give up ar.

DAH. GIVE UP. I GIVE UP IN DOING PHP.

URGH. I totally didn't want to come to class today. But then i thought, my handphone havent charge yet lah.. Where the heck am i going to find a power pluck. Geex. I so hate Fridays.

This morning, i was shock-en (LOL) when HE msned me. He asked me if i was angry.
And i said.. I've no reason to be angry. And i'm not angry, i'm just disappointed.

And he didnt' reply me after that.

Disappointed ah. How can you believe a rumour about me? Like, HELLO. You know me better than he does. And he's telling you something which is NOT TRUE and you believed him?! Haiz.. And because of her, you know yourself best. I've advised you enough. You're old enough to know what to do.

and u say, u can never understand why we can't be together.
it's okay. like i've said, i'm not expecting anything from you. i never have.
i understand. i understand fully.

i'm drowning myself with these 2 songs. From The Heart and Linger. I don't know lah. I don't know what to feel or how to feel. My heart is numb.

Like what me and Jimmy said to each other.

Me: I don't want to be in a relationship now. My heart is super-glued.
Jimmy: At least your heart is super-glued, you can still open it up. My heart is cemented.

WAHAHA. How funny is that? Lol.

Sigh.

I'm just a changed person. Like someone said, "u're not the same Dian i knew. and yes, that Dian is dead"

Yes, that Dian is dead.

Hmm. Let me see. I guess Dian then was too kind, too soft spoken. She lets people get away with things and lets people take advantage over her.

But now, no such thing is going to happen. i'm not going to bother about any single thing. all i care is the people i'm around with everyday. i don't go out with guys already. it's either i have no time, i will make myself not to have time.

i'm not even home to help my parents clean the house. Okay ah. Don't say house ah, my room is still not cleaned up yet. Hah. It's now all about, school, cca and WORK.

and i'm a workaholic, got a problem with that?

i keep thinking about you and i wonder why. i've said i wanted to take my leave, and i almost did. 11 days. i kept myself away from you for that long. tell me, why do i feel so wrong without you? sigh.. it's not that i love you, i'm trying not to love you because i don't wanna hurt either of us. but, i care for you. that's just it. it just hurts.