Such As.. Going for Holidays.

First penned: 18/03/2015

Again, I think it's been more than a month since i last updated?

Anyways,

We're planning a trip to Bangkok after Abang Fadzli's wedding in June. It will be a multi-city holiday again. Hee.

The wedding will be at Kedah, Malaysia, somewhere i have never been, except for taking the ferry to Langkawi. I think we wont go around much since it's the wedding anyway. Still, to go to a place i've never been to is still exciting.

The following day after the wedding, we'll be going to BANGKOK!

But first, from Kedah, we will need to go to Hat Yai Airport to take flight to Bangkok.

I AM SO EXCITED. I have always been to Malaysia-Indonesia trips but never any other country!
Going to Bangkok should be nice. Been hearing so much about the place.

I am doing so much research on Bangkok. Reason being, I don't want to be cheated like how we were cheated in Bandung.

Let's just talk about the Bandung-Bali trip since we are on the topic of Holidays.

We went for our honeymoon immediately after the wedding - the next morning!
Our flight was at 7.40 am if  I'm not wrong. We were at the airport at 5am like that, which meant we left home at about 4.30 am. I had only had a few hours sleep while the husband slept like a log.

I was so nervous. We have never gone for a trip together without our family before. This was really the first time - EVER. It was also Hafiz's 2nd flight after donkey years. We were THAT nervous but Alhamdulillah the flight was smooth and it was just a short flight.

BUT - we landed at Jakarta instead of Bandung instead. WHY?

Apparently, we booked out flight early back in May 2014 because we were way excited for the Honeymoon - more so that our wedding. Heh.. So we booked from Singapore to Bandung straight via Tigerair.

Then back in September 2014 (i think), they emailed to inform that the were rescheduling the flight. So I was like, okay lah, reschedule still on the same day. Then in October, they emailed to inform that they are discontinuing that flight. LIKE WTF. 1 month before the flight.

I was so pissed lah. Then the whole story of waiting for the refund and all. Peh leceh. Then of course, we had to find another flight for that day. So i checked Airasia & Jetstar.

So Airasia travels to Bandung straight, but the price was a little bit more expensive. And so, i settled for Jetstar to Jakarta instead and then from Jakarta, we shall make our way to Bandung. It'll probably take about 2-3 hours.

BUT NO.

It took about 4 hours plus all the jams! OMG. I slept and woke up about twice before reaching Bandung. Even though it took that long, we managed to get some nice architectural buildings in Jakarta.

We reached Bandung only to find out, we didnt know where we will be alighting. The nice driver, he dropped us off at the Blue Bird taxi stand, and we made our way to the hotel.

I was really cranky by the time we checked in to the hotel but the hotel receptionist was so friendly and nice. I guess i was skeptical about the hotel after going through the long journey. Anyway, we stayed at The Papandayan Hotel, and it looked like this:

The view is not much though, but I love how i can see the sky so clearly from the window.

Anyway, we were so shagged from the long trip that we just ordered room service.

The carbonara was delicious!

We were so tired that we fell asleep right after that and only woke up around 6. Had to drag ourselves out because of the fatigue. So we went out, and it was so chilly. We wanted to go out for dinner but didnt know where to go. In the end, we decided to go to Trans Studio Mall. Didnt want to take cab because dunno where the cabs are so thought of walking there.

Then an angkot stopped beside us, so Hafiz asked if he go to Trans Studio Mall, which he did! It took about 5-10 mins to reach. It felt further though if we walked. So, went to Trans Studio Mall and first thing we did was find food! We settled for a Japanese restaurant. Apparently most of the restaurants there are Halal.

It was SUPER DELICIOUS LAHHHH. The bill came up to Rp 200,000 ++ roughly aroud $20 plus? Super cheap considering we bought sashimi and all. After that we shopped for a bit and head back by Taxi. In Trans Studio Mall, they had a surchange. I forgot how much it was.

The next day, we had breakfast at the hotel. It was AWESOME. I guess Bandung is food haven for us.

Those Hotdogs. Those ketat Hotdogs. LOVE.

After breakfast, we head out to Trans Studio, by Angkot.

And so, when we got down from Angkot, two ladies appeared. 1 was "blind" and the other was quite alright. They asked for some money, so we gave Rp 20,000 (about $2-$3), and after that, was unbelievable. The "blind" lady walked so normally and gelek-ed her way out while laughing with her friend. I was so pissed lah.

Anyway, went in to Trans Studio.

*insert: continued on 28/08/2015

Took almost half a year to finish one long blog post about our Honeymoon. Heh. Anyways,

So we went to Trans Studio Mall first. It was fun the first time round when I went there a few years ago. Apparently, some of the attractions were closed. Especially that Giant Swing ride! Man.. that was the highlight! Anyways, few pictures of the attractions:

We stayed for only 3 hours and we left after that to look for more food. We went to a Kafe Betawi and got these:

It wasn't really that nice. So we hopped to another place, and it's cafe! So happy.. Kat Singapore too crowded.

The cafe was awesome!

That carbonara pizza was THE BOMB.

So we went back after doing a little shopping. At the hotel, we bumped into the receptionist. He was nice to recommend us the hotel tour. It costs Rp 750,000. So i thought it was alright for a 12 hour today.

The next day after the AWESOME breakfast,

we set on our journey. Like, super excited to explore another country, right. Amateur travellers mah.
See that excited face.

So first, we went to change some money. I think we changed about $400.

First stop was Tangkuban Perahu. I was excited to go there since, it's a volcano after all. I have never been on a volcano. But to enter the place was Rp 200,000 per person

That's like $20!

Ok nevermind. Just Pay. Skali when were on top, the driver, hooked us up with a Tour Guide. So at first, we thought okay la.. He took a lot of nice photos for us.

Then he asked if we wanted to follow the tour. 1 hour was Rp 300,000! So i was like, ok lah. First time what. So we went down. Took more photos.

And suddenly, 6 men started to follow us. The guide said something, which we couldn't make out because of his accent.

As we went along the trail, i got more and more tired. At the very last part of the trail, I FELL.
OMG IT HURTS SO BAD.

I couldn't really walk and i tried to force my way down.

And THEN,

Shit started to happen. When we were at the Kawah,the 6 men who followed us started to take out their things to sell. And, their items are just normal souvenirs but they totally jack up the price!

We were so scared if anything else were going to happen to us. So we bought their things, which probably amount to almost all the money that we changed!

Dah tu, they left us with the guide. Obviously, i couldn't walk, So there was an ojek service. And that too, cost like Rp 400,000.

WTF right? Daylight robbery seh. Since Hafiz saw that i couldn't walk much, he just took it. And it was barely a 5 mins ride! WTF!!

And the tour guide, said we incurred another hour. which was another Rp300,000 and also, his tip. Hafiz didn't tip him very well considering all that happened. We left, and told the driver to bring us back to the hotel.

SUCH HORROR! 1st place that we went was such a bad experience and totally wiped out all our money! Typing this 9 monthts later still angers me.

We have no money left on hand to even continue the rest of the journey, plus, i sprained my ankle bad!

So we spent the rest of the time, in the hotel, ordering Room Service AGAIN.

The hotel staff were really nice. While chit-chatting with us, they found out that we were on Honeymoon. They sent us a cake!

The next day, was the last day at Bandung.

We got the hotel airport shuttle to send us to Bandara Husein Sasatranegara. The moment we got off that car, we were on a war with people asking to change money and whatnot. Since we were early for our flight, we just sat at a nearby cafe for about an hour.

After checking in, we waited again for another 3 hours as the weather was pretty bad. It was raining and our flight got delayed a few times.

So we got on our way to BALI!

We were so excited since almost everyone we knew had already gone to Bali.

The flight was bumpy and scary but Alhamdulillah we reached Bali safely.

We got the Villa transfer. By the time we reached, the driver was waiting for us. Reaching Bali at night was really a magnificent view.

So we stayed at the Putu Bali Villa & Spa.

It was a nice place, but we actually wasted a lot on the Villa itself. Initially, we had planned for a few of us to go to Bali together. But plans changed, but the Villa couldnt so we were charged $624 on a place which was supposed to be for 4 persons. =/

We crashed early since we were so tired from the flight.

The next day while having breakfast, the driver who fetched us from the airport asked whether we wanted a tour. Being wary, we asked how much and he said it was Rp 500,000 for 12 hrs. Not too bad, and the driver was nice anyway. So we said ok. But he let his friend took over instead as he had a prior booking.

So, okay. We went ahead. Bali was so much nicer and friendlier than Bandung. We went to so many places. The driver was really nice as well. Told us many stories, and brought us to many places.

We had a nice dinner at Jimbaran Bay. The atmosphere was really nice, food was okay. We ordered the coconut juice and all. And that ended our night, after touring Kuta area.

That very night, i felt so sick. I kept vomitting and had liquid diarrhoea.

Tried all sorts of things and nothing made it better. I even had to shit and vomit at the same time. It was THAT BAD.

In the end, Hafiz went to the reception to call for a doctor. The doctor came like 2 hours later. -_-" The doctor gave an injection and put me on drip. Felt so weak. Stayed in the whole day. Recently, we realised, it's either I was allergic to coconut juice, or that I had ice in Coconut Juice.

The next day, managed to get up and went for a walk, and we also went to Kuta Beach Walk to shop for a while. Went to Matahari to get some souvenirs and headed back to the Villa.

And so, our last day at Bali, again we headed to the airport early. Waited for flight. The airport was really nice anyway.

It felt really good to be back home after a whirlwind of incidents abroad.

Well, finally finish this very long post. I think it's been more than half a year.

I'll be blogging about that Kedah Bangkok Post soon. I need a break!

Thoughts

Yay-Hey! I finally did my blogskin after donkey years.
It's not much, i've definitely lost touch on the whole HTML-CSS things.

It's simple, and i like it. Plus it has my favourite colour combination.

I'm definitely finding joy in blogging again. I guess I'm having a lot of pent-up thoughts.
Not that I can't talk to my husband about it. I miss blogging anyways.

Here we go!

I have issues with social media. Like Facebook and Instagram for intance. Well, I don't really have issues with them directly. More like, people who use them. I don't get it. So much negativity in the world, especially in Singapore.

Everything also you wanna make viral/shame the other party when you don't get your way.

Whatever happened to humanity?

What do you get by shaming people?

Really, it's like living in the world, there's no privacy anymore. Like, you can't make a mistake else, you'll be shamed and the whole world will know.

And all those talk about racism, FTs and whatnots.

It is getting so annoying.

I come to a conclusion that Singaporeans wallow on self-pity. They always feel that they're victimized some way or another. All i can say is, you're just lucky you're staying in Singapore. At least we still have a lot more benefits and other riches compared to other Asian/Asean countries.

If i were to talk about it, i think it will be a long post. But, let's just stop here.
Enough ranting. Skali someone take a snap of my blogpost and make it viral, kena shame coz of my way of thinking. *rolls eyes*

No more privacy in the world. People just think of themselves instead of others.

sad within

i got period again today.

i feel so hopeless lah. i thought recently, i felt certain changes.
but i guess, they were just a hoax after all.

it's hard not to feel sad i guess.

HARI RAYA!

I will not be cliché to post things such as:
"First Raya together as husband and wife"

Eh.. i'm a mood dampener now. Dunno meh? Heh..

No la.. just that.. social media is making me very cautious and wary of the things i post.. So many things have got viral. Such a scary world we live in.

And some straightforward things can also be misinterpreted so i choose not to share nor comment on certain issues.

I may start to blog again. Seems like this blog has gone through so much with me for the past 10 years. OmG. Has it been 10 years?! Blogger pls dont shut down okay. I've so much memories on this blog.

It's probably the only platform of social media that is somehow 'private'.

Anihoos, Raya right? Post happy things lah!

Mobile blogger only allows photos at the end leh.

Ok nvm. I'll probably just share my views instead of doing choronological recount.

So yes, our first raya together.

It was messy on the first day because we do not how to go about it. Guess we need to improve next year on In Shaa Allah.

2nd & 3rd Syawal were nice. 2nd Syawal was spent with Hafiz' side. Went to so many houses! So humbled by their welcoming nature. I mean, it's only the 2nd year following them. I've met them on several basis la but still.. i just felt humbled throughout.

3rd Syawal was on my side. We didnt go to as many houses as we wanted to coz Shafiq had to go back to camp. We managed to get 8 houses. That's okay i guess.. and i got to meet my nephews, nieces and cousins. It was great seeing them again after a year. Laughed so much.

I'm glad that my husband is someone very friendly and he can get along with people easily. I'm not like that anymore. I find it hard to get along with ppl on the first meeting. It takes time. But i guess i already took my time with his family members and i can talk freely to them now.

Also, i'm very thankful that this year, i manage to ask for forgiveness more, even though i didnt manage to ask from some. The most memorable one would be from Haza. Touched my heart made me cry. I still tear when i think about it. I've had my share of wrongdoings too. It's been too long ago. We should just let it go.

Another thing i'm thankful for is the doas and blessings from our parents and relatives (apart from 1 distant relative's family who asked me straight in the face "dah ade?"). They did not ask me if i'm pregnant or not but they said they will doa for us to have a baby soon. I'm just so touched by that.

So that's our raya weekend this year. More soon this coming weekend. Till then.

Gotta control that anger.

Recently, i have anger issues.

Towards everybody that doesnt do or listen to what i say. This anger is especially so towards my husband.

I dont know why it's like that. Like everything he does pisses me off and its not even his fault.

PMS? I never had PMS like this before.

Him being him, he doesn't stop loving me or be patient with me, which made me sympathise and feel apologetic to him all the more.

Sigh.. i should really tone myself down and start being a better wife to him. I should appreciate that he's around for me and has always been there for me.

Marriage is not just marrying a person.  It doesn't just stop after a beautiful wedding. It's about what you can do for your significant other after that wedding.

It's not a matter of coming back home to the same house, or that you can already sleep in the same bed. There are Responsibilities.

To take care of each other in times of sickness, health, ups and downs.
To be each others confidante, on things that you can never tell anyone else and be each others' support.

And most importantly, open communication.

In a marriage, your husband is the team captain and u're his tean and a team should have good teamwork to support each other.

Thank you Allah for a wonderful team captain. I'm grateful every single day.

What else is there to feel?

I have another blog post on hold, yet i'm penning this one down.

It's not much i guess. Just, a little sad, a little disappointed but it's just a forbidden feeling.

Its been 6months.
It's getting annoying.

Ada?
Dah ada?
Tak try?
Tak plan ke?

Astaghfirullahalazim.

I just have to smile and say belum or belum ada rezeki.

People dont realise how painful that qn is. Yes, questioning out of curiosity, if the other party is really pregnant - then u add in to their happiness.

But if  the other party is not - then you're rubbing it to their pain.

It's not that we tak try. We do. But on why until now tak sangkut, only Allah knows. I dont have an answer to that. No one does.

Yes, i buy a pregancy test kit every month. How stupid of me right? Just to see if there is a + at the end. But, not my luck.

Haiz.

My only form of consolation, is that i feel Allah thinks I'm not ready to have a baby. For whatever reason.. Maybe i'm not a good enough human being yet. Or that now is not the time.. with the house on the way and with my dad' repayment and all.

It's okay then. I will wait till the time Allah thinks i'm ready to be a mother, In Shaa Allah.

Keeping Sane

It is 18 March 2015.

I am beginning to think that I am only blogging once or twice a year only. Lol.

10 March 2015 has gone. 6 years since we first met each other. It has been a crazy roller coaster ride. It still is. It's like an infinity roller coaster ride.

It is 18 March 2015.

It means that, as of now, I am married! YAY! Alhamdulilah.

I havent talked about our relationship much these few years. I hardly ever made public about my ups and downs. Not making it public does not mean that there were not any problems. Every couple goes through fights and all. I just chose not to wash my dirty laundry in public.

Anihoos. 22 November 2014.

The date that we got married was a beautiful affair. I love my deco - still do.

*it's 24th March today, by the way.

I'll upload pictures when i'm free-er.

I think the most amazing thing about the whole wedding ceremony wasnt about how it flowed through, the costumes and whatnot. It was the most humbling experience I have ever gone through in my life.

Seeing family members, relatives and friends go all out just to make sure that everything was running smoothly. Be it for my parents or me, i felt grateful, thankful and humbled.

I would prolly get married all over again - only with lesser cost. Lol.

Here's a glimpse though. I dont want to bore myself writing a long post for now.

Where did the time go?

My last post was in November 22, 2013. It was my first day at work in SBST.

This year, November 22, 2014, is the date that I'm going to get married.

It's April 20th, 2 days shy of 5 months being in this company which I absolutely adore, and doing the job I absolutely love.

It is also 2 days and 7 Months shy of my wedding.

I just think that everything is slightly grey now. Apiz said, our moms have somehow got into a conclusion to nikah us first before my parents go for Umrah. Then in November, we will sanding.

Initially, I thought that was a great idea. Now, I'm just afraid. I know Apiz is afraid too. He is not mentally prepared to leave his house fully.

My fear? I guess I have always been afraid of change. Like how I was in my 3rd year in RP. It's like, I was the senior in poly when I still feel like I'm still a kid.

Now, I just don't know how and what to feel.

I'm afraid. That's for sure.

The whole marriage thing is scary.

Saving money.
Booking-Deposit-Paying nearing your date
Spending money.

I have anxiety when it comes to money.

1) Saving 70% of my pay.
Currently I'm saving $1000/mth. Seems like still not enough though. Haiz, but that's the most that I can afford. I hope there's a bonus somewhere, can boost up the saving.

2) Booking-Deposit-Paying near your date
Sigh. I'm so so paranoid. I hate owing money. So this, just sucks to me, but no choice. I have to book the services that I want first. But I don't have enough money to pay them now. So i have to owe first. Haiz..

3) Spending money
I think i've become a total scrooge. I won't buy costly things. I won't even buy things. I don't even shop unless it's really necessary (like my shoes got torn). So the thought of spending money is scary to me. If i spend, I won't have enough. I feel like i'm poor. But it's not that. It's just that I have money, which i can't use. But it's enough to make me feel like I really have no money.

Things will be better one day.

I can't say when, but it will be better one day.

For now, HAIZ. My thoughts are all about making money.

So stress!!

tummy full of butterflies

I'm starting my new job tmr at a good local company and in an industry that I'm familiar with. Apart from the fact that for once in my life, I'm not doing a customer service position. It's really making me nervous.

But at the same time, I'm actually feeling very excited that it's not a position that I'm familiar with. I get to learn new things and not be stagnant with my knowledge. Yes, I am very nervous. I hope it doesn't go like the previous company. Hopefully not. It better not be.

Ok. Maybe just a short post for now since it's almost 2.15 am.

Update more tmr or something. :)

Personality Profiling

INFJ Personality

The INFJ type is believed to be very rare (less than 1 percent of the population) and it has an unusual set of traits. Even though their presence can be described as very quiet, INFJ personalities usually have many strong opinions, especially when it comes to issues they consider really important in life. If an INFJ is fighting for something, this is because they believe in the idea itself, not because of some selfish reasons.

INFJ personalities are drawn towards helping those in need – they may rush to the place of a major disaster, participate in rescue efforts, do charity work etc. INFJs see this as their duty and their purpose in life – people with this personality type firmly believe that nothing else would help the world as much as getting rid of all the tyrants. Karma and similar concepts are very attractive to INFJs.

These tendencies are also strengthened by the fact that INFJ personalities have a unique combination of idealism and decisiveness – this means that their creativity and imagination can be directed towards a specific goal. Few other personality types have this trait and this is one of the most important reasons why many INFJs are able to eventually realize their dreams and make a lasting positive impact.

INFJs are masters of written communication, with a distinctively smooth and warm language. In addition, the sensitivity of INFJs allows them to connect to others quite easily. Their easy and pleasant communication can often mislead bystanders, who might think that the INFJ is actually an extrovert.

INFJs should be careful to avoid “overheating” as their zeal and determination can sometimes get out of hand. As introverts, INFJs need to have some “alone time” every once in a while or otherwise their internal energy reserves will get depleted really quickly. If this happens, the INFJ may surprise everybody around them by withdrawing from all their activities for a while – and since other people usually see INFJs as extroverts, this can leave them both surprised and concerned.

INFJs take great care of other people’s feelings and expect others to return the favor. Unsurprisingly, people with this personality type are very sensitive and vulnerable to conflicts – even the most rational INFJs may find it quite difficult to not take criticism personally. This is the INFJ’s Achilles’ heel – if someone with an INFJ personality cannot escape the conflict, they will do their best to deal with it head on, but this will result in a lot of stress and may also potentially lead to health problems or highly irrational behavior.

taken from http://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality

INFJ Strengths

Determined and passionate. INFJ personalities work very hard for causes they believe in. This passion can easily surprise people not used to seeing this side of the INFJ, but it is an inseparable part of their personality.
Altruistic. It is very rare to see an INFJ do something just for their personal benefit. People with this personality type tend to be very warm and altruistic, even though these traits may not be clearly visible.
Decisive. This is one of the most important strengths of any INFJ. Their imagination, combined with decisiveness, usually allows INFJs to achieve incredible things – not only they can come up with interesting and unusual ideas, they also have the willpower and planning skills necessary to implement those ideas.
Creative. INFJs possess a vivid imagination and rarely have any difficulties expressing it in one way or another. Most of their solutions revolve around people or ideals, as opposed to technical strategies – this strength makes INFJ personalities excellent counselors and advisors.
Inspiring and convincing. People with the INFJ personality type know their way with words and are known for their fluid, inspirational writing style. INFJs can also be convincing speakers, especially if they are talking about something they are very proud of or passionate about.
Very insightful. INFJs find it easy to decipher other people’s motives and are rarely affected by manipulation or sales tactics. They tend to know instantly whether someone is being honest. This strength shields their sensitive inner core, protecting the INFJ from disappointment.

INFJ Weaknesses

Extremely private. INFJs may appear expressive and passionate, but they are actually very private individuals. People with this personality type often find it quite difficult to trust a new friend or open up, even to people who are closest to them.
Can burn out easily. That strength and passion that INFJ personalities are known for can exhaust them quickly if they are not careful. INFJs also tend to internalize most of their feelings – this trait is not necessarily a weakness, but it deprives them of the “exhaust valve”.
Very sensitive. INFJs are highly vulnerable to criticism and conflict situations, and can get hurt very easily. People with this personality type are also likely to react strongly to anything that challenges their inner principles and values.
Perfectionistic. INFJ personalities are inherently idealistic and do their best to achieve their ideals. This is a great trait, but it can quickly become a weakness if the same approach is applied in every area of life. For instance, INFJs may find it difficult to settle down in a romantic relationship, always looking for an ideal partner.
Always need to have a cause. INFJs may find it difficult to focus and force themselves to complete tasks which are not linked to one of their goals, e.g. some routine administrative work that must be carried out. People with this personality type always want to know that they are moving towards a worthy goal, and may feel disappointed and restless if this is not the case.

This is by far the most accurate result i've ever gotten!

Don't Stop Can't Stop?

I'm so obsessed with 2PM right now.

I just find that they're very inspiring and totally unlike other Kpop acts. They're more manly and they're definitely the real deal. Nichkhun in particular, i thought that he's cute and romantic after watching We Got Married. But after much Youtube-ing and whatnot, I am seriously in awe of this guy. Yes, he was scouted because of his good looks, but seriously, how do you keep pushing yourself to sing and dance AND speak/read Korean when you don't AT ALL. Seriously, inspirational.

I've been listening to their songs and their particular Don't Stop Can't Stop got to me. Really made me feel I can do anything I want to be if I work hard.

That being said, on Wednesday 23rd October, was supposed to be my first day of work at some tuition center. I was excited. I didn't sleep. Since work starts at 12pm, I went for a jog at 7am. I was so pumped up, listening to Don't Stop Can't Stop, thinking this job is going make a career for me.

I reached Bedok early. Was at McDonald's at 11.30 WHEN another company (which I thought would never call me back, which job post was what I wanted) CALLED!

I was so distraught. Here I was, half an hour before I started work and my dream job and company called me! What was I going to do? But I was so honest, I told them that I had already found a job.

So, I still followed with the plan. But the moment I entered that tuition center, I was in such a shock. They were doing some sort of filming for ad. I had to wait amongst all the chaos while the person in charge did some preparations for me. It was super awkward I wanted to cry.

And the fact that, there we so many foreigners! I have nothing against foreigners, really. I just felt small being with people who are in a better position than me, like really afraid. And I found out that my boss is an angmoh, waaaah!! Panic mode. I have this fear for working with Angmohs. Really, nono, it's not because of they came to Singapore to work steal our jobs thingy. No. It's more like, they're like, superior? I guess.

So you'd think, Don't Stop Can't Stop huh.

Lol. And then, the worst thing is when the person in charge started to introduce to me all the products. OHH seriously! Not was what I was expecting. I cannot absorb at all! It was all so alien to me. I've worked in the transport, retail, insurance and customer service line but education line?? Really? Not me.

I was so distracted still by the fact that the other company called. So while the Person in charge was doing some other work, I emailed the other company if they still had the position available as i was still interested.

And midst all the chaos, they asked to go for my lunch. OHHH WOW.

SO, in almost 10 years of working, I did what i have never done before.

I ran away. I lasted for two hours in that company. I was so scared. I had culture shock. I knew I didn't want to work in that company. If I stayed, I knew I was going to be in trouble. I didn't want that. The fact that the other company called was definitely a wake up call.

It really was okay if I didn't get a job with the other company. I would be really comfortable with any local company. Really.

If i look at it negatively, I ran away without trying. I was being a coward.

But, when I look at it positively, I wanted to be available for the company that I wanted to work with. I wanted to work in an admin post. I have done too much of customer service. I really want to sit down and do work on my own. Even if i don't get it, it's okay i guess.. Maybe I'll fit in in some local company. I'm chasing my own dreams. Not what people expect of me.

This experience really made me open my eyes and be more mindful about the companies that I apply for.

Well, let's just home the next job won't be disastrous as this.

In the meantime, don't stop can't stop.

Annyeong

I think since i'm unemployed, i should start blogging again.

when you're older, pouring your heart out just feels off. especially when its online. but then again, no one reads blogs anyore. so, it doesnt really matter now.

I just celebrated my 4.5 years anniversary with bb. who would have thought? really.

i remember the days when i would celebrate monthsaries and thinking, "WOW! Six months with the same guy!" and then, it was 1 year, then 2 years, and got engaged on the 3rd year and then, 4 years.. how time flies!

i really don't wanna type down what i'm feeling right now coz i'll get nonstop anxiety. coz it's about the W word. no. not now. i don't want to think about it. 

Being in a relationship, this long, hasnt been easy. the first 2 years were very difficult. we almost broke up many many times. maybe for one, we didnt understand each other. we were very different. he was a free spirit. i was an old soul. 

we still are. he was egoistic. he wouldn't give in. i was the needy and clingy one. and i would cry everynight.

but over the course of time, we grew up. and we became more tolerant of each other's behaviour. And so, for the past 2.5 years, i've been happier. he's giving in a lot. and he's smothering me with so much love. and i'm guilty of having a bad temper recently, which i feel very bad of.

but i'm still learning. 

i've started to wear hijab now. And i've started to solat, which honestly, i have been guilty of not doing. Allah SWT has opened up my heart to change. And i will try to be a good Muslimah.

For now, i'm still looking for a job. so most of my days are filled with housework and solat, which i find it to be very therapeutic.

Well, that's about it. For a first proper blog post in years, this is kinda long. well, till next time. 

hello

it's been a darn long time since i last blogged.

and this blog has been discovered and read by my Fiance. i feel bad that he had to read all of that deep embarrassing feelings that i had. i think he was hurt and it's just that he doesnt show it. :'( if the roles were reversed, i would have been crushed. haiz.. such is life.

but even through everything, i know that i only have one person in my heart and that is him. no one else. he's been the most loving fiance. even though he has his shortcomings but i know that there is no one that can love me as much as he does.

we just have to face this hardship of being unemployed together.

what more getting married in exactly one year. sigh.

i dont want to think about it. i'll get stressed up.

goodnight lovelies. we'll see how life goes from here.

coz it's Adele

totally on repeat mode. making me tear A LOT.