realisations

i had fun chatting with Kak Tini about jantan caberet tuh.
hurhur.. there's more to what i know and she filled in a lot to what i don't.
and i thank God, i have kept my distance from him.
if not, i won't know what will happen to me.

and chatting with Ruby was deliriously fun.
Ruby's a secondary schoolmate.
and of course, we were talking about guys.
back then, me and Rubs always change guys every few weeks.
haha. i don't know whether she still does ar,
but i am. heee. :)

but chatting with Rubs makes me realise that,
no matter what happens, i still love my man.
coz guys will come and go,
but the man, will always stay with me.

hmm, then again, chatting with Kak Tin makes me think a lot.
like, why do some people cheat?
and in general (not trying to point fingers or anything),
why are married or engaged couples, proned to cheat on their spouses?

haiz.
maybe, i'm not up to the age or the maturity to understand.
maybe not yet.

oh wells,
then again when i think of what my cousin said to me,
"are you sure about using the word love?"
at first i was.
and now, i'm just doubting the whole thing.

Kak Tini told me this.

"yeah.. enjoy.. work earn big bucks.. manja kan diri sendiri.. love yr life.. kalau u really love that someone keep it.. sial cam mane pon sabar je.. ada hikmah di balik kesabaraan tu.. Or keep going around to look for 1..

sampai tua pon tak pe.. asal kan kita puas ati.. bak kata kak baya.."

ahakz. thanks ah Kak Tin~ =)

i shouldn't be crying.
i've cried to much in my life.
you're just another setback in my life.

like i've said to myself,
"tak attached but there's someone to be manje with.
but, of course lah, at the end of the month,
i just have to bear the hurt of being left"

i shldnt have gotten myself involved with you.
everything's just wrong.
i used to know everything about me.
i used to be able to control things in me.
but now i cant.

like why i still can't forget about you when i want to.
like why it hurts when i go to work and see the places we went to?

it's fine i guess.
the 3rd one in 2 months.
hah. i should be getting used to this.