skip 3rd meeting but, i didnt coz nobody was free.
on wednesday, i skipped school and woke up at 5pm.
on thursday, i went out of school at 10 am.
on friday, today, i woke up at 2 pm.

hurhur. and well, i was at Sentosa yesterday while waiting for Irfan. And Michael, the beach tram driver, said this,

"You should consider yourself lucky. U're already in Poly and you're skipping school. Do you know how many people want to go to poly badly but they can't? There's a lot of them! Some of them have to complete ITE for 2 years then come to poly. You must think lah. You only have a year more to go.."

It was like, *SMACK!*

yesyes, i know i should take school seriously. but yeah well, i will soon.

and Cikgu is hounding me for the instructors for Dikir. Shit. Need to call them up already. Ishh. Paiseh though.. but gotta do it. And yeah speaking of which, i will be helping a group out in Dikir. Well, just to get the experience i guess.

So yesterday, i was kinda pissed off in class and just walked out of class. Was gonna meet Irfan at 1230.

But i was like, damn early lah can.. So went in to Sentosa and went to meet my boys. Saw Farid, Faiz and Tian Chan. I miss em all so much. Then talked for awhile. Went back to VAC to smoke. and Abang Nazree asked for songs from my laptop. Then yeah, typically, i guessed right. Irfan was gonna be late.

So hung out with the pakciks, smoked, and went out.

Met Irfan and went to have lunch at LJS. Saw Shaeee! haha. she said Irfan was cute. haha.. okok.. who doesnt think that he's cute kan? -_-" hahaha. yaya.. he's cute.

so walked around vivo for hours.. he bought shades and the memory card + micro sd. then went to jurong point. yeah and WE shopped. haha.. he bought 3 shirts and a necklace and i bought meself shades and a Body Shop perfume!

went to smoke and headed home. and yes, now i know, boys can be worse shoppers than girls. haha.. but it was fun lah. like, really fun. hehehh.

today, i just didnt have the mood to go to school. woke up at 2 plus.

ohhhh and, i guess i bored all of you with what i did the past few days. haahaha. ahh well. i'm bored waddd.

WORK TMR!!!

wheeeee.

ChiCka<3

cranky

i'm getting more and more agitated when he chats with me. hurhur. the ex.

no, i do not want to go out with you.
no, i actually do not want to be friends with you anymore.

and,

can u just leave me alone?

urgh, irritating.

and so, i can't go online at home anymore. which sucks when it comes to weekends. so, i'll probably be online whenever i'm in school. so, yeah.. more reasons for me to go to school often huh.. i'm just getting lazier and lazier to go to school. bahh. especially with 2 more weeks left of school. arrgh.

i've stuffed myself with banana and chocolate waffles. and now, because i was so tamakk, i bought another chocolate waffle which i don't think i can finish. sheesh. so much for diet. but of course, i don't think i'd be eating dinner. yeah, go home, take medicine and sleep till tmr morning, hopefully. hahaha..

i miss work like, oh so much! i didnt work last weekend coz it was mama's birthday last sunday. i should've worked sia on saturday. urgghhh.

ok. i've got nothing much to update on actually.

it just hurts to know. i shouldn't have asked.

work.

end of 4 days of work. and now back to school.

the last few days were totally slacky i'd say. it's as if sentosa is suffering from bad business (choy!). but yeah, there was really a major difference in the crowd numbers compared december and january.

but these few days were great because i saw the marshals bonding together, finally. it's something which i've been wanting to do for quite some time. i have to thank cinemania for that, though it's already closed. and because of the closure, it brought my marshals closer to each other, not just in work but outside work.

on sunday, 9 marshals went to watch cinemania together during the last show for the day. it's very rare to get 9 marshals together at the same time. it's really cool lah. =) and i took this opportunity to take pictures with my marshals. and~ it's our first ever group pic! hehh.


The Guys.


6 guys and 1 girl


Me and MK.


Me and MK again. LOL.


Me,Limei, Melissa


Me and Faiz.


Me and Aizad Skip.


Me and Farid


Me and Nisham


Me and Tian Chan


Me and Farid


Aizad Fucking Faiz

Ok then for Monday,


Goodbye Cinemania.


Me and Nisham again.


Big Dee and Small Aizad. LOL


and i was working on monday too. it was totally slacky. i was at harbourfront. and it was the first day of sentosa express opening. geexz. harbourfront was totally normal. like, zilch. hurhur. i saw ali romeo tho. hehhh. he told me to call him if i wanna take the train from vivo.

after harbourfront, went to dolphin lagoon. and guess who i saw???

THE RANGER GUY!!!

omggggg. i was so happy laaaaah. hehhe. he asked me if i was stationed there and i said yeah. then he went off.

and at night, i took the express train back. met my family at vivo. then took aken to take the express train. and at beach station, a whole group of rangers board the train!!!!

GOSSSHHHH.

and, Shahid was there lah. and gawwwdd. he saw me and aken. and i was just thinking that maybe, he thought Aken is my son. Arghhhh. depression ahh.

Then Tuesday i was working too. I didnt see Shahid though coz he's working night shift. BAAAAH. but i took pics again. nyahhha.


me and abang zaid.


me and my name tag


jakonism

sighness. not gonna see him for a long time. bleaarghh.

nice suprise.

net is being such a bitch. can't log in to msn. hurrr. that sucked.

even myspace is taking such a long time to load.

so, me and Linda, we're at Shaw House Mac now. yes, we skipped school. and shit, i missed my 3rd Maths UT consecutively. damn cb. we waited for a cab for like, half an hour under the rain and still no cab so we gave up uhh. and came here, like any other days when i skipped school with Sandy, we'd come to Shaw House Mac.

oh yesyesyes! i've got a superterrificfabulistic news!!

i was sleeping last night at 8 plus, and someone called. i didnt recognise the number nor the voice. but i didnt know why i wasn't irritated at the fact that someone called me when i was sleeping. and i wasnt rude either. i was quite polite, in fact.

and i asked who the person was. and he said, "kawan lama tapi baru tapi lama" which meant.. "old friend but new but old" i was like"..."

and lastly he said.. "Ni Amy lahh"

i was so shocked that, i sat upright immediately from lying down. i was like, "Amy as in Amy amyyy?"

hahahaha. oh yesyesyes. Amy as in Thabri Amy. The Mr Ex-Ranger Amy. =))

i was so shocked. i didn't expect him to call me again. but he did. and talking to him again was great.. just like how we used to talk. our loyarness, arguments and debates. aha.. it was great. i thought that there no chance of us talking again. but yeah, we are.

just so happy lah. =)

ohh and you know, i just changed my myspace main pic to the pic which i went to tan with sandy and josephine. and, in 2 days, i've got 7 friend requests. geez. and i've got a few requests from African Americans. weirdness.

and finally, my myspace is active. haha.. if not, i couldn't be bothered with myspace.

i just don't get it with myspace actually. i mean, in friendster, i have like 740++ people in my first account but i know them even i'm not close to them. like, i know where i got to know them from. but myspace, people just add for the sake of adding, and then some, never msg or whatsoever and like, i don't even know who they are lah.

ohh whatever.

after this, i'm going to far east. then, no idea where to. maybe today going to meet Fan to get his passport size pic for the Islander thing. baaah.

bored.

woohoo!

i did the facial last night and it was greaaat lah.

it was supposed to be 2 hrs but then it dragged to 3 hours. and the lady who did my face was great. she talked to me in mandarin all the way. =) what a way to improve my mandarin huh?

so, she did my eyebrows and she also gave me a face massage, head massage and a shoulder massage. how cool is that! and it's only $39. coolness. might be going there again next month. all thanks to abang man for all these pampered stuff.







heex. that's MY helmet. abang said so. he bought 2 helmets. one for him and one for me and that's mine! =) one day i'll take a pic of the bike. it's super nice okeh. it's red! my favourite color. and it's a cbr 150.

okeh. cik jamilah just called me just now and.. i'll be working at 9 am on Saturday. That means.. i'll be stationed at Harbourfront. and THAT means.. i can see Shahid. Coz i figured he'll be working night shift on Friday and the next day he'll be be out at 9 plus. So, yeah. AND. on Monday AND Tuesday, i'll be at Harbourfront too. So, yeah.

gosh. i'm obsessed.

these few days i've been really good. single. no stress. no pressure. except for one by fan. so, i've been good.

i'll just run away at any sign of guys trying to get close to me. haha. it got me really scared, really. i'm just not interested in getting to know anyone new. just let me be.

the other day, i was chatting with Kieysha. and i guess there were some thoughts and views that we shared in common. it's been quite a while since i had a view/perception exchange chat, so, i thought it was kinda cool uh. =)

and i guessed for her, she's got really good, no wait, excellent i'd say, patience and tolerance. i'm not like that anymore. i used to be. but now, i can't. somehow my realistic side keeps telling me stuff which, will overcome my feelings. in a way, it's good yet, perceiving at times. ah anyways, it was a good chat.

speaking of good chats, i had my nightly chats with Fan. Hah.. which reminded me of the time when we met last Friday. It was gerek uh. Like, there was this once that me, him and kak diana went to Forever 21 and there was this bra which actually caught my eye. and it was so interesting that i made such a big fuss of it. and the salesgirl came in and said,

"yes, it's interesting yeah? but it's only for C cups."

and i'm like, okay. this is the part where i shut up about my boob size.

and then the salesgirl, filipino i guess, actually said..

"oh.. i think u can fit in them"

and Fan was like, sniggering laaah. Geex. She was looking at my boobs! LOL. yes, i know i can fit in them but, like, you don't have to say it out loud you know. Gee. But that night was great i guess. Me and Kak Diana gave Tiara a surprise birthday thing. it was one of the first i've done and it was like, such a last minute idea.






Lil-Ti, ChiCka and Elia


Me and Kak Diana.
yeah, give some recognition to my 3 favourite girls.

you know what, i'm blabbering too much. everything's OH-SO-RANDOM. hahaha. bleargh.

ciao all.

do not lie to me. because i will find out sooner or later. try all u might to hide it, but i can always find out. so, don't try.