Depression

10.45 am.

Okay. 2nd post in 2nd day. Not that i'm bored.. Its just that i need to let go the feelings inside.

Ayul called yesterday and we talked for less than 3 minutes. He just said that he saw me online at Anak Melayu (a website to get to noe ppl ar.. not like chat tho).. And that he gave me a virtual kiss there... He told me to check it out and he was going to sleep already and called me just to tell me that.. Ouhhkayy... After we put down the phone, i checked his anak melayu.. i read all the sticky notes sent and received.. and yeah, he was in that morning and yeah, got to noe other girls ar..

At first, i didnt think much about it uhh.. i was sleepy so, i blogged then slept. THEN,

I DREAMT OF HIM.

And i woke up, i felt depressed, like tears strolling down from my eyes. It sucks.
It's like,

"GD MORNING DEE, REALITY HITS! BAMMM!!!"

It just hurts that he said he was single. Knowing we're both single. It hurts. So much. It just hurts that he doesnt care about me like he used to.. Loved me like he used to.. I cant control my tears. Deep down, i really wanna take good care of him again, hoping that both of us dun make the same mistakes, and just wanna love him on and on and on.

Fate is cruel. Why can't it let us have the people whom we love? Why did it let us go thru all the tears, the emotions and heartbreak? Why let us have all the emotions in a relationship if one day we're gonna fall in the depths of heartbreak??

I tried to control these tears.. But the more i tried, the worse it gets. Knowing i made one stupid mistake, i've lost him. If i had just kept quiet and not told him about it, we could have still be together.

And i realised, that day we met, that Sunday, was 18th September. That, was supposed to be our 4 mths anniversary.....