reached home at 12.15 am today. Drama rehearsals are becoming more and more strenuous. But at least it keeps me busy. and mad. some were like, dee.. be a lesbian lah dee. girls are hott u noe. and i was like.. eh stop it siaa. hurhur. dun want lah sia.
and we had Redbull challenge. HEH. Guess who won?? I DID!!! and it was the first time i joined them for it and they were all guys. ahakz.. paiseh seh they all. den after that went to eat ice-cream at MaC.
EWW.
I just lost interest in ice cream. i mean, i ate it lah. and now i feel sick. urgh. den while eating, my "Daddy" called. wahahaha. nahh.. supposed to meet him tmr for lunch but i cancelled coz i'll be gg Sentosa wif my mum and bro.
then when i was at Jrg East, Abg Man msged asking me if i was home and if i wanted to bet wif him abt tonight's matchl. alrite ah. heh.. i think France will win. Heh. Let's just wait and see. If i win the bet, he'll blanja me makan. If i lose, den i have to buy him loadsa milk. ahaha..
den reached home, si Baby call. heh.. If he knows i called him Baby in my blog, he'll kill me man! Haha.. No lah. Si Thabri Giler Baby (haha..) called me. Den talk2 to him... And i made him crazy again. Can't help it lah.. He always calls me at the time when i'm going mad. He'll always say.. "Ahh.. Dah masuk waktu giler dia ah nie.." (read: it's her crazy time again..)
ahakz.. siao-ness. but yessah.. this saturday after work, he'll be meeting me and sending me home on his bike. Wheee. I rmb the first time i took his bike, the next day, sakit seh. haha.. hopefully this time round, i'll be fine.
last night was the worse night of my life. i cried so hard that my eyes were really puffed up and i totally lost grip of myself and went half mad. even if i broke up wif some guy, i wouldnt go to this extend of breaking down.
up to the point of which, my parents came in to my room. and i was screaming like mad. i was like, lost control of myself. from 1 am to 4am i cried and cried. and my dad had to pull me and hugged me to cool me down and let me get a grip of myself.
sigh...
i hope tonight it doesnt happen again.
haish.. it's like, as much as i want you back, i feel like i also dun want you back. i'm darn ashamed. I went against my parents for you but you ditched me just like that. and now, when i'm on the verge of losing myself too, the ppl who took me into their arms were my parents. and ppl who made sure i was okay every single day, were Abang Man and Thabri Baby and ppl who cheered me up when i was down were the Sentosa drivers and my Drama ppl.
i need to find my strength and move on in life.
like Abang Man, Uncle Goh Teck Huat and Cik Azri said, "You're still young... You'll have a lot of other chances.. Who noes you can find a better one.."
And i thank Baby for making me realise the evil side that guys have and abt not to love someone 100%-ly.
And you noe what the ironic thing is, in Drama, bof Nita and Krishna had to try to smoke (wifout tarik-ing) to understand their character. Nita is a smoking addict while Krishna is some Indian scholar.
And for me, an emo suicider.. I went thru this whole bunch of shit. It certainly helped me a lot in my character building.
to minah ite,
gal, u dun haf to be guilty okay. i'm not mad at you or anything. rmb wad i told you abt making him happy? yes, please do. i hope you and him will be happy together and good luck to you relationship. i'm sure you can do a better job than me.
and to the guy who just got to noe me. please understand that i am not interested in any relationship at this point of time. so, dun think abt it alright. even if i'm interested in one, i dun even noe you so i dun see the point of gg into a relationship wif you.
and i'm happy wif the ppl ard me.
i love my family.
i love my transport department family.
i love my drama mates.
i love E35C.
i love abang man.
i love thabri baby.
yeah, tts all.
aniway, look at wad i found at leanna's flickr... hee..
i miss marco. and BEEEEJAAYY. Before i ask Gurmit to BJ u, pls send the pics we too just now okay!
much love,
ChiCka
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