PIX FOR GIRLS DAY OUT AND ITQAN CAMP

Been really2 bz these few days.. met up wif Aisyah, Mazlinda and Shae (my primary school friends) that Thursday after Drama.. Hurhur.. I came the latest.. as usual.. haha.. okie.. so here are the pics..

Ahakz.. Tts all..

Den, on Friday... Had this ITQAN CAMP.. Students from the other polys also there la.. So, RP, we had me, Fadilah, Adila and Suhaila.. For guys, there were only Fir Olive and Big Zul.. Only 6 of us compared to 20 SP students.. hurhur..

But then i think RP students were the kecoh-est.. Haha.. Fir and Zul were the kecoh-est siakk.. haha.. Of coz la.. Zul was the made the Amir (leader) of the whole ITQAN grp. And Fir mcm assistant la g2.. He volunteered ah.. Haha.. Den the girls, Fadilah was like.. The selamba-rest la.. Haha.. Ade je dier nye comment.. Hahaha.. Kecoh2.. haha..

On the first night, we made a new friend.. EEN!!! hehe... We look alike u noee.. touching kan?? Only that she wears a tudung la.. she's so huggable.. aha..

But i think the camp benefitted me a lot la.. made me realize how much i have ignored religion in my life.. it's sad la.. and den, the last day, some of the girls cried coz of the mind travelling thingy.. something abt family la.. u noe, the close-ur-eyes-the-teacher-made-u-visualize-the-situation-wif-music-on thingy..

Then there was this Ishak guy.. ahha.. funny.. he present, and he kept on hee-heeing wifout realizing it.. ahaha... then like, everyone kept on disturbing him.. including the Ustaz and Pak Utih.. haha..

Okay so, wad does ITQAN means..

I - INTEGRITY

T - TEAMWORK

Q - QUWWAH

A - AMBASSADOR

N - NEW AGE

It's based on the Al-Quran. Its meaningful lah..

And my team name was Vroom. But then, the whole ITQAN, for year 2005 batch, we named ourselves ITTIHADUL QULUB. which means.. UNITY OF THE HEARTS.

PICS!!

Me not co-operating. Coz we're told to make work difficult for the leader.. So I DID.. Sorryyy Haswani..! hehh..

Su, Me, Fad.. Sempat aje tgk cam.. aha

GAMES!! Hehe..

The Guys

The Girls

ITTIHADUL QULUB

And there were the funny ones.. ahaha...

Tts Ishak.. ahaha.. noo... HEEHEEE..

FIR PUN KENE!! haha..

OKAYY... Haha... Tts all... Now, i wanna pack my stuff.. Going to M'sia later.. Will be back on Friday or Saturday...

Take Care ppl!!!

Muaxx!!

One Wish

One Wish By Ray J

Damn baby
Just don't understand where we went wrong
I gave you my heart
I gave you my soul
I gave you...

As a matter of fact I was the one who said I love you first
It was about eight years ago, don't act like you don't know
We were sittin' at home in your mama's livin' room
Cause, we couldn't be alone
See your mama knew I was something else, she knew how I felt
Back then we were in school; and that's your favorite excuse
Growin' up I was a fool; and I can't deny missin you
Listen and don't trip
I think I need a bottle with a genie in it
Here's my wish list

First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one

If I had one wish, we'd be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you'd be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we'd run away
Makin' love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
can you be my wife, make it right this time

If I had one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish

Now tell me is this the only way I can get you right back in
If so then searchin' I’ll go, then I can have you for sure
Then you’ll be lovin' me, holdin' me, kissin' me
So girl don't tell me what I'm feelin' is make believe
I swear if I lose a second chance with you
I wouldn't know what to do
I'd probably check myself into some kind of clinic
I couldn't be alone because without you I'm sick

Here's my wish list
First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one

If I had one wish, we'd be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you'd be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we'd run away
Makin' love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
can you be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish

I don't even know how we ended upon this road
And, even though we are grown, Girl I just want you to know
If I had one wish, we'd be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you'd be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we'd run away
Makin' love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
can you'd be my wife, make it right this time


Ayul made me listen to this song on the phone. He said, just focus on the lyrics.. But then i didnt noe the song b4 so i had a hard time listening out for the lyric arh..

But then i checked out the lyrics just now.. It was quite meaningful lah.. But i wondered why he wanted me to listen to that song. *wondering* bleah..

Well, u noe, i think i'm not attached. hurhur.. well, yeah.. i'm single.. dun ask me y.. it's impossible.. but, i give up on guys already.. i just wanna be single for now, i just wanna concentrate on my life, in making money and also on my ccas..

Okay well, been really2 tired these few days.. Saturday was Zouk Out at Sentosa.. And i worked from 10 am to 10 pm.. Whoo.. Hakz.. Den reached home at 12 plus.. Went online for a while.. Den sleep, had to wake up at 9 the next day coz work starts at 1.. Anyway, that Zouk Out nite, i there was this cute new guy who just started work the day b4.. His name is Hazmi and he's 18.. Cute lah..

Ahakz.. Den the nx day, worked from 1-9.. Den reached home at 11.. Went to Johor wif my mum at 12 plus wif my aunts and their friend.. Reached home at 5 am.. Didnt sleep.. And went to breakfast wif my family at 10.. Hurr.. Den went to meet Nadia and Shyla for Dikir at NP.. But then Shyla couldnt join us for dk coz her grp marah2 her.. so she just sat at the side lah..

Hurr.. Bz siak dis few days.. my body is aching.. ergh..

Now, a 32 yr old guy thinks i'm interested in him.. just bcoz i sent the msg,

"though we hardly meet, it doesnt meet that u are forgotten coz u haf never left my mind.. c0z u're always somebody so special and nice to me.."

and he thinks that i like him!! GOSH! He's a driver wif Sentosa lah.. Not married.. I treat him like a big bro only.. And he's like, msging me evryday, calling me syg and stuff.. ergghh.. irritating lah pulakk..

eishh2.. okie2.. wanna eheemm.. hehe.. ciggies2... haha..

NITES!!

Overworked..

OHH MYYY!! I havent sleep for the past 30 ++ hrs... Sighh.. Work at Zoukout was fun.. 10 am to 10 pm.. den yesteday was 1 pm to 9 pm.. Whee... Okay2.. Dun wanna talk abt work..

I got this quiz thingy from Ika's blog.. Quite fun lahh.. hee.. Let's see wad my results are..

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Well... I guess that's true abt me..

OKAY NEXT!!

Your Ideal Relationship is Casual Dating

Maybe you're looking for love... But mostly you're looking for fun. You could get serious with the right person. For now, though, you're enjoying playing the field.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

THIS IS SO TRUE!!!

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ) You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented. Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader. You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do. You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

The Three Question Personality Test

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Howells... that's basically about it.. tired to do another one.. i need sleep.. sheesh..

i'm in love!!

wheeee... back to being in a relationship.. ahakz..

okayy.. got myself a new boyfie.. ahakz.. well, we're like 4 days old?? ahakz.. yeahh.. hehe.. can't believe that this is happening again!! =)

So anw, got to noe him thru friendster.. he added me there.. and den add in msn.. and we chat2 lahh.. and he's like, so cute... (he's hott btw... ahhhhhhh!! hehe.. ). He's staying in Sengkang and skooling and Ite Tamp.. Ouhh geez.. Tts where Ayul is staying and skooling too... bahh~

well, just hope that we can last for some time.. hakz.. and i really hope this relationship would be a lot2 better.. i dun want it to be like my past relationship arh.. and i really hope he's not like THAT guy..

speaking of which, i've made up my mind not to be nice to him anymore.. him as in THAT guy larh.. i mean, i admit that it was my mistake to type about him in my blog thus making everyone hate him.. howells, if he's not gonna be nice to me, then i dun see the point in being nice to him.. coz he's never gonna change..

apart from that, well... how has my life been??

okay, so been busy wif drama.republic rehearsals for open house.. we're doing physical theatre based on the epic story of romeo and juliet.. and i'm the gang leader of juliet's buncha frens.. hehh... basically loadsa dancing... so, just ended drama camp at fairy point chalet 6.. haks... i went back on the 2nd day coz i was really2 sick.. bahh~ missed out on all the fun..

ouhh yaa.. busy wif mcg also.. though i didnt go for tarian practice for 2 wks already... i've been sick for a week already and its still not getting any better.. maybe it's because of the ciggies??

OKAY SO I REALLY2 NEED TO STOP SMOKING!!!!

It's really affecting my health... But i'm happy that i've cut down a lot already.. One pack can last me like 4 or 5 days.. like, i take 2-4 sticks per day now.. it used to be 7-10 sticks per day.. now okay lahh.. can manage...

ooh!!! it's gg to be 2 oclock soon.. gotta get home.. i'm in the school library now.. had mcg meeting dis morning till 12 plus.. and my hands are numb now maaan.. shucks.. got like a patch of blueblack on my hand coz of the coldness... and i'm hungryyyy!!

WORK TML!! WHEEE!! ZOUK OUT!! but then i'll be working from 10am to 10 pm tml.. and 1-9 on Sunday.. Okay. Wheee.. ahaha..

I FINALLY UPDATED. *Alhamdulillah*

Egotrip

My heart is crying so much.

I've been hurt too much.

I've been egoistic. I'm forced to be that way. I dun want to be seen as weak. By being that way, i noe i've hurt u a lot. But it's nothing compared to the hurt u've given me in the past. I've been mean. But I have to be.

I dun want to be the same person u knew in the past.
I dun want u to noe that i've missed u so much.
I dun want u to noe that i still think of u.
I dun want u to noe that i dun want a replacement for u.
I dun want u to noe that i still love u.

I've moved on. Yes, i do have all those feelings above. But..

I dun want to be the weakling u thought i was.
I dun want to be the one chasing after u like i did the last time.
I dun want to be the low self motivation girl u said i was.
I dun want to be everything that i was when i was wif u.

God knows how I've been these few days. I'm torn apart inside. Memories flash themselves in my head. My heart stabs me wif insecurities.

DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH I LOVED U THEN??

The feelings never fade. It was the most challenging relationship that i've ever had. But it was one of the best relationship. U made me realize a part of me that i never thought existed.

Wif u, i gave so much love and patience. I never thought these 2 existed in me until u came along. But now, i dunno if i can ever be like that to anyone again.

U've been my motivation. But now, let ME by MY OWN motivator. Let me cure the pain in my heart and decide what i want in life.

I'm Shagged.

Omigawd!!! Damn tired siaaa...

Been really involved these few days..

Okay so the ending to my bday tt day.. I skipped 3rd meeting wif George, Sid, Wan and Santosh.. Okay den, Ash said meet her at Phoenix Park Cafe coz she wanted to give me something.. And i was like, okay.. And when i reach there wif Sid and Wan.. It turned out that the PJ guys and girls planned a surprise for me.. Haha.. They had a chocolate cake for me.. Whee.. Haha.. Didnt expect that at all lah.. And Dr Alvin Chan was there too... They had like, a birthday cum farewell party for us.. Sho sweet...

THANK EUU DARLINGS! MUACKS!!

Okie den after that went to MCG Meeting.. Got bullied by RepFus3 gals.. bleahh.. aha.. BbbbaBbbbyy.. tts wad they call me.. LOL. And i exchanged stick wif Fir Olive.. He got Sampoerna Red.. I got More Red from George.. Bila2 Sampoerna! Hehe..

Den, my parents picked me up frm sch, den we went to Changi to eat Nasi Ayam Penyet.. It's nice lah.. Hehe.. Den we went to the beach... And THEY BOUGHT DARK CHOCOLATE CAKE FOR ME!! OMGGGG!! I melted siaaa.. I finished like 1/4 of the cake... aaha.. And their present to me was a set of green accessories.. Green jade bracelet wif silver flowers, green choker, and silver earrings wif green sparkles.. hakz... Nicee...

Den after tt went home..

And yesterday, my cousin got married and helped out at her wedding uh.. And den, at night, i was taking food to eat and someone came up to me and called out my name.. And i was so shocked to see her..

Haha.. She's my sec sch fren lah.. But she quit sch in sec 3.. and havent seen her since then.. and all of a sudden, she appeared at my cousin's wedding.. And it turned out that she was helping wif the catering.. Haha.. Den i chat wif her thru till 12 plus.. Haha..

And todayy.. OMG.. The kendarat guys were sooooo cute!!!! But too bad.. They're younger than me.. Shux.. They look matured siak.. But then young... Blearghh..

Howells... Exhausted to the max siaaaa...

UPDATED!!! HAHA..

Happy Birthday To Me.

I AM SO GONNA FAIL MY BASIC SCIENCE UT2. YES. IT'S CONFIRMED. I didnt attend the classes for the topics that came up today. And i did 3 out of 7 qns. 13 marks out of 30. And the 13 is not a confirmed mark coz i may get lesser than that. Lol. Sigh.. I'm so gonna have to retake my science next semester. IN YEAR 2. SHUCKS.

Okay, i did another question while the fac was behind me.. Hurhur.. Blogging during UT, HOW COOL CAN THAT BE? Hakzz.. So i did 4 qns out of 7, 16 marks out of 30 and i'm left wif 6 mins.. Bleargh..

HOWELLS. It's my BIRTHDAY TODAY!! haha.. Linda bought me green stuff which was soooo prettyy!! hehe.. she bought me a shawl.. It's like a netting shawl lahh.. I think it's a belt kinda thingy.. It's lime green in colour.. And there's also a pair of earrings wif it!! Aww Shucks... Pweeetyyyy.. heh..

(1 MIN OF TEST LEFT)

Okay, so.. I havent really planned on where to go today..

5
....
4
...
3
...
2
...
1
...

Time's UP.

Anyways...

Today, haha.. skipped 3rd meeting and lepak-ed wif Sid, George, Wan and Santosh at the library.. Gee.. I have MCG Meeting later at 430... Of all days, on my bday.. hurhur.. nvm lah eh.. Last day of school also wadd... Hehe..

Ashh.. Thanks for ur gifts.. Wheee... It's nice siaa.. She bought earrings, anklets and necklace.. and.. i dunno wad else u're gonna give me later... haiyooo.. but thanks anyway.. love ya girl..

well, HIM msged me to wish me happy bday yesterday.. and we quarrelled over some stuff.. and i cried.. shux.. sigh.. whatever arh eh..

i'm happy wif my life now okay.. and

I ALREADY MOVED ON.

Updates

Okay.. Finee.. Updating here... Sheesshh.. Haha..
Howells.. What have i been up to lately??

FRIDAY.

Went to TP's Gemilang wif Nadia and Aiman. Okay, well, i met them at TP arh coz Nadia tumpang Aiman.. So yeah, me solo lah kanz.. Okie, so, we waited for Nadia's cousin to pick us up from the bus stop.. And guess wad?? Her cousin is Yan.. The juara of Panjy.. Lolz.. Den we went to the "auditorium" or smt.. The decoration was nice lah.. I mean, reallyy nice... But then the whole show was a bit boring coz it was all mly dance.. And the game, haha.. hafto blindfold and stuff... gee.. But i enjoyed PST's performance arh.. Totally great.. I thought Nira was going to perform.. but they didnt.. howells, was still glad to meet Lela, Ain and Munira.. =)

Den saw Ayul Dux, Abg Naim and Mamat... And the Oh So Famous IRFAN KASBAN. Lolz. He's the president of TP's Malay Arts Grp. Liked his outfit. And yeahh, I talked to Amin Diva, the Vice President of MAG.

the moment i stepped into that room, my eyes searched for u.. i asked around for u.. but it seems that u weren't there that day.. disappointed as it may seem.. but i actually came to see u that day.. and that night when we chat, i felt nothing.. coz u're so dear to me that i cant love u.. if i love u i'd lose u.. so it's best that i be frens wif u than to lose u..

SATURDAY.

Show at Arif's condo!! Lolz! Imagine uhh.. The show was at 615 but we reported at 1130.. Okay so me and Nadia came the latest.. We reached Simei at 1215.. Hurhur.. But the waiting time for the performance was great lah.. We jammed wif the instruments.. Hehe.. And the term KANAK-KANAK ISTIMEWA terkeluar.. coz of Fadilah.. Nyahahas.. K.I num 1 is Fad, K.I 2 is Tetsu. K.I 3 is Nadia.. Heh..

So, the show was great lah.. It went well.. *Alhamdullillah* And we got a cert of appreciation and also $100 gift.. WHEEEEE... Lurveee Dylz!

*********

Okayy.. So, these few days... Been feeling lonely... Well, there's this guy who's been msging me and stuff.. But i just feel so empty inside.. I dun haf any feelings for him as well..

Wad's suckier is that i've been thinking abt Ayul these few days.. It's just so irritating.. Okay, Ayul as in my ex Ayul.. Not Ayul Dux.. Haha.. Kinda missed the times wif him.. But i noe that he's not worth it.. Raaaaa... The torment!!

I'm just afraid to be in a relationship again. I'm afraid the same things will happen again.. It sucks.. But at the same time, i'm kinda lonely coz no one's been calling me up to talk to me at night.. I'm bored maaaan...

I'm in a state of confusion.

Somebody please save me.

Lonely

Ahh yes.. Loneliness seems to set in...

Did i mention that HE, as in AYUL, called me a few days back? Yeap.. he did.. He said he just called to tell me that i called him the other day.. Gee.. Thanks.. Like as if i didnt noe about that stupid incident which -i-forgot-to-lock-my-keypad-and-his-name-was-the-last-name-on-my-phonebook-so-it-just-dialled.

Lol.

Been feeling rather lonely recently. haha. well... its just that, Ayul kept popping in my mind.. its weird. Haizz...

I'm having weird feelings as well.. dunno how to explain it.. i'm confused. tts all i can say.. its one or the other..

Nyahhh~

Drama rehearsals start tml.. Wheee!!!

Okay..

Nites ppl..

*Sigh*

A day in History.

lalalala~

FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME THIS SEMESTER, I ENJOYED CLASS!!

Ouhh yess!! It was fun!!

Okay, so my team was supposed to do a research on this building in Queenstown. The abandoned one beside the cinema.

So yeah, we took loadsa pics!!!

Hahaha.. yeappss.. it was reaaaaallyy fun...

And i bet u guys didnt noe that the abandoned building was once a market, a food center and a storey of provision shops... Nyahaaha... And it was opened my Queen Elizabeth II in 1957..

Cool Stuff..

Yeahhh.. Hurhur.. So that was in the morning..

Ouhh geeee.. Sleepy maaan..

Nitess.

whoo wheee

OoOoh WHeee...

Yesterday was Sandy's and my brother Aken's bdayy... *muacks* But because my dad was working yesterday so we celebrated Aken's bday on Wednesday night... So, yesterday i went out wif the PJ peeps to celebrate Sandy's bday!

WHEEEEE~!

Okie so, after sch, went to Sandy's class.. I gave her a makeover... So pweeety alreadyy.. Haha.. Den we go town to watch Just Like Heaven at 7... Den, we went to Shaw House arh... After that they decide to eat at Pizza Hut.. Sandy belanja'ed us.. OMG! it was nice lahhh... hehehe.. ppl belanja of coz nice rite?? hehe... den we took loadsa pics.. =)))

Sandy and Kian Wai

Sandy and Josephine

Jo, Sandy, Ash, Me. Black tops and skirt.. =)

Bully lar Sandy..

Yong Quan and Sandy

Yong Quan, Kian Wai, Sandy

Yong Quan, Kian Wai, Sandy

Jo, Ash, Me

Us again..

Us...

That INNOCENT look

Yes, i've put on a bit of weight.. STOP LOOKING AT ME ASH! haha.. blueh..

PJ Angels.. heh

Us...

Ash and Me again.. =)

It was WHACK!! Hahaha... Den after Pizza Hut, we went to Cineleisure to watch the movie.. But we were late, so decided to go shopping.. So, went to Heeren and SANDY GOT THIS NICE LEVIS SHIRT!!! OMGG! AND IT COST $45.50. *faints*

Den, we walked to Plaza Singapura... And SANDY BELANJA'ED us Secret Recipe.. OMG!!! I bought a CHEEZE CHOC and Hot Mocha.. Omggg!! It was.... *faints*

After that, i went home...

And when i was at Jrg East Mrt Stn, there was dis guy who "accidentally" stepped on my flip flops.. Okay fine.. so i just got dis pissed off face on me.. And he said sorry.. He's a mly guy abt 24 yrs old lah..

And he was like, wad's ur name? how old r u? y the pissed off face lah.. AND GUESS WHAT?? HE TRIED TO HOLD MY HAND!!!

WTF

And i pulled back my hand and walked as fast as i could.. den i called Ash and she didnt pick up.. BLEAH. So, i called HIM. Hehe.. first time talking to him.. heh.. And he was like, "tak penah2 umur deni nak call, ape hal sehh... haha..." okayy lah.. den he talked to me till i reach home...

=)

Happy Nyahh~

Hehehe

Ok dahhh~

Debating stuff

Ouhh shucks.. Do i have to???

Gee.. Thanks arh Ashz...

Hurhur..

So... Yeah...

here's the game. introduce 10 quirks or idiosyncrasies of yours on your blog, following which you are free to pick 5 more people to do the same thing..

1. i get over break ups like freaking fast.. (2 days enuff? haha..)
2. i have a fetish for black stuff. try gg shopping wif me.. i'll buy all stuff black..
3. i contradict myself most of the time.
4. different personality wif different people
5. horrible mood swings
6. short attention span
7. i'm slow. (takes me a few secs later to get a joke.)
8. i have short term memory.
9. i'm quiet most of the time
10. I'M NOT LAME. PERIOD. ;)

5 people to do this:

1. Sandy
2. Shahidah
3. Jalilah
4. Yan
5. Patrick

Haha..

Gee i'm bored. Enterprise is killing me.

Haiz... Apai msned me just nw.. But, i just dun wanna chat wif him. He reminds me of Ayul. It sucks.

REFLECTION TIME!!!

Howells... Kinda feeling down today.. Wondering whyy.. Did something go wrong? I just cant take my mind off it.. I'm feeling a glinch of sadness in me but i cant put a finger to wad it is.. Missing him?? Kinda.. But not that bad i guess.. Its not about love.. Well, okayy.. maybe relationships and stuff arh..

Being single is weird.. I mean, u dun get ppl calling u anymore and saying gd nites and i love u to u.. U're just being free. Is that bad? Well, thing is, i dun really mind about being single and stuff.. but sometimes, yeah.. i do get lonely.. i do want someone to talk to and be manja ard wif.. but then, its hard when there's no one who can replace Him.

Yeah, he IS an idiot. He IS an arse.. But, somehow.. after being alone for awhile.. i thought that, no other guy understood me better than him.. Ouhh no.. my eyes are swelling up... gee.. It's just, his style, his way of making me feel loved before all those shit happend.. It's something which i've never felt before.. I'm not saying that i wanna patch things up wif him.. Its just that.. i want someone like him, but better. Someone who'd call me everyday just to talk to me, to manjakan me.. someone to guide me in life and someone who is firm in his beliefs.. And of coz, he shld get along wif my friends and my mum (coz she's also my friend.)

Howells, i'm not expecting any miracles to happen.. i dun want to go around searching for a guy.. hakz.. u noe, it'll be nice if someone just pops up to me and say "hey can i have ur num.." haha.. tt'll be cool.. but gee.. if only life is that easy..

a friend once told me..

" i have gone thru too much that now.. i am no more mister nice guy oredy.." "Jus pissed off at the fact that we gif so much but we get shit in return.." "So i wanna go out n get my retribution.."

all i can say is that, been there done that...

For my age, i think i've gone thru a lot in life.. stuff which ppl would never think of doing and stuff.. i'm not saying that i'm a lover.. nor am i saying that i'm a fighter.. but dun u think that it's a bit passe? U hurt others just to satisfy urself JUST so because u hurt by another person... that's so immature..

I've done all that bastarding and cheating guys.. It wasnt worth it.. Always remember one thing.. Karma. What goes ard comes ard.. I've had my retribution. I learn from there..

Howells, i can go on and on abt dis and it'll never end..

Gtg nw.. Celebrating my bro's bdayy.. Ciaoo..

Him

In class now. Yesh. I'm bored. I'm left out. and I hate my new class. Do i need to emphasize more? Geee...

My previous posts have been damn long indeed.. So unlike me uhh.. And they're like, about what i did on that day and the previous days.. I rarely write about all that..

HoOoo Life is so mundane now.. Apai didnt call me for 3 days... Ouhh heckk... He's not the one that i think about nwadays.. Its another whom i never talk about at all.. Ahakz.. Been liking him for a while lah actually but i kinda shrugged it off coz he's sucha good friend of mine.. Bleah.. I'm just liking him larh.. Not really sure of my feelings though.. Bleargh! Suckkyy...

Known him from chat a few months ago.. So, he's gonna be 17 by the end of the yr (like me) haha.. den he's in TP (i lurve TP guys! haha..) Howells, we kinda lost contact for a while coz we didnt chat wif each other online and stuff.. den a few days after my performance at TP for their cultural awareness thingy, he msned me.. He asked me if i was the one performing wif Nira (TP's dikir girls) and i was like, yeahh.. And he said, he saw me arh.. haha.. but he was afraid it'll be the wrong person tts y he didnt called me up.. geee..

den from there, we chat almost every day.. ALMOST la.. haha.. And we have loadsa things in common... Like, breakdancing, dikir barat and punk music.. =)

And i can chat wif him about anything lar.. He's like, there for me when i need him online la.. =)

But then, i just dun want to encourage myself wif the feelings coz i really love and adore him as a friend..

There was once that he wasnt online for sucha long time.. and when he msned me, i gave him a kiss wink.. and he was like, uhh.... what was that for?? haha... geee..

i havent met him yet.. only pics arh.. and also the dikir pics.. and gee, we're like so closely affiliated sehh... haha..

is he just a fren or more? i wonder.. shld lose the feelings mann.. i dun want lose him as a fren.. bleah...

AYUL DUX! u're the only one who noes who i'm talkin about.. ---eeeeeeeeeeps!--- Haha.. U noe i noe lah kanz... haha.. tk perlu blg ehh.. haha..

And anyway, its just a phase in my life.. mane tauu sooner or later it'll pass...

I'm happier being single.. I'm happier being alone.. Tts me.. I dun want to be tied down now.. i need my space..


BLEARGH.

FUCKED UP DAY

Seriously, i'm seriously, seriously fucked up.

Okay so lets start from the morning..

Went to school.. okay arh.. dah semangat to go to school.. den, i opened my laptop.. i saw dark patches.. den.. my worst fear came true.. My laptop's lcd screen cracked.. BAIK ARH! I was so pissed off that i went out of the class.. cabut larh..

Den me, Sandy and Josephine went to town.. and there was dis salesman hu sold perfumes.. was nice arh.. we bought it for $19.90 each.. it smells nice arh.. Mirage by Giorgio... haha.. den me and Sandy went out of Lucky Plaza arh while Josephine went back to sch to get money.. SEKALI, i saw a familiar pair of specs worn by a guy.. i didnt really see the face arh.. den i asked Sandy to turn back to Lucky Plaza.. Den the guy was walking the opp direction from us.. And u noe wad?? That guy was Mr Boncet!! Omgg!! He's auburn! okay, den talked to him for awhile lah since he already saw me.. kwengs.. and we exchanged num since he changed number..

Den, meet Josephine.. Okie, den.. I was on the way to the mrt stn coz Sandy and Jo had to go back sch.. And i saw Nigel.. A fren online arh.. Haha.. was surprised to see him for the very first time.. aha.. funny sia..

Okay den, i went to Bishan to meet an old friend.. Faizal.. So, yeah.. met him for a while coz he hadta meet his frens after that... Sigh.. By then it was only 445.. Sheesh.. So i walked around Junction 8 till aroun 515.. Den took the train to Bugis..

Damn! Reached there at 545.. So, i went to Seoul Garden and asked the person lah how much each person would hafto pay.. I've got like 6 wif me later on.. And he said, $23.65. Okay fine.. Den after that, one by one msged me and cancel.. Okay so, 2 cancelled on me.. Fine.. Left wif 4.. So i called Ayul Dux and Edry to get a hold of where they were.. And i sat at Starbucks from 615 all the way to 730! Edry came at 7, Ayul Dux came at 730.. They took cab seh.. Kesiannyer..

So yeah.. We went to Seoul Garden and i said table for 4 coz i thought the other guy would be coming.. Den i msged him arh.. I said, "come lah.. we paid for u already.." Like, we paid 30 each sehh.. Den he called me up and started scolding me for paying for him first and stuff and that he said he wasnt about to go to the dinner and that we can meet afterwards wadd.. Like crappy.. I said can pay us later wadd.. And he said whatever lah..

AND HE DID NOT TURN UP!!!

FUCK.

Wasted our time and money sia.. Fuck larh.. Pape larh...

So then after that, me, Ayul Dux and Edry walked to Suntec.. And we talk2 lah.. Werent in good mood either.. So, yeahh.. Me and Edry went back.. Den si Ayul dunno where he went.. Hahaha...

BLEAAHH..

FUCKED UP SIAK. DUIT HILANG G2 AJER.

Update liao!

ouhh crap!

i cant skip sch already maan.. i'll die!! sheesh.. i only come to school like, twice a wk only each week.. and i've skipped basic science like, thrice.. ouhh goshh! i dun wanna retake or repeat sia.. but its like, so difficult when there's no motivation to study in this class... haiz... whatever lah ehh..

sigghh

craps..

i'm like so freakingg tired. haiz..

okay lahh.. I'll update you guys on wad happend recently.. aha.. been bz (and lazy) so, haha.. nw its basic science, so i'll update k... hee...

MONDAY

Okay so wad did i do on Monday..? Okie, Monday kan.. I went to NUH for hospital appointment.. Kwengs.. It's like, i hafta take blood tests every 2 weeks.. its like, so crappy.. coz of the low blood platelet thingy... aaccks..

And THEN, i went to meet Lutfi. aka the Skimmer.. Well, it's a bit weird thoughh... I just dunno how to put it.. We're different.. totally.. i cant just dun think that it can ever be continued.. He's definitely not the type of person that i'd want.. i mean, he doesnt care, doesnt even bother to call or msg.. so wad the heck rite? so, yeap.. silence is the only way.. and i was like sooo shocked to noe that he's Ain's cousin! omgg! small singapore...

howells...

TUESDAY

PERFORMANCE!!! YAY!! haha... i haf a heeeeeeuuuggggeeee announcement to make...

I DID NOT MAKE A SINGLE MISTAKE DURING TARIAN AND I DID NOT FORGET ANY STEPS EITHER...

WHOOO WHEEE!!

Haha... Cant help announcing that out... Coz i totally suck at tarian and when i did that i was like, so HAPPY!!! Still cant believe it sehh... And DYLZ!!!! u guys rockkk!!! Seriouslyyy!! I'm sooo happy to be part of u guys girls.. hehe...

okay after that....

JALAN-JALAN RAYA!!!

Wheee... But b4 that, MY DARLINGG CAME!!

Apaii came to RP to follow us for jalan raye.. aha.. we wore white.. like so cute kan?? hee... but he was shy lah wif the MCG ppl... hehe.. but his smoking habit is... OMFG... heavy giler sehh.. satu rumah 2 sticks.. rabakz.. but then he had to leave at 6... shuckss....

i talk about him later can? haha.. k.. so raye.. omggg!!! i was like so freakingg tired sehh.. we went like 12 houses i think... and each house 15 minutes.. kaoz... den i reached home around 1230am like that... But then kan, Ariff's house is realllyyy reaaaallyyyy niceee!! Condo kat simei.. really larh.. i wan that kind of house lehh.. haha... but bo lui lahh...

kwengs...

now about ma darlingg!! hehe...

Him... Cute tu, okay lah.. cute jugakk.. but then, he made me feel so loved.. aha.. and so cuddlyy... haiz.. can cair u noe.. haha.. and den we talk on the fon almost everyday and stuff.. he reminds me of Ayul a little.. Is that good or bad??? i dunno lah ehh.. haiz...

SPEAKING OF THAT IDIOT AYUL!

WAD THE FUCKING FUCK. U STILL DARE TO ASK ME FOR MONEY! EH, GET A LIFE ARH EH.. KO SIAPE AKU NAK KASI DUIT?? DASAR JANTAN KEPARAT! PEGI LAH KAT POMPAN2 KAU TU SUMER.. ASL CARIK AKU SIAL?

herrhh... so basically, wad i said was.. Who are u for me to give money? Bastard.. Why're u still finding me? Go to the other girls arhh.. Why find me sial?

ahh..

idiot asked me for $480.. Den 50 and den 20... Wad the heck... He thinks i'm his Walking ATM arh?? herh.. whatever arh eh...

i hate you Ayul. GET THAT IN UR THICK DUMB SKULL!

I just hope that me and Apai can somehow work things out... we're not a couple yet if u guys are wonderingg.. aha... but we kissed alreadyy.. haaha... bleahh... love kisses!! hehe...

okie.. done updating! freaking longg.. ahha..

presentation. three letters.

.DIE.

.Open House.

END OF OPEN HOUSE.

END OF MY BRO'S BDAY.

THE END.

I'M EXHAUSTED.

Lol. But then lotsa food lah.. And i kinda enjoyed myself today uhh.. hakz..

So, for starters, the first fren to come was Nadia!! She came wif this cute guy from TP. Yeah, he's cute and cool as well.. Den we chit chat and stuff, and went to the block behind my block to smoke.

While smoking, Shuhail called me.. They were already at my block void deck. Whoo.. And they joined me, Nadia and the Fauzi guy.. And went back, whee.. Shuhail, Aiman and Zuraidah came.. Had a fun time relieving all those monorail times.. hahaha.. whee.. Then Mazlinda came.. And she went.. And Edry came.. Along wif the other guy.. i forgot his name.. Wahaha.. Edry, u're kinda cute u noee.. haha.. and i still wonder y u're not photogenic... aha..

Okie, den, Eijal.. AKA Mr Boncet called. He wanted to come. But i said, it was already to late.. he was at Bugis.. And it was like 9 plus already.. Heck lah.. So i told him no need to come la.. And i think he patched wif his ex.. Huhu..

I think i'm in love. Wif a guy name Apai. Lol. I'd rather call him Afai. haha.. Me and Afai msg like, i dunno how many times a day.. Morning, afternoon, nite and early dawn.. kwangs.. and i talk to Afai like at least 4 hrs each day.. okay like, it's always 12 plus to 4 plus everynight... sigh...

and i'm definitely feeling something for Afai... Siggh.. He's a bit like my ex Ayul... Only that i think, he has more self control and he's more straightforward lah.. sighh... i'm too gullible in love... shucks...


i hate it when my feelings are vulnerable...
i hate it when i'm unsure of ma feelings..


STRESSED UP!

Selamat Hari Raya

Okayy.

I havent been updating for sucha long time.

Damn!

haha... No mood lah.. Becoming lazy to blog.. Ouhh geez..

And yesh, HARI RAYA IS HERE. OMG! Enjoy ya peeps.. I wanna go collection alreadyy.. Haha.. I'm broke.. And i mean, freakingg broke.. Haha.. Ouhh wells.. At least wif Hari Raya, i'll get some income.. Wheee...

"Kepada Semua yang mengenali diri ini, ku susun 10 jari meminta ampun dan maaf jika ada salah dan silap atau terkasar bahasa pada masa yg lalu.. "

(ok, interrupted by a call frm someone. spent 2 mins guessing who he is.. and it turned out to be SID. PANTAT. and it's like 1.50 am?? haha.. miss ya pantats maaan.. dunno abt the sheesha lah... confirm wif u guys soon k...)

geylang~ again~

Wheee... Haha.. Went Geylang again todayy.. Hurhur.. Yesterday went wif ma family.. Den today went wif Ducky~! Hehehe.. I let u guys see the pics first.. Haahaa..

OoOo.. Cheese Sausages... Haha.. U noe i noe lah kanz ehh Ducky.. Haha..

CHEESE SAUSAGES!! I WANTT MORE LEHH! LIKE.. SUCKING.. HAHA... OMG.

Model for First Lady's Scarf.. Haha..

Caught off guard.. DUCKYY!!!

Sume muka dier pe.. Hahaha...

Wheeee

Haha.. Okay.. So, we met at 5 at Jrg East Mrt Station.. Den, yeah.. took the train to Paya Lebar.. Walked to First Lady.. But didnt get the kebaya i had in mind.. So, decided to walk around the bazaar lah..

And, I SAW FARHAN. Omg. The guy who was my dad's NSMan in 2002. Craps.. He still looks the same and i still cant forget his looks.. *lubang hidungmu tetap menjadi pujaan hati ku* LOLZ. no lahh.. But his nose is wad makes me remember him.. Hahaha..

ok, so, me and ducky went round the bazaar, and i bought this VERY NICE KEBAYA CINA for $45.. hehe.. and funny thing was, i tried M, and it cant fit coz my b**** were too ***.. hahaha... SHUTTUP DUCKY! haha.. So, yeah.. HAHA. it's white anyways.. So my colours dis yr are BLACK AND WHITE. Cam ska pulakk.. haha..

Okay den, we walk2.. Till buka.. And guess wad??!! We were so obsessed wif CHEESE HOTDOGS!! hehe.. Nice lehh~!! Haha.. i had 3 cheese hotdogs.. =X

HAHA. okie, den walk here, walk there.. aah.. den went back to the First lady, bought the black scarf... and we went back.. CAM WHORED IN THE TRAIN. hehe...

Fun le.. ahha..

I STILL WANT THE HOTDOGS. OMG.

SOMEONE BUY FOR ME PLEASE.