I wonder

I really wonder when all this will end.. When my heart can fully face the world with open arms and with smiles that are sincere, i find, that is the time when I have fully regain my happiness and have thrown away my sorrow..

For now, it's still the same.. I'm hiding behind a mask and pretending that life and love ever existed in me.. I just find it hard to love again after all dis.. My heart is completely shattered. I guess reality hurts.

Almost all my relationships in the past has always been me dumping the guys. Now i find that i'm the one being dumped. Hafiz was the guy i really2 like last time and he sorta left me all of a sudden by silent treatment. It just hurts real bad coz i really2 like him..

And coz of him i find it hard to fall in love.. Until Faizan came along and gave me hope of being loved again and i fell for him and gave him my heart. And all of a sudden again silence..

It's as if I'm being killed twice.. I still dun get it.. Where did i go wrong? These few days had been hell for me.. Been crying n crying till i cant cry anymore.. My heart cries each day when i'm in the train, passing by those places really makes me blue.. It's sad that it all had to end like dis... I really2 miss him...