horrible feelings

i teared when i was on my way to work.

i teared when i was working.

i cried when i finish work.

i cried when i was on the way home.

i broke down when i reached my room. (notice that i used 'my room')

i was nearly knocked down by Richard's bus at work. Maybe i was just too clouded in my own thoughts and too many ppl were getting on my nerves. Still, i just wish he could have just knock me down instead of braking very hard. I was just a few inches away from his bus.

Then again, as a friend, i dun want him to be charged and stuff.

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!

I'm sick and tired of crying. I feel like letting loose of all my sanity and just go purely insane.

i'm not strong enuff to face all this.

THANKS A FUCKING LOT DAD FOR ALWAYS PULLING DOWN MY ESTEEM, WILL, CONFIDENCE AND STRENGTH.

FUCKKK~!

i dunno where i'm gonna get the strength to pluck myself up and regain my confidence and will.
i feel so alone.

work was tough. as always, public holiday. and was raining just now, caught in the heavy rain. got myself drenched. yeah, well, i dun care if i'm gonna get sick. i might just as well be.

it scares me sometimes when i think abt this. and u noe how it can affect us. i'm just mentally prepared for the worst. but i'm not emotionally prepared. my mind's blank now.

i need time alone. but at the same time i need you. it's crap.

URGHHHH!!!

TAGGER'S REPLY~

`Ashz: Puhleeze lahh.. U're the reason y i go mad okay. hehh.. And well.. sigghh.. I dunno lah.. It's just so hard for me right now.

`Lila: Ookies.. will re-link ya soon~

`Sandy: OH MY GOD! I make u miss me and care for me.. =) So touched.. I love ya bitch~

And Ouhh Ya.

Happy 3 months baby.