Things happened so fast today that i'm still in maze... So, in the morning, went to school.. met shahrain on the way.. we talked and talked.. aha.. after that, i saw sandy and met ash at the smoking point.. and we fagged awayy.. and i stayed there till 10.. haha.. skipped basic science again..
after that, went to sengkang.. to meet him.. bloody belo.. he came 30 minutes late.. when we're just meeting at the void deck.. he came down at 12.. and we went to mac and stayed there till 3.. we took pics.. haha..
Uhhuh.. Like nothing happend.. but!! i found out y he's been acting the way he's acting and my suspicion is true.. i wont say wad it is thoughh.. if it didnt happen then i'd probably not noe abt it till nw.. and its been gg on for a mth already.. like, i totally went silent.. i didnt noe wad to say or how to react.. he tried to deny at first.. but look, i aint born yesterday.. and i questioned him abt it.. and yeah, it was true.. fuckin broke my heart... but i cant say anything coz it already happened..
we were at mac.. and i didnt talk to him.. he got so restless.. and he chatted with ash.. and told her how he felt.. he said he was stupid for making me like this and that he feels so guilty.. and he said sorry non stop... i noe i was stupid to forgive him.. like any other girl, they would probably blow their heads off if they knew what i knew.. but i gave him another chance.. and took the risk that he might probably do it again..
anw, after that, i went to check my pay and i got 80 bucks.. i bought him a pack of cigs.. bahaha.. he knows i smoke nw.. and he said he doesnt mind.. but he wants me to quit because he's worried of my condition.. he gave me 2 sticks to smoke with him.. whee.. haha.. then we went to tampines mall... and i bought a NICE AND OHH SOOO BEAYOOOOTIFUULL MANGO TOP. haha..
he was tired. his frens sleptover at his place and he onli slept for 5 hrs.. but he tried to cheer me up and make me forget abt IT. otw back to the busstop to sengkang, he gave me another stick.. hehe.. in the bus, i clung on to him.. and i told him..
"pls dun do that to me again.." and he said..
"i wont.. i promise... i'm really sorry for hurting u.."
"and no more silent treatments"
"no more. i promise.. i'll msg u.. and i'll settle IT soon ok.."
sighhh...
and he gave me 2 more sticks to bring home.. HAHAHA.
Okayyy, reflection time...
like i said, most girls would probably ask for a break up or just blow up if they knew that this happend to them. i wont say what happend coz its just between me and him. but, i was so calm. so silent. so hurt that he became guilty and restless. that he couldnt stand it. and he said, "dun give me the silent treatment pls..."
and i gave em a sharp reply.. "well, u gave it to me too u noe... and that was a week.."
he couldnt take the silence.. and he tried so hard to make me happy.. i dunno y i'm able to forgive him.. and just be patient with him.. hmmm... i guess its my own retribution.. i did wad he did last time during our first month of relationship.. he didnt noe abt it.. not now and not ever. i guess its retribution.
i just love him too much.. ash, sandy... i noe u guys are probably sick of telling me to be less patient with him.. but i vowed. i vowed that if anything happens in this relationship, i wouldnt wanna be the one asking for a break.. that is how much i love him. too much. too much that it hurts..
sighhh
i hope things change from now onwards..... i'm hoping hard....
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