sick again~

haiz~

can u believe it? i'm sick again.. like i just got better the other day and i fell sick again yesterday. and it's like, damn bad lah. cough like wanna cough blood. flu like my nose wanna drop off. haiz~ I'm a sickly kid.

berpenyakit agaknye aku. biler nak mampos agaknye.. hurhur.

didnt go school today. too tired, too stressed, and my eyes were swollen. dun ask why.

but i went for Drama rehearsal and it finished quite early, like 730 and we're done. and all of us went for dinner at kfc and then went to smoke at the jetty-like area at the mrt stn. sigh. i'm smoking again. haiz...

and we're like drunkards down there. haha..

tak tau sangat lah babyyy..
ape lah kambeng..
aah siak..

wah seh. follow my style sia u all.. how come got aah siakk and all? wahaha.. tak tau sangat lah baby was by Apiz. den everyone followed. haha..

ape lah babyy?
kenape babyy?

must have the baby at the back.

i've been feeling dreadful these few days. i havent cried for so long. i dun like to cry. but i did ytd. and i dun wanna be reminded of what happend yesterday.

to you,

i'm sorry. i am really2 sorry.
i noe i'm an egoistic bitch. i dun care abt how ppl will feel sometimes. all i think abt is me. abt how i feel, about my feelings and it's all abt me me me. abt how i'm hurt. how i'm not being cared and stuff.

but, i never asked u abt how u feel, or think about how u're gonna feel. and i'm sorry that i cant take jokes and take things seriously.

dearest,

i'm sorry to make u feel the way u're feeling. i've told u how i felt so i dun think i need to put it here. i'm sorry that yesterday ever happend. and i hope that it wont ever happen again.

which girlfriend would want THAT to happen. although i said i dun mind, but duh, of coz i mind.. i dun wanna share u wif anybody. =''( i really dun.

i dun wanna lose you. i felt like i was really gonna lose you ytd.

i love you dearest. from the bottom of my heart, i really do love you. and i miss you so.

i've been listening to this song. it's malay lah so maaf2 lah ye.. but it's suits my situation now lah.. been crying last night while listening to this song.

just these few stanzas..

and i thought of this if i was in his shoes..

Dalam usikku merajuk seketika
Laluku pergi meninggalkan dirimu
Tanpa ku duga
Lilin menjadi bara
Gurauanku jadi dilema prasangka

Kau menyangka aku pergi kerna dia
Yang tak pernah wujud dalam alam cinta
Belum sempat ku jernihkan suasana
Engkau pula yang hilang
Entah ke mana

and this from my side of the story.

Andai dapat
Ku undurkan putaran dunia
Inginku ubah semula kata
Dan tingkahlakuku yang salah
Agar kita dapat seiring
Di mercu asmara

Tak ingin lagi
Dan tak mahu lagi berpisah
Bukan dengan kerelaan hati
Penyesalan yang tiada kesudahan
Ku tersepit dalam jerat sendiri

but aniways, all's been forgiven. although i think we need some time to pujuk hati sendiri. hopefully things will be good. sigh..

and yes, there's one more chorus of a song that i'm feeling.

You can call me selfish, But all I want is your love
You can call me hopeless (hopeless)
Baby cause I'm hopelessly in love
You can call me unperfect
But who's perfect? Tell me what do I gotta do
To prove that I'm the only one for you

What's wrong with being selfish??

I'll be taking up your time
Until the day I make you realize
That for your there could be no one else
Ive just gotta have you for myself
Baby I would take good care of you
No matter what it is you're going through
I'll be there for you when you're in need
Baby believe in me,
Cause if love is a crime
Then punish me, I would die for you
Cause I don't want to live without you
Oh what can I do?

i miss you.

life is incomplete wifout my takuhiro,
ChiCka